Week 21.03 Unilateral Forgiveness

Jeff Slovin, one of the greatest unheralded CEOs I know, shared his story of being coached by Marshall and becoming a compassionate CEO and how it transformed his leadership. “After meeting Marshall, he looked in the mirror and saw himself smile for the first time in six months.” Jeff is a great guy, super grounded, compassionate, and recognizes there is only so much you can control and even with all the hard work, he is grateful for the luck he has had. He shared the profound insight that unconditional giving, with no expectation of return from the person you are giving to, often yields returns beyond imagination. The ability to find a group that gives without the expectation of a return creates a vortex of giving that creates growth. This is the idea of generosity rather than scarcity. It is the difference between leveraging a relationship and being in an organic supporting relationship. It allows us to ask for help without shame. 

Jeff is on the board of the NFL Hall of Fame and nominated Curtis Martin to be a member of 100 Coaches. Curtis has made profound contributions to our wisdom and compassion as he quietly shares his insights. At 42 minutes into the call, Curtis shared his thoughts from a class he teaches on forgiveness. He draws a distinction between transactional forgiveness in which one person asks for an apology and the other person offers their forgiveness. He drew a distinction between this transaction and what he calls unilateral forgiveness in which one person offers forgiveness with neither the requirement nor exception of an apology. The offended person gives forgiveness regardless of what the offending party does. It is a decision of forgiving. It is the wisdom that the bitterness and hard-heartedness are harming you, holding it like a debt that really cannot be repaid. By holding the grudge and waiting for an apology you are actually under their power waiting for them to act. By offering unilateral forgiveness, you regain the power, release the anger, and release yourself from their power. Forgiveness is a decision, your feelings will catch up. I am so grateful for his wisdom, which reminded me of another one of our great thinkers, Srikumar Rao who reminds us that carrying the grudge, anger, hurt is like shooting a second arrow into a wound. Curtis offers a test of true forgiveness. It is when you stop seeking any form of retaliation, even in subtle forms like little snipes, or not speaking. Thank you, Martin. Marshall built on this by adding the thought of the need for unilateral forgiveness of the self. Thank you, Marshall. 

Generosity instead of transaction and unilateral forgiveness. What a great way to start a week of transition.  

Second Annual Meeting was a great success!

I think it is safe to say that the members of 100 Coaches made our annual meeting a great success. Due to the pandemic, we were unable to go to a great location, have amazing food, or enjoy any of the usual trappings of a meeting of this sort, and yet for six hours on Saturday and another five hours on Sunday we enjoyed each other’s company, insights, compassion, wisdom, and friendship. We also learned that Marshall has mastered the virtual environment and is a master of the room, even in ZOOM. Special thanks to various speakers who Marshall called on during the first two hours, and to Mark Thompson and his epic CEO panel with Aicha Evans, Harry Kraemer Jr, Hubert Joly, and Hortense Le Gentil. And on Sunday Martin Lindstrom’s amazing presentation on Common Sense, Safi Bahcall on the Pandemic, and Pamay Bassey and Harry Kraemer Jr on Values Led Leadership.

Week 5 of 52 weeks of giving: Blessings in a Backpack

  This week, Bills fans donated to Lamar Jackson’s favorite charity after QB exits Buffalo’s win over Ravens. Fresh off their team’s second home postseason win in as many weeks after a quarter-century drought, Bills fans were feeling extra generous Saturday, as they are won’t to feel. This time, following Buffalo’s 17-3 win over Lamar Jackson’s Baltimore Ravens in the Divisional Round, the Western New York supporters sought out one of the Ravens QB’s preferred charities to show their appreciation for his effort with donations. Bills supporters targeted Blessings in a Backpack, a non-profit charity based out of Louisville, Kentucky — where Jackson went to college — that works to ensure children who are fed through federal programs during the week don’t go hungry on weekends. In honor of this gracious gesture that I hope will become a tradition of winning teams everywhere, Blessings in a Backpack is my 5th selection of my 52 weeks of giving.  https://www.baltimoreravens.com/news/bills-fans-are-donating-to-lamar-jackson-s-favorite-charity

Sanyin Siang: How to Be a Creative Altruist - A Post Inspired by Martin Luther King Jr.

When I think about Martin Luther King, Jr, his perpetual impact and resounding legacy, I think not only about his presence, eloquence, and substance. What makes him so special is also how he lived his choice to “walk in the light of creative altruism.” In turn, he ignited a new vision for an entire nation and opened the chapter for a more collaborative world. https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/how-creative-altruist-post-inspired-martin-luther-king-sanyin-siang

From Jim Citrin: the Formula for Building Cohesive Relationships Virtually

Our research on virtual collaboration has found that top-performing virtual teams report higher levels of trust than teams that are less successful. Trust is a foundational ingredient and precondition for their success. 

But building trust, which can always be challenging, is especially difficult in a virtual world. Whereas co-located teams have an ongoing series of interactions, virtual teams must rely heavily on task-based trust, which is the belief that team members will do their job. This doesn’t happen automatically, but develops when virtual team members are responsive, follow through on commitments, and take responsibility for results. To read more check out his post https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/trust-team-jim-citrin

Driving Excellence: Leadership in AI, with Aicha Evans & Mark Thompson

In this episode, Byron Loflin, Global Head of Board Engagement, and Mark Thompson, Executive Leadership Coach, Bestselling Author, and Keynote Speaker, are joined by Aicha Evans, CEO of Zoox. Aicha shares her inspiration to pursue AI, the journey to leadership in autonomous driving, and best practices for entrepreneurs who want to develop an organization around an idea. Find out why she believes the audacity to be confident, yet humble, plays a role in driving excellence. https://www.nasdaq.com/videos/driving-excellence%3A-leadership-in-ai-with-aicha-evans-mark-thompson

And, as always, thank you, Marshall, for making all of this possible

With love and gratitude

Scott