Week 21.51 Ask Don't Wonder

In too many ways, 2021 has been a year of bewilderment. Each day since Jan 1, 2021, has brought the potential for the full range of emotions. From pandemic to politics, environment to entertainment, we have each been whipsawed back and forth from high and lows, each one of which was unimaginable two years ago when I was thinking about what my plans would be for 2020. Needless to say, those plans didn't happen (picture from my Jan 2020 pre-pandemic gathering)

For me, one of the outcomes of the pandemic was learning to live with uncertainty and seeking out where I could remove the tension that was not necessary. In too many situations, the mystery was caused by trying to figure out what was going on rather than just asking people who knew. As part of my Daily Questions (see: Triggers by MG), I added: Did I ask instead of wonder? In other words, rather than wondering what someone was thinking or what was happening, I just asked. Here are some of the situations I found helpful.

Ask when someone else already has the answer. It turns out that there are too many times that I try to figure out an answer when someone already knows it. As I started to apply Ask Don't Wonder, I was shocked at how often I would try to figure out solutions that other people already had. I stopped wondering how to do something and asked. Instead of wondering when we were meeting or who was coming, I asked. The trigger was "wondering" and the response was "asking." The amount of time I saved and the stress I avoided by not being in the wondering state was astonishing!

Ask about the unknown. At other times, I wondered when something that I cared about was unknown to me. By asking others about it, I discovered two different positive outcomes. Sometimes people would tell me the answer, and I would stop wondering, and other times they would not know either, and I would stop wondering since I was not alone in not knowing. I could then research if it was essential or just let it go.

The most profound shift came from asking rather than wondering about things that I feared might offend others. Take care with this one, but my experience has been that by asking rather than wondering, I would uncover information that helped the situation progress. Want to know how a friend/co-worker feels about something? Ask. Wondering about whether or not your action/words offended someone? Ask. It turns out that even in cases where there is some risk, the risk can be mitigated by asking and dealing with the results rather than wondering and avoiding them.

The pandemic has shown us that in life and leadership, there is already too much uncertainty. We need to reduce it wherever we can. My daughter Lily has been trying out Ask Don't Wonder and calls it a game-changer. Literally. It reduces the "game" of relationships and allows more honest and open interaction. It also changes dynamics on ZOOM calls where less body language equals less information. Try it for yourself. Would you please share the circumstances you find helpful in the comments so that others can benefit from your insights? If your experience is anything like mine has been, you will be happy if 2022 becomes the Year of Ask Don't Wonder Full Life.

Congrats to Liz Wiseman, Hubert Joly, and Ron Carucci for making Bloomberg's 49 Most Fascinating, Mind-Blowing, Challenging, Hilarious, and Urgent Titles of the Year List.

Before the end of every year, we reach out to the more than 2,500 journalists who work at Bloomberg's 150-plus bureaus worldwide and ask them to poll the newsmakers they cover in search of our best books of the year. The results might seem random at first.?Going There, the gossipy tell-all from news anchor Katie Couric has very little in common with a volume that bears the name?Lectures on the Philosophy of Mathematics. More than anything, the wide variety of topics reflects the various ways people have responded to a challenging year. Some delved into complex issues via such titles as?Empire of Pain, Power, and?Rationality. Others found humorous books—A Very Punchable Face?and?Tacky—more palatable. In other words, think of this list the way you would regard an actor like Matthew McConaughey, whose?Greenlights?memoir was one of the only books cited twice. It's got range. Best Books 2021: Top Picks from 51 Business and Finance Leaders (bloomberg.com)

Thank you, Hastings Digital!

Throughout the year, Luke and the team at?Hastings Digital?are responsible for a lot of great social media work behind the scenes for Marshall and the 100 Coaches.?Hastings has been behind Marshall's digital marketing since 2014 and filmed the infamous video of Marshall's announcement in San Diego. This year they supported our Thinkers 50 announcements, many book launches, live streams, and Marshall's newsletters. Their clients include Sally Helgesen, Rita McGrath, Sandy Ogg, Martin Lindstrom, WBECS, Methods, and others.?As we come to the end of the year, I wanted to be sure to recognize their excellent work, and, as importantly, they are a pleasure to work with. Check them out at Hastings Digital Studios.

Omicron (70x), Winter Waves and Real Hope | Dispatch #20

I have been following Tiffany Shlain since I was blown away by her film Connected at Sundance in 2011. I also shared her idea of 24/6, and this year I am not watching television on Saturdays because of it. Her brother, Dr. Jordan Shlain, writes about COVID in the most straightforward, least opinionated language of anyone. For example, "It is important to note that there is no such thing as a "breakthrough infection." This is not a clinical team of art, rather a consumer media-inspired term that implies something was 'broken through.' In the words of the great Persian poet Hafiz, 'the words you use become the house you live in.' In this world of words, meanings, and rapid-fire conclusions we draw and the narratives we create (in our head), I do think it's worth slowing down and getting the language right!" I know, and given the current uncertainty of Omicron, I thought it was worth sharing his latest post here. I hope you find the information and perspective as helpful as I do. Omicron (70x), Winter Waves and Real Hope | Dispatch #20 | by Jordan L. Shlain MD | Dec 2021 | Tincture

And, as always, thank you, Marshall, for making all of this possible.

With love and gratitude

Scott