Week 52: So Damn Lonely

52 weeks ago I started out on the journey of writing about meaningful connections. Whether you’ve been here week after week or you are stumbling upon this for the first time today, I have a personal and powerful message to bring the series to a close.

Midway through the series, I had a wake up call. I was thinking about why I was writing this. The why hit me hard. It was unexpected. I wrote it down. I read the message aloud to myself in the mirror. I submitted the idea for 2 different TEDx talks. After receiving 2 rejection notices, I decided I wasn’t waiting for a stage to share the message. I’ll share it right here.

You could call it the conclusion to 52 Weeks of Meaningful Connections, or perhaps it’s the beginning. Let’s roll the film and you decide for yourself…

Full Script:

We are conditioned from an early age to make small talk. We do it on the playground in elementary school to make friends. It happens in high school as a way to fit in. In college, small talk helps us break the ice with our assigned roommate. It follows us into the workforce.?

I’m done with small talk. Because I’m so damn lonely.?

I have more Facebook friends and LinkedIn connections than I can count. I belong to the moms group in my community and I am a leader in my company.?

Then why am I so damn lonely??

I grew up in a small town. A village, actually.?

Because of this, everyone knew everything about everyone else. So small talk wasn’t necessary. I already knew where people lived and where their parents worked and what sport they played. I was born and raised ready to go a level deeper. But as I ventured out into the big world, other people haven’t always been so ready.?

As a young adult I shared my passionate views with a group of friends. They looked at me like I was an alien wondering why I had to have an opinion at all.?

In the corporate world, I dared to be bold with my viewpoints only to receive stern looks from senior leaders that suggested “you’re entering dangerous territory”.?

And somewhere along the way life became more about likes comments and shares than it did about actual connection.?

It’s no wonder I gave up.

It’s no wonder I’m so damn lonely.

It’s no wonder that I’m on a mission. I want us to connect. Meaningfully.

I’m tired of small talk. I’m tired of watering down my opinion. I’m tired of being so damn lonely.?

Loneliness can kill us. Living with air pollution increases your odds of dying early by 5%, obesity = 20%, excessive drinking = 30%. Living with loneliness increases our odds of dying early by 45%.*

My challenge is for each of us to get past the small talk and get to know one another. Even if we don’t agree. Even if we don’t think we have anything in common. Even if it gets uncomfortable.

What could your life look like a year from now if you were intentional about making meaningful connections?

I’m ready to find out. Because I’m done being so damn lonely.

I authored the original 52 Weeks of Meaningful Connections in 2018. Despite the variety of ways we are able to connect, we are lonelier now than ever. This motivated me to re-visit the entire series. In some cases, the 2018 version will stand. In others, it will be updated to reflect the reality of our new world. Don’t miss what’s coming next week and subscribe now.