A week of reflection, a whole year of progress

With the heady mix of World Book Day, International Women’s Day and Mother’s Day all falling within a few days of one another this year, I’ve been particularly reflective this week.

Around this time one year ago, I was desperately trying to pretend to onlookers that taking your six-year-old daughter to the park in her Harry Potter onesie was normal. At least World Book Day allowed us to blend in for once.? Well, sort of! While all her classmates were donning the costumes of their favourite characters and getting involved in lots of fun school activities, just getting my daughter out of the house for some fresh air for the first time in several weeks was a huge achievement in its own right - for both of us.?

World Book Day 2023 has become forever etched in my memory as the first day in many weeks that we both managed to laugh together again. It was the first time my daughter had emerged from her anxiety-induced neurodivergent shutdown, after a period of school avoidance. It was the day she finally began to spread her wings and re-enter the real world, outside again. During the previous weeks, she had missed her friends’ parties, she gave up her much loved taekwondo classes and there were days when she lay in bed naked, clawing at her hair and screaming that it ‘annoyed’ her. Unlike with physical illness, there is no A&E for mental health, no ambulances are racing to the scene with their blues and twos. My heart broke for her, and it was a visceral pain.

I woke with trepidation yesterday, entered her bedroom and my heart immediately sank into the pit of my stomach. She was sitting by her little clothes cupboard, legs crossed, silently crying to herself: “I don’t know what to wear!” She wailed. I sort of knew this was coming. Despite having chosen her outfit a whole week ago, she no longer felt able to wear it. A tie-dyed tshirt (created by her own fair hands), black leggings and butterfly wings lay crumpled on the floor next to her. I racked my brain to remember the strategies that have been recommended to us over the past two and a half years to deal with occasions like this, only to draw a complete blank when I tentatively tried to encourage her a few times. I left her room defeated.?

Then I thought about how far she has come in 12 months, how she invariably leaps out of bed now on school days to feed her beloved kittens, who have become a key part of her new daily routine; her infectious, dirty laugh and how she greets her friends and her amazing teacher with the broadest toothy grin; her creativity and problem solving skills; her determination, tenacity and kindness; her spirit and how she makes my heart sing. This year, she was going to enjoy joining in with World Book Day, and I was going to make sure of it.

Half an hour later, we had found a suitably sparkly butterfly-themed top, she had donned her butterfly wings (but had decided to leave the antennae, or feelers, at home) and she was raring to go - albeit slightly later than usual.?

It turns out that all she needed from me was to be reminded of the progress she’s made in one year, that I believe in her - and that she should trust in herself that she could do it.?

On #IWD2024, I am mostly remembering that success and achievement is entirely subjective. A small achievement for one woman, or girl, is a seismic shift for another. Likewise, it doesn’t take a grand gesture to inspire and motivate others. Sometimes a small act of kindness or understanding can literally mean the difference between making or breaking someone.

To all the inspirational women out there - those I know and those I have yet to meet -? from the little girls managing to put on their butterfly wings, to the ones who are changing the world, leading and motivating others, a very happy International Women’s Day.?

#InspireInclusion