Week Notes 1st February

I've wanted to have a go at writing week notes for ages, this is my first, so be kind.

What’s been on my mind this week

This week, I’ve been reflecting on my own discomfort with challenging behaviors that I don’t like in my personal life. I was raised with the belief that “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” While that sounds great, it has often meant I silence myself when I’m unhappy and struggle to ask for what I want, especially when I fear it might create conflict.

It’s funny because, as a coach, I’m brilliant at challenge. But outside of my professional role, I sometimes find it harder to voice my needs. This is something I’m working on.

What I worked on this week

Writing Challenge: 30 Days of Microblogging

I joined the Do lectures microblogging course in November. The training ends with a 30 day writing challenge.

I have posted on Linkedin for 25 consecutive days. Being very me, I didn’t quite finish the course before I started writing, I have a couple of days to complete the last module before the challenge ends!

What I’ve learned:

• Be intentional about how you want people to feel when they read your content. Don't judge - but I'd never considered this before. My key feelins are: Empowered, Connected, Kindness.
• Timing matters publishing at 10:30 pm in a last-minute panic sucks!
• Likes aren’t everything I have had some great conversations in the comments and made some lovely new connections.

My two favourite posts from the challenge so far

Coaching & Facilitation: The Power of a Three-Way

For non-coaches, a three-way is a meeting between the coach, the coaching client, and their manager. I love these because they establish clarity on the goals for coaching. Coaching is a confidential space, so without an open conversation with the manager expectations for coaching can get misinterpreted.

As an example, a common request for leadership coaching is to develop 'more gravitas', but what does that actually mean? In a three-way meeting, I can help drill into what this means in practice, so everyone has a shared sense of success.

My process includes:

• A separate meeting with the manager and coaching client to help them get clear their needs.
• The three-way conversation to establish shared goals.
• A follow up meeting with my coaching client to go through what they heard and define their coaching plan.

It might seem ‘belt and braces,’ but this process ensures clarity for everyone.

Training & Development: 'letting Go's' with Tara

I’m working through Tara Halliday Inner Success Programme, both as a trainee coach and as a client myself. I'm coaching three clients, have weekly supervision and my own coaching support, all together this adds up to five hours a week. It's a lot of work, but is worth it for the amazing changes I have seen in myself and my clients.

A key part of the transformation process uses memory reconstruction techniques that changes what triggers you into survival mode. They are called letting go's and are very effective. Mine were all about finding my voice.

Stuff I’ve learned this week

360 Feedback Reports: feeding back with kindness

As a parrt of my leadership coaching I produce 360 Feedback reports for senior leaders to give them helpful information on their strengths and areas for growth. I find them invaluable in answering the question: what do people really think about me? I learned a cool way to open up participation so my feedback reports can now include comments from up to 20 peers, making the feedback very comprehensive.

I was reflecting this week that my own experience with 360 feedback was poor. As a newly appointed senior leader, I was keen to make a good impression and got conflicting feedback. The same trait 'my over enthusiasm and positive energy' was loved by some colleagues and loathed by others. I felt so lost about what I was supposed to do [be more miserable?] and rationalised that some people just didn't like me.

I wish I'd known at the time about strengths vs. overdone strengths

Strengths are only a strength when done at the right intensity for a situation

and survival strategies

mines Drama!

What’s Next

? I'm running an event about Clarity in March and have an accompanying ebook I'm putting the finishing touches to

? I’ve been confirmed as the Executive Coach for a group CTO. It’s always exciting when dates start going into the diary.

? Prepping for my London trip on Tuesday for team coaching and development work with UAL.

? Creating a thinking template for YES and Thinking for two leadership clients.

? Preparing next steps follow-up for the TechSY team development session.

? I have 3 videos to edit, here's one I did earlier, for my new YouTube Channel Video

Challenges & Questions I’m sitting with

• How can you challenge behaviors you don’t like, without being confrontational?
• Should I put more humour in my video?

What's going on in my life

On a personal level, I cleared another bag of clothes for charity as part of my Swedish Death Tidy. Letting go of old things is hard for me and brings up a lot of emotions. While clearing my study, I found the eulogy I wrote for my nan over 20 years ago.

She moved in with us when I was five. She loved me dearly but was incredibly difficult to live with due to her mental health struggles, something that wasn’t talked about or understood in the 70s. Living with someone who could be both loving and cruel shaped my fascination for human behavior. When I think of her I know that beneath her difficult behavior there was both her pain and her love. I am also grateful that I got to learn how we get to choose what we believe about people, including ourselves.

Final Thought

This week, I made the most delicious granola. I made mine extra nutty with Brazil nuts, almonds and slithered hazlenuts. I sort of followed the recipe below.

Granola

I have decided to write these week notes as a way for me to reflect, capture my thinking, and share a little of what goes on behind the scenes. If something here sparks ideas for you, that's awesome. P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts.