Week Two: Personal training to re-connect body and mind

On 25th April 2010 I became the 767,135th person to complete the 26.2 miles that make up the London Marathon. Completed in 4 hours, 31 minutes and 20 seconds; the 19,275th of over 36,000 who completed the course that day. Timely facts for two reasons - the first being that yesterday saw London host its 38th marathon. The second, being that this week's mindfulness mission, courtesy of Williams and Penman, is to focus on 'Keeping the Body in Mind' (for those of you joining my journey today, check out the first of my mindfulness blogs from last week here) - something, which despite my personal training qualification I've been struggling to do for a number of months now. In fact ever since I made the decision to cancel my gym membership in November - looking back now, not the best decision I've ever made considering.

Steve, the personal trainer

Not many people know that I am a fully qualified personal trainer and that in April 2010, as well as completing the London Marathon, I launched my first business - One Body Personal Training. I trained clients who were focused on getting fit without the use of a gym in their homes, or London's parks, and ran a small bootcamp on Clapham Common. Becoming a personal trainer was certainly nothing I had planned, and many of my childhood friends were surprised about my new career path given I had been the one pupil in my class who avoided PE at school whenever possible. However, my passion for personal training had been sparked from an inspirational personal trainer, Gotan, who I'd met during my second year of teaching - a point in my life where I first experienced the real stress of the workplace, and where a disconnection between my body and mind had led me to gain weight, and to a very embarrassing run for a school bus packed with students I taught, where I'd boarded gasping for air and dripping with sweat. #runfatboyrun

I'd resolved that very evening that I needed to 'get fit' and being someone who believes in doing things properly, I'd enlisted Gotan having watched him with his other clients at the gym I'd joined that next day. I'd been encouraged by his firm but fair approach to personal training - very similar to mine as a teacher! Over the following months he whipped me into shape and I had asked about his story (as I always do when I meet someone) which in turn inspired my hungry mind to seek out a new qualification in personal training. 18 months later I was qualified and launched One Body. I'd never felt fitter in my life - both mentally, and physically - which is why preparing for this week's mission to reconnect my body and mind has come as somewhat of a shock to me.

Feeling whole again

If I'm honest I've noticed that exercise has become less and less of a priority for me over the last 12 months, but even with the huge amounts of knowledge I have about the benefits of regular exercise, I've chosen to let it slowly exit, stage left, out of my life. I've fooled myself into thinking that I'm trying - I purchased an Apple watch (which I've now sold), attended a broga (yoga for bros...) class for a month, purchased a NutriBullet to create my own smoothies which I do still use but only when I'm feeling guilty, and I applied to run the NYC marathon in November and kickstarted 2018 with some outdoor runs until the ballot was drawn without my name. I've even rejoined the same gym that I left in November after saying I would join the leisure centre across the road as there was a pool I could practice my swimming in, which I never joined after returning from Thailand in December as I spent most of that month eating mince pies and drinking mulled wine.

So what was stopping me from committing to exercise. The 'chatterbox'. The new name for my anxiety. It's been chattering a lot this week, another restless night's sleep last night to boot. Why have I named my anxiety you might ask? It was actually after reading this great article published on Thrive Global, which discusses the power of 'affective labeling' (check it out). Now I'm starting to understand how spending as much time as I have in my head has meant I've forgotten about my body. Why is this important? As Williams and Penman discuss, our body often detects our thoughts before we've consciously registered them ourselves, and feeds back the emotional information to our brain, enhancing our fears, worries and general overall angst and unhappiness. Paying mindful attention to our bodies effectively creates an early warning system. If you're struggling to focus and pay attention, then it's therefore important to alter the relationship with your body - in my case to become more aware, as I once was as a personal trainer. Now whilst I'm not exactly treating my body like an enemy, I'm hardly treating it as a friend either. It has become somewhat of a stranger to me, and I'm now on a mission to become fully integrated once more. To be whole again. An investment in myself to rid myself of old habits and the feelings consuming me. To quieten, 'the chatterbox' (I'm never going to silence him, I have far too creative a brain for that to happen this I do know!).

Training my attention

And so this week, as well as completing the twice daily Body Scan from this week's programme, I'll be hitting the gym once again, with vigour and rigour. As soon as I've published this article I will be writing myself a new training programme for the gym - because I'm qualified to, and so I luckily can. It was one of the benefits I sold myself when I invested the money into studying towards a PT qualification all those years ago. Slow and steady to begin, as with any new programme of exercise, especially after a long period where the muscles be that my heart or those covering my skeleton haven't been used as they once were. I'll also be taking a walk for this week's habit releaser - I'm planning to walk the canal between Limehouse and Little Venice in London - so if anyone is interested in joining then drop me a message, and let's see if we can synchronise calendars. I might also then book myself a massage as a reward - why not!? It's time to unlock my body, and put the two pieces back together as they once were.

Until next week, keep it mindful on a Monday! S

Previously - Week One: The raisin I'm being more mindful on Mondays

Next - Week Three: The importance of self care