Week 23.14 Everyday Exodus
Scott Osman
CEO @ 100 Coaches | Co-Author WSJ bestseller Becoming Coachable, named to Coaches50 by Thinkers50
The Exodus from Egypt is one of the fundamental stories of Western civilization. It is also a wonderful analogy for one of the fundamental tenets of the human condition - most of us resist letting go of what we know. Try as we may to hang on; change will happen. Sometimes it comes as an unexpected loss or an unanticipated win. Some change is abrupt like the hurricane this is not supposed to happen. Other change is slow and inevitable like children growing up and leaving home. No one stays the same age; the world always changes, and seasons come and seasons go. We can try to resist the uncomfortable unknown and let change happen on its own terms, or we can embrace change by applying the teaching of the exodus and lead ourselves to the promised land. The story tells us we must leave the familiar, journey into the unknown, and believe in the promised land.?
The first stage in any exodus is recognizing what needs to change. It’s better not to underestimate the difficulty of this key first step. Few situations are so bad that they feel they are worth the effort to change. People stay for years in jobs, relationships, and situations that are not serving them because they’re too comfortable or feel they have no choice. As the saying goes, the devil we know seems better than the devil we don’t. Nearly every change or innovation is born out of some dissatisfaction or desire for more. A key first step is to allow ourselves to feel dissatisfaction, determine what we want to change, and dream of more.?Focus on your motivations for change. What do you want to leave, and where do you want to end up? When the moment to leave comes, it may be abrupt, so be prepared. Carry as little baggage with you as possible. Leaving can be like an escape, and traveling light will help you move swiftly.
The second stage of the exodus is the liminal space of wandering in the unknown. I have previously written that I enjoy the lightness of transition (Week 22.40 In Transition) and I recognize that not everyone feels the same way. In the early days of wandering it can be tempting to want to turn back. it is good to recall that while you have not yet reached the promised land, you have been liberated from what was holding you back. Celebrate the liberation even while you are still in the journey. Recognize the value of this intermediate phase, where your faith and resolve will be tested. You are still close enough to where you were to see it and understand it. You may look back, but don’t turn back; instead, recall the accomplishment of leaving what needed changing. And in the next moment, turn and look out to the horizon and imagine where you are going. This is a precious time for stretching your imagination and expanding your sense of what is possible. When you were being held back, you hoped for something better; from the open space of wandering, you can imagine something even more expansive.??
The final stage of the exodus is believing that you can overcome the obstacles that stand between you and the promised land. Remember the story of Caleb and Joshua, the only two who believed they could overcome giants. They were rewarded by being the only ones of the original departees who completed the journey. Obstacles are going to arise and appear to block the way of change. To complete the exodus, it is critical to see these as normal elements. Recall that in your life you have overcome all the obstacles in order to be where you are today. Whether you go around them or through them, they will become part of your story, teach you valuable lessons, and redirect where necessary, but should never block your way. Progress is one of the most fundamental qualities of the human condition. If you believe that this change is a necessary part of your journey, you will find a way to get to your destination. It might not be where you thought you would end up, but you will have moved on and started to inhabit the new land.?
It is trite and true that in life and leadership, the only certain thing is change. You may be thinking about climate change, getting older (at any age), the effects of artificial intelligence, or simply wondering what the next year will bring. Many sit in Egypt and wish for change to appear spontaneously. As a leader, you need to imagine a future promised land, find the courage to leave where you are, and journey into the unknown. Embrace the discomfort of growth and change. You have the ability to choose your exodus and set the vision for those you lead and love. Following this simple and timeless structure will give you the support you need to find the courage to make the exodus you need to find your promised land. I’ll bet it’s more than you ever imagined.
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A question I often get from my clients is, "How do I get my employees to speak up?" They ask their teams to share their opinions and speak their minds, but they are most often met with silence. What's going on? The answer is nuanced and, more often than not, much more complex than, "They have nothing to say." Speaking up can feel vulnerable and daunting, and the reasons people don't do it can range from cultural differences to corporate cultures that discourage dissenting opinions.?If you ask for input and are met with silence, don't assume your employees have nothing to say. Reflect on the forces that could be at play, whether cultural differences, technical barriers, or lack of psychological safety, and start making changes that will invite more voices to speak up.?
A host of provocative studies have suggested that we can be primed to behave a certain way when exposed to relevant cues. For example: researchers found that while people were wearing a lab coat - a type of clothing often associated with smart scientists - they scored better on analytical tests. Another team found that after being asked to hold a warm drink, people apparently viewed others more warmly. After seeing a picture of a library, people spoke more softly. When typically French music was played in a supermarket (édith Piaf accompanied by an accordion, perhaps), shoppers bought more French wine. And so on. We can be smarter about knowing what associations we personally have with our most productive or upbeat states of mind - and we can be more deliberate about surrounding ourselves with triggers that might nudge us back towards those states of mind. Maybe there's a window seat where you once did great work - so, sure, why not seek out that seat the next time you want to be on your game? It's not going to guarantee brilliance, but at the margin it might just help. Perhaps clearing your desk really does help to clear your head. And your "lucky underpants"? Well, as long as they remind your brain of a time when you got lucky, maybe they will make you more confident in your next interview.
Design the Parenting You Love? by Ayse (Eye-Shay) Birsel , Benjamin Maxwell, M.D. and Dean Miles, MA - Executive Coach
Dear Parents,?We are excited to invite you to our two-part online event, Design the Parenting You Love?, on April 29th and May 6th.?Whether you are a parent-to-be, a new parent, or a seasoned parent of toddlers or teens, this program will help you think creatively and develop a positive mindset as you navigate parenting challenges. During our interactive session on April 29th, you will deconstruct your parenting journey to understand your values and role models and your positive and negative emotions, challenges, and opportunities. You will also learn a design thinking process to apply to parenting and family life. We look forward to seeing you at the event. Sincerely, Ayse Birsel, Ben Maxwell, Dean Miles To find out more - please check out Event Bright here
With love, wonder, and gratitude. Scott
Founder | Business Entrepreneur | Virtual Chief of Staff | Strategic Business Partner Executive/Personal Assistant | Mindful & Conscious Leadership | Mentor | Online Business Manager | LinkedIn Open Networker | LION
1 年Thank you Scott Osman and Marshall Goldsmith
Fractional CHRO + Leadership Executive Coach trusted by Fortune 500, Tech and SMBs | I build People Ops (fka HR) functions well-aligned with biz goals via talent, systems and process. GTM + M&A Strategy for HR Techs.
1 年Happy and healthy Passover from Israel to you and your family, Scott!
Author of #OptimalOutcomes, Founder & CEO, TEDx + Keynote Speaker, Executive Coach, Adjunct Professor
1 年Wishing you a very happy Passover and time of fantastic exoduses and renewals too Scott Osman !