Week 21.50 Seeking Acceptance

The end of the year seems to be approaching a little faster than usual. You may be thinking, as I sometimes do, the year can't end soon enough. It could be that Christmas and New Year's Eve are both on Fridays, making it tempting to shorten both weeks. Or perhaps it was hard for many people to take a vacation this year, so they are just taking off a little early. Whatever the reason, it appears many people are putting on the breaks from Friday the 17th until Jan 3rd.

I am looking forward to the quiet to clean up some items that I had not been addressing, reacquaint myself with the natural world, and reflect on the past year. One of the items on the top of my list is to consider how I dealt with obstacles, those pesky situations that are barriers that block us or at least cause us to change course. There are three different ways I can look at these events: deny them, learn from them, or accept them.

I broke my foot once. It was a minor fracture, and while it caused some pain, I could still walk pretty well and continue doing what I had planned to do without interruption. Eventually, I went to see a doctor who put me in a walking cast for six weeks, but the bone never really healed. To this day, it's still a little sore, it reminds me when it is going to rain, and there is nothing to be done about it. By denying that I had broken my foot, I created a permanent reminder that not quickly addressing a problem can create different issues in the long term. I have many other examples of this denial technique; this one is the least embarrassing.

I have gotten better at seeing mistakes as learning experiences. I have countless examples of this over the years. One of the biggest mistakes I make is thinking I have the answer and wanting to be the first to share it. It's an old habit that I think I developed in kindergarten and continued until... yesterday. Fortunately, I have learned from that mistake and now realize that 1) I don't always have the (right) answer and 2) by being first, I take up room for others to express themselves. I have learned so much from others by not speaking out and first hearing their ideas and perspectives. I have many other examples of this technique of learning from the past; this one is still a work in progress.

I listened to an interview with Jared Diamond, the brilliant author of Guns Germs and Steel and Collapse. He was recounting how archeologists studying tree rings in central Asia have determined that the three decades during the birth and childhood of Ghengis Khan were among the wettest recorded, leading to more hay for horses and cattle and a population explosion. Diamond asserts that this was why Khan is one of the greatest warriors in history. There were always great military minds around. It was the macro context that made global domination possible.

In life and leadership, we too often think we understand what is going on around us, our role, how we can shape the world to fit our ambitions, and what other people are thinking. This year has been a masterclass in a world beyond our control, whether it's COVID, the supply chain, climate change, or the mixed blessing of ZOOM. Letting go of the belief that I am in control, and therefore being responsible for an alternative outcome may be freeing. Acceptance is the practice of accepting that what happened in the past is now part of who I am. I can not change it, and while I can learn from it, I am often too close to the event to have enough perspective. This year, I will be seeking acceptance of these obstacles as something to float by rather than banging into.

Tomorrow's CEOs Are Shifting From Heroic To Humble by Nicole Heimann

The true heroic journey is one that takes us within. It's a journey of authentication, a dynamic process of constant evolution to become a better version of ourselves. This process has no end but is a conscious choice in which we practice self-awareness on a daily basis, taking responsibility for our actions and their impact. The coaching process can be a catalyst in setting free authentic humility, love, and a desire to serve a more significant cause, leaving a legacy that Greta Thunberg's generation will deem noble. Tomorrow's CEOs Are Shifting From Heroic To Humble (forbes.com)

Why real leadership offers a vision for long-term success by Oleg Konovalov

Very few business, social or political leaders actually have a vision. Modern leaders often cannot explain what their vision is and how it can be made a reality. They substitute money and performance indicators for vision, forgetting that no amount of time, money, or resources can help without vision. Vision is a collective property of its creators and all impacted by it. This is a team sport where great results come from the contributions of all involved. People who are at the core of it must have a chance to contribute to it. This is logical –?as a?vision is for people, then people must have a chance to add their views to it and thus make it even more valuable. Why a clear vision is integral to a business's success - Investment Monitor

Feedback Isn't Enough to Help Your Employees Grow by Peter Bregman and Howie Jacobson

Over the past 30 years, companies have been so focused on creating cultures of feedback that we've forgotten why we're doing it in the first place. The objective of feedback is to help people improve performance. We want people to up their game. To live up to their potential. To contribute powerfully to their teams. To interact effectively with colleagues. We want our organizations to become places where people can skillfully and candidly communicate with one another in the service of their growth and improved performance. Those are all worthy goals. But here's the thing:?Telling people they are?missing?the mark is not the same as?helping them?hit the mark. Feedback, skillfully delivered, can be a tool to help people identify their blind spots and opportunities for growth. But only when it's embedded in a true process of growth and development. Feedback Isn't Enough to Help Your Employees Grow (hbr.org)

And, as always, thank you, Marshall, for making all of this possible.

With love and gratitude

Scott