This Week.....

Happy Friday my Criminal Justice System Colleagues!

We've made it again!! Another week in the bank, cases fought, hearings heard, colleagues supported, friends made, arguments argued and if you are anything like me - many snacks snacked!

I have had an interesting week and done a lot of learning. Some of it on a course and some of it in experiences.

I have to say that my Friday was made a whole lot better by a wonderful chat with some advocates, some of whom I have never met before, but I found myself sharing Burnley robing room with, after we had all finished our hearings.

We chatted about our families, our heritage and the future. Seems unlikely and looking back it was probably not what any of us were expecting but, we found ourselves, all from very different places, in the very same place in more ways than one.

We had all grown up in different parts of the Country, been through different educations and different jobs. We had taken very different routes to our current professional positions. We were three very different people. One from Scottish stock, one from Irish and one Pole (guess which I was!?).

As we chatted we realised that we were all dads of young children, we were all doing the same job more or less, we all had partners, homes, errands to run on the way home, and we were all looking forward to our evenings with our families.

We also realised we had very similar concerns for our families, for our children, we shared fears over our parenting and our own futures. It was lovely to talk and learn about other families and their plans and adventures. It was also interesting to see how beyond a few initial differences we all share an awful lot of similarities, the person who at first glance may be miles from you is probably going through very similar experiences to you and is probably happy to talk.

Talking things over and sharing is a great way of knowing you aren't alone in what is going on in your head, it can normalise the internal debates that can feel overwhelming. Knowing that others are having those same internal debates doesn't necessarily help you find answers, but it helps the thought process as it takes away the feeling of isolation.

Another lesson learned was along similar lines. That we don't know what is going on in the lives of others, and they don't know what is going on in ours unless we talk:

I was looking at the work I had coming up and was frustrated when I looked at a case and found that not as much work had been done as I would normally have expected. To my shame I was uncharacteristically grumpy about this. Please do not judge me - and let me assure you that I was not grumpy with the fee earner who had been working on the file. But I did have a whinge to a different colleague. Luckily that colleague is a very lovely person who allowed me to let off steam and then told me that the fee earner who's file was the cause of my grumble had been having a difficult time recently for a number of reasons.

It has been a while since I have felt so humbled and downright petulant. The file wasn't in a bad state, it just wasn't where I needed it to be, moreover I hadn't stopped to wonder why. Why had the fee earner not done the usual impeccable job?

I had bypassed all of that and gone straight to frustration. I felt like I let myself down, after all of my chat on here about helping out and offering support and my reaction had been the exact opposite. Lesson learned, we don't know what is going on in the lives of others. They may be simply rolling along with the same day to day tribulations as ourselves. Or, they may be hitting bumps in the road.

I messaged the fee earner, coffee and a chat will happen soon.

So the weekend is here, my youngest is back from a residential outdoorsy trip with school so there is much washing to be done and many hugs to be had - oh and a Saturday Court - anyone at Manchester Mags tomorrow, say hi!

Have a great weekend folks, rest, recharge and lets get back on it next week, together and perhaps with a degree more patience!

lots of love

Damian