Week 22.38 Status

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of seeing Nashville through the eyes of a new Nashville resident who is thoroughly enamored with the city and is a great and enthusiastic storyteller. We began our 36-hour adventure at Martin's BBQ and then went to the famous Station Inn for bluegrass music and an assortment of establishments on Broadway to listen to bands striving to break into the music scene. It was humbling to witness their passion and pursuit against the odds. The following day we took to the air for a helicopter ride to observe the downtown area's incredible expansion and check out the mansions and estates to the south of town. After seeing the city from the air, we drove around and observed it from the ground, each neighborhood more luxurious than the next. We went to the famous yet humble Loveless Cafe, home of the best biscuit in Nashville. Our final stop was the Grand Ole Opry, the oldest continuously run radio broadcast, to witness an amazing live show of country music talent past and present.?

The trip provided a study in contrast of two models of status. “Status” can be understood as how others see and evaluate us. The big, bigger, and biggest homes we saw from the air were substantial statements of status, with their enormous green lawns, pristine white pillars, scenic mountain top views, and ambitiously large pools. In certain sections of Nashville, the mansions were reminiscent of Embassy Row, buildings proudly signaling the importance of the inhabitants. Mountaintop retreats were not uncommon. Many of these homes have been around for a long time, and it was clear that this status game was not new. Status in this context was a projection of accumulated wealth and power.

The status game was also at play in the music venues. Obviously, the musicians in the more important venues had more status. Playing in a bar off Broadway was not as good as playing in a bar on Broadway (every bar on Broadway had live music.) Playing on Broadway was not as good as playing at the Station Inn, and nothing was as good as playing at the Grand Ole Opry. And even at that venerable institution, there was a hierarchy of members and non-members. Recalling that mansions are a projection of status by the owner, by contrast, status in the music scene was bestowed upon performers by listeners as a symbol of respect and admiration. And the musicians with status held it with fragile humility and used it to support those on the way up. For example, at the Opry Jeannie Seely celebrated her 55th anniversary (and 5,000th appearance!) by introducing Chapel Hart and celebrating their first.

Status is a fundamental human motive. It gives us a sense of belonging and of acceptance and creates order in society, companies, and teams. The Loveless Cafe has the recognized status as one of the great eateries in Nashville, if not the South, with patrons often happily waiting over an hour. Looking around the cafe, there was a universal array of people because, despite their status, they chose to keep their prices affordable and inclusive. The musicians who worked decades to achieve their status as members of the Grand Ole Opry went out of their way to express gratitude to the house band, the individual contributors, the new artists, and, of course, the audience. In each case, the holder of status used it to enhance others rather than dominate them.

The flashy mansions are displays of an old status system. That model is not static; it is being reimagined. In the country music status system, people are rewarded for musicianship, humility, and collaboration. In life and leadership, as the new model of the relationship-first world becomes more dominant, those who build systems where both people and profits thrive will gain status. When we stop seeing status as a competition, everyone wins. Status, like relationships, is not a zero-sum game. Leaders with status will rise together with the best employees, loyal customers, dedicated suppliers, and shareholders. We can understand and deploy the power of status to be inclusive and openhanded, knowing that status is its best and purest form when shared and creating more expansive growth for all.

Read Design The Long Life You Love is coming by Ayse (Eye-Shay) Birsel

Ayse's new book,?DESIGN THE LONG LIFE YOU LOVE,?is coming out soon. The pub date is December 6, 2022 (Running Press, an imprint of Hachette.) This labor of love is the culmination of five years of research, writing, and illustrating. Many souls have been a big part of her book journey with words of support and emails of kindness.?Some of you even took part in the research that was intrumental to this book. You have given her confidence, energy, and a sense of purpose, especially through moments of self-doubt and procrastination. This is truly a book of community, of celebration, and of designing your long life, not matter what stage of life you are in.

Read What if Your Only Job Was To Help Others Be Successful? by Whitney Johnson

What if people, not tasks, were at the top of your list each day??Because the truth is, everyone—even the people who seem like they don’t need a lot from you—needs your care.?And the care needs to be personalized, adapting to the needs of the individual as they scale their own S Curves.?Consider the natural world. All plants need water and sunlight, even the cactus. But a fern and a cactus require significantly different amounts of sunlight and water. The same is true for your people.?By putting people at the top of your list, you change your personal measure of success. And in doing so, you give yourself the space and time to focus on what each individual needs. You prioritize nurturing your team.?

Read Cultivating Creativity by Deborah Heiser, PhD

Emily Falvey is a gifted songwriter, but without James Tealy, she may not have become a recognized name in the music industry. Her story begins with her writing songs as a young girl of seven or eight. She dreamed of becoming a famous songwriter and set off for college at Belmont University in Nashville, Tennessee. When she arrived, she was just like the other students in her program, who also had a unique gift for writing songs. She was overwhelmed and almost gave up on her dream until she met her first mentor, James Tealy, a professor and writer/cowriter of more than 100 songs. He saw something in Emily that she didn't see herself. He told her, " Emily, you realize you can champion other people's talent in the writing room, right? And you have what it takes to be a writer." His insight was her "Aha!" moment. It changed everything for her because he was able to guide her into the field and the career she dreamed of but didn't have the confidence to pursue. Emily's creativity exploded.

Midlife is when many individuals begin to strongly desire to give back through volunteering, mentoring, and philanthropy. Experts can pass on many concrete skills to the next generation, and they can also cultivate creativity in music, art, writing and film. Although artists, like athletes, may have an innate ability and affinity for their talent, a mentor can identify and enhance aspects of the mentee that they may never have noticed or felt they had the ability to capitalize on. Falvey's music has a piece of her mentor living on in every song.

With love and gratitude, Scott