Week 21.24 Leading With Pride

In honor of Pride Month, I turned to some of my 100 Coaches colleagues for their thoughts on Leading With Pride. As always, I applaud their wisdom, insights, compassion, and understanding. Whether their words are new ideas, reinforce existing beliefs or challenge them, I hope that reading them will open your heart and advance you embrace differences, climb mountains, break down barriers, find courage, and find love where you thought you there would be fear. I hope you are as inspired by their words as I am.

Facing opposition has been a constant in my life. It has shaped me from the young man struggling to get through college to the award-winning businessman I am today. I can assure you it hasn’t been just sunshine and tee times along the way. I’ve had to climb some very difficult mountains with some that I still struggle with today. During this pride month, I would recommend we not only celebrate where we have come but let us remember those mountains we’ve climbed to get here and the ones still to come. I would not be where I am today if I didn’t learn how to face opposition, so my suggestion, when faced with these seemingly impassable walls, is to not turn around and go the opposite way. Learn through any means necessary how to get around or through these barriers because your success depends on it. - Doug Winnie

“I hope you don’t hate me.” These were the words of a friend when they confided in me that they were gay. At this moment, I was able to say what I said because it was right and because it was safe: “I understand you. I am gay too.” My first time speaking these words out loud. Fear of rejection and social isolation is the main reason for members of the LGBTQ+ community to stay in the closet. My friend’s words were a wake-up call for me to never assume that good intentions are obvious. Being an ally is not self-evident, and being a passive bystander is just not good enough to create an inclusive environment. A great way of being an ally is by making it obvious: by reading and listening to LGBTQ+ voices to appreciate the complexity and diversity of experiences, by speaking up when coming across microaggressions, by supporting a local LGBTQ+ cause, and by helping your company value diversity & inclusion all year long. Happy Pride Month! - Johannes Coloma-Flecker

Forty years ago this month I was a young man making sense of my sexuality.   I had dinner once a week with my parents — as an only child I took this as a minimal necessary concession to my conservative, traditional family.    One evening I decided it was time to come out.  I first told my mother, who immediately said “do not tell your father.  He could throw you out of the house and he could physically hurt you.”  My dad was older than most parents when he had me.  He had been a warrior, fighting in the jungles of Burma in world war 2.  As a dutiful son, I was his pride and joy.  In those days you would have described him as a “man’s man” with all the positive and negative things that would denote.

Not being one to accept advice at that time, I pressed ahead.  Dad was in the living room in his favorite chair.  I said “I have something to tell you, Dad.  I’m gay.”  He jumped out of his chair and came across the room at me.  Then he put his arms around he, hugged me tight, and told me he loved me, saying “I want to know everything about your life.”.

My Dad has been gone a long, long time.  In my life, I have been a leader, and for the past 10 years, I have been a coach.  My guiding principle is to approach each moment and each person with as much openness, curiosity, and kindness that I can muster.   I don’t always live up to this, but I always remember him.  Dad, I miss you and I still hope to be like you one day. - David Noble

We all have an opportunity to have Pride in who we are, including all of the dimensions that make us an individual. Anyone who experiences policies or cultural norms that interfere with their safety and best contribution goes through a reckoning process. It examines what you internalized from what was projected onto you in your family and culture. From that, one decides the strengths you want to make a part of who you are going forward; what messages from other peoples’ limitations you want to free yourself from; and what new beliefs or practices you want to display in your leadership and life. 

This self-reflection is useful for every leader.  It would prevent many of the cultural barriers in the workplace that derive from discomfort in giving feedback to, hiring, or “seeing” someone different from the hiring Manager as a next-level leader.  And a leader who has self-aware appreciation of themselves has an energy that raises everyone around them.   

Being a white gay woman in the United States has given me the experience of being a part of the majority in some situations, and the perspective of an outsider in other situations. This experience gives LGBT professionals many strengths: Empathy that comes from a window into the challenges of others who are also under-represented.  Courage to share authentically and resilience to maintain belief in oneself even in the face of others who are stuck in negative stereotypes.   Intentionality to create a family/community from choice not only biologically given. Vision of a culture in which everyone can thrive, including leadership to change hearts and minds, and change policies and laws. 

Being gay has energized me with a fierce conviction that every person should have the conditions that support them to make the contribution they are here to make. I take pride in that mission! - Sharon Melnick

Week 28 of 52 weeks of giving: GLAAD

Formed in New York in 1985, the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) amplifies the voice of the LGBT community by empowering real people to share their stories, holding the media accountable for the words and images they present, and helping grassroots organizations communicate effectively. By ensuring that the stories of LGBT people are heard through the media, GLAAD promotes understanding, increases acceptance, and advances equality. Because of GLAAD's work, LGBT stories and issues are covered in national and local news publications, in film and on television. In step with today's always-changing media landscape, GLAAD continues to provide journalists and media professionals with timely, inclusive and authoritative resources, expanding the representation of our community one story at a time through an effective, forceful mix of advocacy, education and visibility. https://www.glaad.org

Succeeding as an LGBT Professional - Dorie Clarke's LinkedIn Learning course free this month

Even in places where discrimination is illegal, there are still nuances and complexities involved in being openly LGBT at work. In this course, best-selling business author, consultant, and educator Dorie Clark shows you how to navigate them with aplomb and build a successful and thriving career. Dorie discusses how to harness the benefits of your identity and identify and overcome any limiting beliefs you may hold. She goes over pros and cons of coming out in your job search or on the job. Dorie covers ways to handle well-meaning coworkers with grace and how to connect with other LGBT professionals. She shares strategies to overcome challenges such as a very conservative company or industry, hostile coworkers, or the complexities of coming out as transgender.

The course will be "unlocked" (i.e., accessible for free even if you're not a LinkedIn Learning subscriber) from June 14-30. It can be found here: https://www.dhirubhai.net/learning/succeeding-as-an-lgbt-professional/being-openly-lgbt-at-work

How to Come Out as LGBTQ in Your Job Search

Finding the right next job is incredibly hard in itself, but being part of the LGBT community can sometimes make it even more difficult. I know the feeling! It's so important that not only the job is right, but also the environment is supportive of you being your authentic self. Yet, nearly half of LGBTQ+ professionals believe being out will negatively impact their job search. In this post, we'll cover some insights from the course on how to come out in your job search. It's such an important question because of course, you want to make sure you’re vetting things carefully, so you can land at a company that’s welcoming and feels like a great fit for you. But you also want to make sure that your sexual identity or gender identity comes across the right way – as just one facet of who you are, and all that you bring to the table. Click here for three strategies to help you achieve the optimal balance

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Edy Greenblatt June 18

And, as always, thank you, Marshall, for making all of this possible.

With love and gratitude

Scott