Week 23.07 Don’t Curse Leaders

This past weekend I had the pleasure and luxury of gathering with a group of close friends for 24 hours of celebration, singing, dancing, good food, and - from time to time - a little contemplation. My dear friend Angie led an impromptu discussion about whether we should curse our leaders. In our politically polarized world, cursing leaders is now so common that we hardly question it. Civility is something of the past. Thinking beyond political leaders into the world of leadership, we can all recognize times that we have cursed a leader we disagree with, who fires people without caring, or who we believe is simply incompetent. Upon reflection, cursing a leader is not the way to reach our fullness as individuals, teams, or societies. Here's my thinking; I am curious to hear yours.

Cursing, tearing others down, is the easy way out. It is simple to call someone stupid or incompetent, to howl at the moon or growl at the ground. But cursing does not achieve anything productive except temporary relief or a feeling of superiority. If we care enough about a leader or situation to curse, we should care enough to do something that creates real change. And if we cannot create change in this situation, we can direct that energy to create change in another. Energetically, cursing depletes us and those around us, making us weaker and less able to accomplish what we care about. By avoiding the temptation to curse, we will find more productive and positive uses for our frustration and channel it into effecting change rather than diminishing power.

Whether or not we agree with our leader, we need our leaders to be at their best, not cursed. Some would argue that if a leader leads in the wrong direction, it makes sense to undermine their progress. But I’m not sure this is really the case. Our words have great power; our cursing may incite others to violence which is rarely productive. As the saying goes, everyone gets burned if you fight fire with fire. In almost any situation, there are usually at least two sides, two parties, and two opinions. If we address the circumstances of being the minority by trying to undermine the majority, eventually, we will find stagnation, not progress. By cursing our leaders, we curse ourselves, our systems, and our organizations.?

Cursing might tear down and undermine another, but that does not mean it elevates us. Instead, let’s lift one another up, and we will raise all boats. Ultimately, we must find ways to build up our leaders, not take them down. Of course, we want to support the leaders we agree with. The actual test is how we treat the leaders we disagree with. Can we respect our leaders' authority and office even when we disagree? Can we find a way to help them and nudge them in a more favorable direction? Can we find a way to communicate better so that they understand more? Can we open their eyes to new possibilities they may have overlooked? By committing to support all leaders - not simply the ones we agree with - over time, we create a more robust, more stable system to benefit all.?

In life and leadership, it is often too easy to find fault in our leaders and curse them out or try to take them down. This is the lazy way out, which tempts us to believe we are furthering our cause by harming another. Building bridges is hard work, but that’s what great leaders do. The same is true of followers, who should also consider improving leaders by praising and encouraging them, not cursing them. As for leaders, it is incumbent on us to become worthy of praise and to support the growth of those who would prefer to curse us. We will find the strength to rise together and reach our fullest potential by overcoming the opposition's desire to curse.

Talking About the Hard Stuff by Sally Helgesen

If you are a leader or aspire to leadership, you know how important it is to avoid being typecast.?For people outside the traditional power mainstream— in many cultures, women and people of color— this can be especially hard as we are subjected to the double bind of being “damned if you do, damned if you don’t.” For example:

• ?You’re viewed as lacking impact and leadership potential if you don’t speak up strongly and clearly… but you’re deemed overbearing if you do.?
• You’re judged as hyper-political if you try to build relationships that enhance your access and build your position…but you’re dismissed as “not a player” if you don’t.
• You’re seen as out for yourself if you talk up your individual contributions…yet if you don’t, you’re overlooked when it comes time for promotions because people aren’t aware of what you’ve accomplished.?

Research confirms that the double bind is pervasive. Read the full article here

Why Bring Your Team Together? by Whitney Johnson

Last week, the Disruption Advisors team convened in the mountains of Colorado for a team offsite—our term for a company retreat. If we are being honest, there was a point in my leadership journey when I didn’t see the need to bring together our remote team. We were effective and efficient with our work and developed strong interpersonal relationships despite many of us never having met each other in person.

In short, it was worth it! It was worth the money, the time, the flights, and the drives. We moved the business forward. We discussed where we want and need to go as a company as well as what we can expect of one another over the next three months. We bonded. We developed a common language and memories, realizing we don’t just want to work with our colleagues, but we want to grow with them as well.

Could we have done this all through a series of virtual meetings? Maybe. And if getting the majority of the team together in person wasn’t viable for one reason or another, we would’ve tried our best to make it work virtually. But, there is something uniquely impactful about getting out of your day-to-day setting –– about going off-site and in person.

4 Unexpected Ways That Partnering With A Corporation Could Help Your Startup by 鲍威尔

Entrepreneurs and corporations often find themselves pitted against each other in the popular consciousness. Entrepreneurs are heralded as disruptors to the status quo, seizing opportunities nimbly from slow-moving corporations. Meanwhile, companies are positioned as behemoths ready to use influence, funding, and brand recognition to hold on to customers at any cost. Despite these outdated stereotypes remaining pervasive, a bigger truth remains: Entrepreneurs and companies need each other to survive. In fact, startup founders frequently discover that establishing partnerships with corporations is a wise maneuver, especially at a time when the startup capital stream is slowing down. Living up to the romantic ideals of the scrappy entrepreneur who “goes it alone” can be tough. It also can be foolhardy when venture capital is running dry. Consider helping your startup in a unique way by working with a large company. You might be surprised to find just how beneficial a partnership can be for everyone involved.

With love, gratitude and wonder. Scott