Week 40: How building connections is like eating a cookie

Why am I making a cookie reference? Perhaps I would like a cookie. What’s there not to love about a cookie???

Here’s why: I was speaking with a friend who was in the planning stages of opening a home-based cookie operation when I originally wrote this series in 2018. We were talking about the mechanics of building the business, determining margins, forming distribution partnerships, and other elements of the start-up. (Clearly, I wanted to see these cookies on a shelf near me!) I told her that it’s not unusual for people (read: me) to pay $2-3 for a great cookie, but if you offer them a dozen for $25, they might say “hard pass.”

We considered that people eat cookies one at a time, so selling cookies at a higher margin one at a time is a good option.?

That’s how I like to think about forming connections. One at a time.?

As a speaker, I’m often in front of large groups. I love the adrenaline rush this provides, as well as the ability to spread a message to a larger group of people at once. What’s the most satisfying about these engagements though, is the 1:1 interaction that occurs before and after the presentation. I love hanging around afterward, usually pretending to clean up, when what I’m really doing is inviting inquisitive audience members to chat. (Let me know if you have mastered how to do this after virtual presentations!)

Because connections are made one at a time.?

Typically, from an audience of 100, I will engage in meaningful dialogue with 4-5 people. You might be thinking, that’s a pretty low number - only 4 to 5??

But let’s remember the cookie principle. One at a time. After eating the 4th or 5th cookie, I start to forget what I’m tasting and might even feel a bit nauseous. After meeting more than 5 people, my memory starts to get cloudy and I can’t engage as meaningfully as I want. This is why I get overwhelmed in large networking events and noisy hotel ballrooms. (Remember the freak out I documented from Week 16?)

The cookie principle also reminds me to slow down when it comes to building connections. In the time I sat on my friend’s front porch to chat about her business, I could have connected with a dozen people on LinkedIn, posted new content on all social media platforms, and responded to my unread email. But hands down, the connection that was formed in my 1:1 conversation was more meaningful that any of those other actions. And it might score me some sample cookies down the road!?

What can you do to slow down in order to build more meaningful connections?

How do you find ways to connect one person at a time???

About that cookie company - it’s been up and running for over 2 years! Check out Baked Better founded by my friend Stephanie Nowak.?

I authored the original 52 Weeks of Meaningful Connections in 2018. Despite the variety of ways we are able to connect, we are lonelier now than ever. This motivated me to re-visit the entire series. In some cases, the 2018 version will stand. In others, it will be updated to reflect the reality of our new world. Don’t miss what’s coming next week and subscribe now.