Week 22.39 THE S CURVE OF COACHING

This past week I had a conversation with my good friend Whitney Johnson . Whitney is one of the world's leading experts on growth and has developed and deployed a model based on the idea of an S Curve. The concept of the S Curve is this: when one begins a new role or learns a new skill, it is essential to be prepared for the effort required to get going at the foot of the curve. This is often a sluggish and challenging time - effort is high and progress is slow. Then as you get into the work, the slope of the curve is exhilarating as one progresses quickly. At the top of the curve is mastery - but be warned, this is also where boredom can set in if a new curve is not readied. I have written about this research several times and used the S Curve model in various situations, so I was curious to focus on the foot of the curve and how it applies to getting ready for coaching. I've been researching what makes some leaders prepared for coaching and others not. In other words, how can we help executives become more coachable to get more out of the coaching relationship?

In thinking about the S Curves of Coaching, we quickly realized that the first S Curve to work on is the S Curve of yourself. The early weeks of coaching are a process of discovery, of understanding what you think about yourself and what others think of you. It is a process of discovery that begins with what you think you want. As many coaches will acknowledge, what an executive thinks he wants and what he eventually discovers he needs are often different things. Self-awareness is helpful but not a requirement. A good coach will help you understand yourself better and see blind spots quickly. Willingness is mandatory and will be tested. It is easy to be a willing participant in the coaching process, but during the foot of the S Curve, when the hard work of change is revealed, leader willingness is often tested.

Whitney pointed out that we usually have several S Curves that we are working on at any time. Another key S Curve of Coaching is the S Curve of your past. In preparing to become coachable, it is valuable to consider what issues from the past are holding you back and limitations that you believe you have but haven't been tested. It is common to find executives with self-limiting beliefs unnecessarily narrow their options. Perhaps some decisions appear to have led down a road assuming there is no turning back. Or maybe it is a success that was more luck and created the presumption of skill, leading down some dangerous alleys. In many cases, clearing out the perception of the past and being open to a relationship that serves the present situation is a great way to prepare for coaching and to get more from a coaching relationship.

An important S Curve of Coaching is relationships. As we prepare for coaching, understanding that this is a journey we are taking together with others is critical. To be ready for coaching, the executive must accept that this will include work with peers, reports, bosses, and family. What is true for the S Curves of individual growth is especially true for relationships. The foot of the curve can be slow going as we invest in relationships and build trust. The exciting part comes when trust is established, and the relationship becomes more solid. And when the relationship hits maturity, we must find new curves to keep them vigorous.

Great leaders see the S Curves of Coaching as an opportunity to build more value by strengthening all relationships. In life and leadership, few things are done alone. No journeys are traveled without people's support in the present or the past. Getting ready for coaching by checking your willingness for change, exploring your relationship with the past, and including your relationships with others in your journey will make the coaching experience more rewarding. By setting the proper foundations, the executive will be rewarded with rapid gains as they hit the slope of the S Curve of Coaching.

You Can Laugh at Work by Jacquelyn Lane

If you have not already read this post , I encourage you to check it out. It is bright, witty, honest and on target. Here is a sample: Today,?I’m proud to be doing work that’s deeply aligned with my purpose, building a company I love, and working with my heroes and best friends. And guess what? I laugh - and I mean belly laugh - at work every day. There’s such a joy in being my fullest self.?That’s not to say that we need to enjoy every second of the work we do - we all have tasks we enjoy less than others or need to have a hard conversation every now and again. But, to me, finding those moments of joy, laughter, and fun in each day is like rocket fuel for the soul.?Everyone who knows Jacquelyn knows this is true for her - what is making this go viral is that we all need to be reminded (and perhaps need permission) that when we bring laughter to work we elevate and amplify ourselves and those around us. Please read it here

Why doesn’t success bring happiness? | Laura Gassner Otting | TEDxReno

Each time we succeed, we also envision and hunger for a potential that we never knew existed. It’s amazing; it’s exciting; it’s energizing; it’s wonderful. But it’s also anxiety-provoking, identity-shaking, and exhausting; it’s hell. Based on a two-decade career in executive search interviewing thousands of the most successful people in the world, Laura Gassner Otting explains why success doesn’t bring happiness and how to take advantage of the “wonderhell” that it presents instead. Laura Gassner Otting has spent 25 years studying leaders and stewarding them through massive moments of career and life shift, whether as a political appointee in Bill Clinton’s White House, the founder and president of an international executive search firm, or in her current role as an author and keynote speaker. Her last book “Limitless: How to Ignore Everybody, Carve Your Own Path, and Live Your Best Life”

3 Strategies to Disrupt Yourself for Greater Success in Changing Times by Ayse (Eye-Shay) Birsel

Here are three strategies you can use to disrupt yourself for greater success in changing times, based on lessons I have learned from older people who designed their lives.?1) One of the advantages of living long is learning to love yourself and having a loving relationship not only with others but with yourself. Our research showed us that love transforms from selfless love, where we give ourselves to another person, to self-love, where we start to practice self-compassion and preservation, somewhere in mid-life. 2) Helping others helps you find meaning through difficult times, just like what older people had taught us during our research. 3) Start something by giving yourself permission to do something that gives you joy. Older people have no patience for doing things they don’t like and plenty of hunger for doing what they love. They know time is precious and not infinite, something the Pandemic brought home for many of us regardless of age. This is from Ayse's new book Design the Long Life You Love: A Step-by-Step Guide to Love, Purpose, Well-Being, and Friendship

With love and gratitude, Scott