Week 23.24 Power of Presence

The signs are everywhere - people crave connection. I am watching so many of my friends make it a point to get out and interact with people in person. My friend Dean Miles, MA - Executive Coach makes it a point to spend time onsite with his clients, sometimes a week at a time. Mark C. Thompson makes sure that he meets prospective clients in person so he can be sure they have the right chemistry. Lily Osman is farming because she wants to be more present with nature, a team of people working together, and customers who come to the farm stand. And last week, I went to #nashville for the weekend to visit friends and colleagues. Just the act of being present created the opportunity for wonderful interactions, advancing efforts and thickening relationships that were already deep. The power of being present is all around.?

During the pandemic, many of us learned the value of being virtually available. Online video became a lifeline of connection and community. We learned that we could be regularly connected with distributed teams in ways that we never imagined. With the return to the office there is the temptation to think that "hybrid workplace" means "office optional." My experience has been that working together has more value than ever. I don't deny that the ability to work via video call has its advantages, but being present adds literal and figurative dimensions that video will never have. When we are in a room with someone else, we fill the space and time differently, conversations drift and cues are sent and picked up.?

Some days I am on back-to-back calls and am depleted by the end. I miss the subtle nuances of face-to-face communication and the energy created by sharing physical space with others. Staring at the screen with few interludes and even less downtime takes its toll. Today water-cooler conversations have morphed into Slack channels, where offhand comments and unplanned banter have been replaced with calculated, timed meetings. I yearn for the days of spontaneous encounters and random collisions of creativity when we used to take breaks and walk around an office and idly chat with other people and hear what they were up to. Or when I used to go out for lunch and discuss ideas in a different setting. Changing venues, varied situations, and having unscheduled conversations seem like a distant memory in the metaverse. Of late, I’ve enjoyed getting the team together to share time and physical space. It’s a pleasure to be present in an environment brimming with life, to have the sheer joy of working alongside others in a shared space.?

Presence creates serendipity. A few days ago I saw my friend mort aaronson 's son, Jesse Aaronson,?sitting at a table at the Tony Awards with his fellow castmates for the Broadway play they are in, Leopoldstadt, which won best play. The way that Jesse found his way into the cast is a great story. Jesse took a job as a reader while the casting director was auditioning actors for the other roles. He was not auditioning, he was reading. But by being present for the reading, he met the playwright and the director. And because he showed up fully and read his lines with heart, they saw his presence and experienced the ways in which he enabled other actors to be better. The power of his presence created the opportunity of a lifetime, his breakout role on Broadway for a Tony award-winning play. Bravo!

In life and leadership, there is exceptional value in showing up. Showing up involves more than just physical attendance, it's about bringing the full weight of your attention, energy, and authenticity to each moment. It’s the difference between merely occupying a role and truly embodying it. It’s a demonstration that we're not only invested in the results, but also in the journey and in the people with whom we are traveling. As we navigate through this new era of hybrid living, leaders are called upon to bridge the digital divide and foster a sense of unity and connection. The power of our presence has never been stronger or more effective. The scarcity of being together that we felt in the recent past has resulted in the premium of personal connection. As leaders, we have the prospect of tapping into the power of deep engagement, fostering a culture where quality of attention trumps quantity of tasks. Ultimately, our consistent, focused presence can serve as a beacon of stability and empathy in a rapidly changing world, empowering those we love and lead to show up fully as well.?

Thawing Out the Frozen Middle by Ruth Gotian, Ed.D., M.S. Gotian

There is an entire segment of the workforce who wants to succeed, but doesn’t really know how. We’ve identified them as high potentials, but are we giving them the resources they need to succeed? I call these people the frozen middle. There are things we say and do that have us performing below full potential.?

In fact, subconsciously we might be steered toward aiming for average. Consider how often you hear the words benchmark, mean scores, class average and industry standards — all words and phrases that have us striving for average. Even performance appraisals score employees based on if they fall above or below the mean. But high productivity and innovation don’t come from aiming for the mean. Staying on course keeps us moving ahead, but doesn’t make us a pioneer or industry leader. What if we made average the floor, not the ceiling??

People want to succeed. But too often, we are doing random things and wondering why we, personally and as an organization, are not moving ahead at the pace we would like. There is a lack of understanding and dialogue about how to improve our success effectively. By gleaning lessons from some of the most accomplished people of our generation, we can ensure that becoming average is not our end goal. Together, we can defrost the frozen middle.

Empowered Refusal: A Powerful Way to Say No by Whitney Johnson

Because we can’t do it all, saying no is important. It helps protect your time so you can focus on what truly matters. That’s why I’ve identified focus as one of the top three needs of individuals when they are at the Sweet Spot on their S Curve?—the phase of a growth curve where you start to know what you are doing, and you can move through opportunities and challenges with confidence. What does empowered refusal look like? What should you do next time you need to say no??

First reflect on why you want to say no to you in the first place. There has to be a reason that you believe strongly. Second, have personal policies, or rules, in place that provides you with the infrastructure to say no. Once you’ve done these two things, you can connect with the person asking so that they understand your no. And, when you speak from a place of personal power, people are more likely to respond favorably to you. Saying no can be challenging, but when we understand the why behind our no, we can find the focus necessary to continue our climb up our S Curve—to grow ourselves.?

The Leadership Odyssey by Herminia Ibarra , Claudius A. Hildebrand , and Sabine Vinck

A paradox of business is that while leaders often employ a hands-on, directive style to rise to the top, once they arrive, they’re supposed to empower and enable their teams. Suddenly, they’re expected to demonstrate “people skills.” And many find it challenging to adapt to that reality.

To understand how leaders can successfully make this shift, the authors studied 75 CEO successions, involving 235 candidates. They discovered that the transformation is not a single event but unfolds over time and takes many twists and turns. It’s a long journey with three stages: the departure, during which leaders recognize the need to change and leave behind their old ways of working; the voyage, during which they encounter obstacles and trials that teach them important lessons; and the return, when they arrive at a new understanding of what kind of leader they need to be.

Completing this odyssey requires humility, self-awareness, and resilience. Several key practices will help executives along the way: understanding the extent of the change required, creating new contexts for learning, enlisting the help of advisers, learning from setbacks, and tapping the power of small wins.

With love, gratitude and wonder. Scott