Week 23.47 The Hard Side of Easy

I am learning how to dance West Coast Swing. On first inspection, it seemed enjoyable and didn't look too complicated. I know trying new things is good, and dance is a great way to challenge myself. But now just three lessons in, I can tell you—it's tough. We have an excellent dance instructor, Sophie, who is from Paris and is really lovely. From the start, what was apparent to me is that there are many things that someone who dances takes for granted–a type of physical awareness and movement that I find bewildering. For example, when we walk, our foot lifts off the ground and finds itself ahead of us as we put our weight on it. Then we do that again; once we’ve learned to walk, it’s natural and intuitive. In dance, it’s all that and more; I’m suddenly hyper-aware of my feet, ankles, knees, hips, toes, and heels in the event. And I’m trying to do it in time to music and coordination with a partner. It's a lot to think about, and despite Sophie’s continual encouragement, I cannot just do it! I am fortunate that many things come easy, but this kind of dance certainly does not. It is helping me understand and find empathy when others find it hard to understand what is simple for me.

We each have strengths and weaknesses, natural talents, and unnatural blind spots. When something comes easy, it is a joy. When I was in London a few weeks ago we went to dinner at The Ned, and they had a swing band playing while many people danced. The musicians played without effort, and the lead singer's voice took her wherever she wanted. The dancers twirled and jumped and moved with ease. It was a joy to watch. Other people can calculate algorithms in their heads. My friend Stephen O'Shea is a writer who puts words together with such grace that people naturally want to quote them. Dancing has exposed me to the hard side of easy–-to feel what is difficult that others find easy. No matter the task, I am more aware of what that feels like and how to be more sympathetic.?

Sophie has incredible patience while I’m learning. She is a great teacher. And especially at the beginning, she knew too much. She showed me how to do a three-step or a right-side pass, and for the first time, I was overwhelmed. There are so many details to be aware of, and she makes it seem so easy and graceful. Counting the beat, moving my feet in count, keeping my arms at a certain height–I could go on. We persevere and break it down into smaller pieces. We focus on the count until it feels more natural, then we work on the footwork. I am beginning to understand that when I find something simple, it is too easy for me to rush by some of the ideas and details that others? need in order to understand. When we know something, it is our job to bring others along, not for them to keep up. This is especially true for leaders.

A month into dance lessons, it's starting to come together. This past weekend, I began to feel the count instead of saying the count. My feet (and ankles, knees, and hips) are starting to move more naturally with the music, and not because I am forcing them to move. We are stringing moves together–right pass, left pass, sugar push–in a way that is beginning to resemble a dance. It's not there yet, but it is something to build on. As leaders, we must apply the same process–we build a basic understanding of ideas and then add some complexity. Of course, for those with fluency, it is easy to jump to the advanced lessons; and when we do, we risk leaving everyone else behind.?

In life and leadership, it is hard to remember that what comes easy for us may not come easy for everyone. Writing, speaking, creativity, or spatial awareness come quickly for us, and it is rarely the case for everyone. And this shapes our perspectives and points of view as well. Our job as leaders is to set the vision and elevate those we support. Everyone may not understand our vision or how to execute it at first. Our job is to bring them along and help them embody our ideas patiently. Sometimes, we do that by giving them the tools to make it their own. Other times, we can accomplish it by giving them the support and time they need. As I have begun to turn the corner in learning to dance, I am still aware of how hard it is to learn something new, and am more understanding when those I love and lead are on the hard side of easy?

6 Must Read Books For This Fall by Alisa Cohn

As you plan your sprint to the end of the year, don’t forget to schedule in time for reading. Reading is the best way to get perspective, expose yourself to new ideas, and learn new skills.

Here are 6 must-read books for the fall: Limitless Expanded Edition: Upgrade Your Brain, Learn Anything Faster, and Unlock Your Exceptional Life, by @Jim Kwik, Becoming Coachable: Unleashing the Power of Executive Coaching to Transform Your Leadership and Life, by Scott Osman, Jacquelyn Lane , and Marshall Goldsmith , Reunion: Leadership and the Longing to Belong, by Jerry Colonna , In Her Own Voice: A Woman’s Rise to CEO: Overcoming Hurdles to Change the Face of Leadership, by @Jennifer McCollum, Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments Into Extraordinary Results, by Shane Parrish , and The Unlocked Leader: Dare to Free Your Own Voice, Lead with Empathy, and Shine Your Light in the World, by Hortense le Gentil .

When you invest in reading, you invest in yourself. These books will help you think differently and, in doing so, give you a better perspective on how you lead. The job is tough enough. These smart half dozen volumes will help. (thank you Alisa)

To Solve Big Problems, Make Everyone Feel Included in Your Mission by Rajiv J. Shah

No matter their rank, teammates want to believe that what they do, day in and day out, matters. Yet meaning can be incredibly hard to find. Every job has its good days and bad, its high points and low, its crowning achievements and mundane expense reports. Drudgery can fill too many days, while inspiration can fill too few.

It’s human nature to want to spend our days working on something more than a paycheck, and the best leaders find ways to connect their teammates’ work to something bigger. That starts by making everyone feel included in the mission. If your team feels connected to the mission, then making big bets and solving big problems will always be within your reach. In this article, the author discusses how several prominent leaders instilled their teams with a sense of the organization’s larger purpose, and how you can do the same.

5 Tips for Buying Holiday Gifts for Clients by @John Ruhlin and Dorie Clark

As the holidays approach, it’s natural to think about giving gifts to your clients. After all, studies have shown that driving emotional engagement with customers — and well-chosen gifts can certainly play a part — could add as much as 5% to a company’s revenue.

Strategic and thoughtful gift-giving can help ensure your clients feel seen and appreciated. In this article, the authors outline five tips to consider when choosing what to buy this holiday season: 1) Don’t assume expensive gifts are the best. 2) Individualize when possible. 3) Focus on the practical and useful. 4) Make sure it’s a gift, not advertising. 5) Don’t “compete” around the end of the year.

With love, gratitude and wonder.

Scott