This Week I was Diagnosed as Dyslexic, and Here are My Thoughts About It
Carol Stewart MSc, FIoL
Coaching Psychologist | Executive, Career, Leadership Coach Specialising in Introverted Leaders, Women, & Underrepresented Groups – Coaching You to Lead with Confidence, Influence, and Impact | Speaker | Trainer
Last week I did a post about the many firsts, and achievements I’ve experienced in my 40s and 50s. Things of which, when I was in my 20s and 30s, I would never have dreamed I would achieve. Well, this week I have one more to add to the list, which gives me an explanation as to why I am the way I am regarding certain things. That thing is dyslexia because this week I was diagnosed as having it.
I am currently doing another Masters, and doing it full time in one year, on top of running my business. I have always found it challenging reading long academic text and then retaining the information, often forgetting what I’ve read a short time after.
When previously studying, I had never thought much about it. But I think the intensity of doing this programme in one year, on top of everything else, got me questioning things. This was even more so after one assignment on quantitative research methods that I found extremely challenging.
As someone who prefers qualitative research methods and the lived experiences of people over statistical analysis, retaining the information, data, and symbols regarding correlations, multiple regressions, etc was overwhelming. So, I asked to be assessed.
Whilst doing the assessment, it was very apparent that there were some issues with my short-term working memory, which did not come as a surprise to me. This explains why I can watch a good film on Netflix after searching for something to watch, then after watching it, not remember the name it.
I have been reflecting on it
Over the past few days since getting the diagnosis, I have been reflecting on what this means for me, and how dyslexia has shown up in my life over the past 55 years. I now recognise that I have put compensatory measures in place to get me through different situations.
One thing which comes to mind is as a girl, when it came to tidying my bedroom, I would make it into a game I played by myself. I would make small strips of paper and write on them the things in my bedroom that needed to be tidied, breaking it down as small as possible (e.g., shoes, bed, left side of the dressing table, right side of the dressing table, books, etc). I would then fold the strips of paper up and put them in a bag.
A bit like a lucky dip, I would pull them out one at a time and tidy whatever I had pulled out. Once that item was tidied, I’d pull out another one, not knowing what was going to come out. It made what was a dull task more exciting, as well as helped with the overwhelm of not knowing what to start on first.
Another childhood memory I recall is whilst at secondary school, being placed in the top maths set and asking to be moved down because I was struggling. I was moved down without any questions being asked or attempt to help me resolve what it was that I was struggling with. Having been moved down, I found it a bit too easy but did not let on. My good friends were in that maths set, and it was more fun.
Now I understand why
There are many other instances which, when I look back at, I now understand why. People always think I am very well organised, but I am not. I’m just good at making it look that way. My desk is often cluttered. I have 100s of screens open on my computer at a time (well maybe not quite one hundred). I have emails in my inbox going back a long time. I rarely delete text messages or WhatsApp messages and have conversations in these formats that go back years. I know some people would find this frustrating, but it works well for me.
I am a big picture person and don’t enjoy the finer detail. I am good at helping people who are stuck to come up with ideas and can see things from many different perspectives. There are many other strengths that I have which are probably associated with being dyslexic.
Because of my mistaken understanding of dyslexia, I would never previously have thought that I had it. I used to think that being dyslexic meant that words became jumbled whilst reading and spelling. The reality is, whilst this is the case for some, it is not the case for all, and everyone’s experience is different.
I loved reading and writing stories as a child. I relished going to the library, selecting books, then going home and immersing myself in them. I never had any problems with spelling and writing either. Although, my handwriting (if writing quickly) can be illegible, even to myself.
I prefer the term learning difference to learning difficulty
Dyslexia is described as being a Specific Learning Difficulty. However, I don’t like the term learning difficulty because I don’t see it as that. I prefer the term learning difference, as that is how I see it. I may have a way of learning that is different to the majority, which is all part of the uniqueness of what makes me who I am.
I have had mixed responses on sharing my news. Some people have expressed that they are sorry to hear. Some have congratulated and praised me for all my successes and achievements, despite being dyslexic and not knowing that I was. To those who have expressed that they are sorry, I’ve told them they do not need to be because I am pleased about it. It gives me an explanation as to why I am the way that I am.
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Having shared my experience, I have had a few people tell me that they can relate to it. This has got them wondering whether they too could be dyslexic, and I suspect there are many others with it who have not been diagnosed.
There is so much more for me to learn and understand about dyslexia, and as I uncover this learning, no doubt I will learn more about myself. However, I can confidently say that I am dyslexic and proud, just like I can say I that am Black and proud, and that I am introverted and proud. Something I wouldn’t have had the confidence to openly declare in my 20s and 30s.
If you have been diagnosed as having dyslexia as an adult, what has your experience been like? What have you learnt about yourself? I would love to know so please share below.
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Continuing with the 'If You Want that Promotion...' series, this episode of the Quietly Visible podcast is all about aligning yourself for what it is that you want. Research shows that extroverted employees receive more opportunities at work because their performance is more visible. Many introverted women don’t want to be in the spotlight, but a lot of what is required for your performance to be more visible, requires this. Click on the podcast link above to find out ways in which you can align yourself for your next leadership promotion.
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About Me
I am an Executive, Career and Leadership Coach specialising in introverted women who are senior leaders. I've been the featured expert in Women and Home Magazine, Good Housekeeping Magazine, the Telegraph, on BBC Radio 5 Live, named a LinkedIn Top Voice UK 5 times, and received awards for my work developing women leaders.
Through my work I have helped 1000s of women across the globe to increase their confidence, influence and impact as leaders, and overcome imposter syndrome, increase their executive presence, improve speaking performance in meetings, get a promotion, and much more.
My vision is that ALL women achieve their full potential and become influencers of positive change in their respective fields.
If you are an introverted woman and a senior leader and want to increase your confidence, influence and impact, take my free assessment and get a report identifying areas to develop. You can take the assessment?here.?
My book Quietly Visible: Leading with Influence and Impact as an Introverted Woman addresses many of the challenges that introverted women face as leaders and shows you how to overcome them. It was listed as one of the 10 best self-development books written by women to read during lockdown by BeYourOwn. You can get your copy?here?along with a FREE recording of my How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome workshop.
Founder-M H Coaching & Consultancy |Empowering Corporates & Individuals by cultivating courage & trauma-informed practices fostering a workplace free from toxic relationships|Transformative Trauma Recovery Coach
2 年Thank you for sharing Carol. Your story is so compelling. It’s highlighted just how misunderstood dyslexia is. It has me wondering about a few things too now…really insightful post xx
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2 年Thank you for sharing this inspiring story.
Business Growth Specialist | Social Media Marketing Expert - Build A Successful Online Coaching Bizz
2 年????
Research Statistical Models Knowledge Insights Analyst Strategy Marketing Communications
2 年I know this feeling. It’s really strange. Have not been able to reconcile the shortcomings/weakness/failures with the genius when these were overcome. Got my PHD at 55. Amazing!
Director Centry Health Education Kenetics
2 年I could relate to this . I was diagnosed at age 61 while pursuing a Postgraduate degree . This is after I have worked as a health care professional for over 30 years. I have also had spinal surgery in 2012 and I found it very challenging to type since. I am determined not to let the diagnosis define me as a person .Institutions should be able to work more meaningfully with individuals who have disabilities. I feel that it is even more challenging to study as a mature disabled student. For me the interventions were not timely. I struggle with statistics which is an integral part of my course .My feedback from my last academic tutor was negative. It focused on spelling which was never a problem as a midwife/nurse/health visitor. I also found it difficult to cope with the new labels as I was made to feel that I could not study at level 7 even though I have 140 credits at level 7! Even my qualifications as a nurse was questioned by one particular tutor at university . I have studied in the Caribbean and acquired all my professional training. The diagnosis has negatively affected my confidence in doing academic work.