Week in Cheek: business news that's nice and soft
“ I want us to be a truly global Britain--the best friend and neighbour to our European partners, but a country that reaches beyond the borders of Europe too.” ~ Theresa May
At Lancaster House, the same place where Margaret Thatcher gave her 1983 “Europe open for business” speech, British Prime Minister Theresa May announced this week that Britain is heading for a hard Brexit. Saying Europe is a best friend but Britain will shop around the world for other best friends, May decreed that she'd rather have no deal than a bad deal and that Britain is not above lowering corporate tax rates to attract business away from the EU if the EU refuses to play nice and soft. British tabloids, giddy with all the tough talk, gave Mrs May the title New Iron Lady.
It's no wonder that May chose the hard option because a soft Brexit would have given her the less appealing title Latex Lady.
Steven Munchkin was surprised to face angry scrutiny during his confirmation hearing as he deflected the title “foreclosure king” and tried to explain his use of tax shelters. He promised that as Treasury Secretary he would take a hard look at what's so great about the Cayman Islands.
But it was the Valium exchange that got all the attention...
What's with the thirteen nervous lip puckers?
There was a lighthearted moment at Rick Perry's Energy Secretary confirmation hearing when Mr Perry shared an intimate reflection with Al Franken...
It irradiates the heart to know that, if confirmed, Rick Perry will be in charge of the nuclear arsenal.
Quote of the Week:
“ It's kind of: 'I promise you a Rolls Royce and I give you a Honda.'”~ Matthew Granade of Point72 Asset Management explains why $106 billion was cashed out of hedge funds in 2016 that last year returned 4.5% when the S&P rose 13%
This week in Jamie Dimon, the JPMorgan boss was in Davos Switzerland for the World Economic Forum warning his fellow elites the “euro zone may not survive” the populism kindled by elites. Dimon also suggested that Donald Trump's anti-trade tweets are a negotiation tactic that “very serious people” in his administration will not take seriously. Back home in New York it was announced that Dimon's pay jumped to $28 million. Dimon owns 6.7 million shares of JPMorgan worth over half a billion dollars which would make him eligible to purchase this $250 million home.
“There is no way Jamie Dimon could have a bad day in this house.” ~ A realtor
Can a $250 million house with a four lane bowling alley (do billionaires bowl?) a $250,000 candy wall and a television measured in feet bring happiness? Hedonic adaptation says no.
Cheekily Briefly:
- It's good to see Bernie Madoff thriving in prison, cornering the Swiss Miss hot chocolate market and profiting from his fellow prisoners' cravings.
- Ambrosia is a start-up with a vampiric mission of restoring youth via youthful blood. Not to be outdone, Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos says she can do the same thing with a single drop of youthful blood.
- Alibaba paid a whopping $800 million to sponsor the next six Olympic Games, as well as all counterfeit versions of The Games.
- After 32 years Budweiser is ending its Olympic sponsorship after determining that nobody drinks beer while watching ribbon gymnastics and the only Olympic athlete people associate with alcohol is Ryan Lochte.
Finally, the Nasdaq and New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) are making spectacles of themselves trying to attract Snap to host its IPO on their exchange so that they can brag to all their friends and in the hope that Airbnb, Spotify and Uber might follow suit when they get around to their IPOs. Nasdaq took to the skies to get aerial footage of the New York skyline taken with Spectacles video-camera sunglasses and the NYSE quickly responded with Spectacles footage of its own taken on the trading floor. In the spirit of Snapchat, both exchanges promised to make money disappear shortly after Snap's listing.
Hope your weekend is spectacular!
Recommended Reading/Viewing
Boston Consulting Group gives us a glimpse of the office of the future and it's Big Brother biometric.
Can Snapchat's culture of secrecy survive an IPO?
Netflix is becoming synonymous with television.
The Founder opens this week, the story of McDonald's' Ray Kroc. There's gold in those arches and a golden performance by Michael Keaton.
A.I. Writer, researcher and curator - full-time Newsletter publication manager.
8 年Netflix is doing well, that original content. Hard Brexit, at least they aren't building a wall. Snap Inc. privacy, they have to be the way Facebook works. Instagram is on pace to dominate live streaming and their stories have metrics. Alibaba have some talent with events, Single's day taught us that much. I'm waiting for the day Sean Spicer appears on Week in Cheek. Great article.
Engineering Manager at Red Hawk Fire & Security
8 年Thanks Lynne, another funny and informative post. While Davos Man has astonishingly missed a clear message, many others are getting it. According to Ian Bremmer, “Elites won’t be able to manage populism until they stop seeing it as a threat and start seeing it as a symptom.” The elites also need to listen to Jamie Dimon - “What went wrong is going wrong for everybody” and if the concerns are not addressed, the “euro zone may not survive.” And your headline stars Trump and May laid it out in remarkably similar terms this week. Trump - “At the center of this movement is a crucial conviction: that a nation exists to serve its citizens.” “The establishment protected itself, but not the citizens of our country…And while they celebrated in our nation's capital, there was little to celebrate for struggling families all across our land.” May - “But we must never forget that our first responsibility as governments it to serve the people.” “And in their minds, it means watching as those who prosper seem to play by a different set of rules, while for many life remains a struggle as they get by, but don’t necessarily get on.”
Operations Manager at Durga Crane Service - India
8 年https://TheInviteClub.com/?ref=69439
Healthcare/medical writer, award winning author, lover of vintage ads.
8 年"It irradiates the heart to know that, if confirmed, Rick Perry will be in charge of the nuclear arsenal." Scary indeed. Hoping the American military has the prescience to give them the wrong access codes.