The Week of Emptiness #3
This week was infuriating. Everywhere I looked, I felt anger. I saw age and its paradox. Age is supposed to bring maturity, isn't it? Instead of leaving the world in a better place when one makes space for the generation that comes after, everywhere I look, older people are hellbent on undoing so much of their hard work.
There's world leaders who are stuck in fantasies of a fetishized past. There's community and elected leaders who'd hoard tonnes of resources, wealth and opportunities. They'd rather push younger people into destitution than commit to help build the world that is a shared global dream. There's older family members at home who in spite of the best intentions ask for one thing alone - the ability to control your life.
I haven't processed what's happening in Ukraine. It was inevitable. Why the hell does it have to be inevitable? Have we as a society not learned anything? Why do we fall off cliffs for these bitter edgelords who'd see the world burn for some insanely personal aspirations? I am emotional and I am in my information phase. I use information to feel better. Everything I see, hear and read infuriates me more. I don't know what to do. So I cry...
I am attempting to process betrayal at home. I do not want to get married right now because I am not some chip to give to a disgusting matchmaker; their only requirement is 'two recent photographs.' I do not want to lie and pretend to be someone I am not. I will not do it. It hurts. I feel betrayed. I never protest against the sexism I face from extended family. I didn't protest when they took my choice and made me choose Science. I love science so I thrived. I didn't protest when instead of pursuing the STEM degree I wanted - a PhD in theoretical physics, they made me pick engineering. I went to St. Xaviers for a month before they dropped this Engineering grenade on my dream which turned into ashes. I never protest when just awful things are said to me because I want to keep the peace. With this though, I will. I have found my breaking point. I will not ruin my life and in the process ruin someone else's life as well. Do they not see how unhappy this makes me? Do they really think an unhappy woman will make a happy family? I want to cry. I don't. If families of daughters don't get over antiquated garbage of this sort, how can we accept much from the family that is pretty much arranging for a doll that breathes and serves? I wish I could cry about this but then I am in the rage phase...
On to LinkedIn, with what's been going on in Ukraine, I am pretty much posting things that might be remotely joyful. I lack the motivation and the discipline to write about anything business related because business isn't on my mind. What can I say that'll provide nuance about a highly charged situation - nothing. How can I go into business-as-usual mode? I don't know... I am empty.
Let's just start with my content consumption for the week. I have nothing about the war here because writing it down somehow dehumanised it. I am not ready for that yet. So, here you go. See what I consumed:
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On to the website, the show notes page is active now as well. Feel free to access it with or without a subscription.
I am also going to remove the paywall from a lot of my articles. I will share those links with the subscribers first but eventually, they'll find their way to my LinkedIn posts as well.
For now, I don't have much to offer.
...that about does it for the updates.
I hope you're doing well. I hope you are safe and healthy. I wish you so much happiness, gosh, I hope it all gets better soon.
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