Week 19: A few words can strengthen a connection

Over the next month, I will discuss connection in an electronic age. In one of my earliest podcast interviews, I was asked whether my networking style was offline or online. My reply was: both. While it’s completely possible that some people can fully satisfy their networking and connection needs in one direction or the other, for me, I know it’s a combination of the two.?

Here is one way I strike the balance: by bringing a personal touch to online interactions.

One of the crusades I was on early in my blogging days was to send a plea to LinkedIn to ask them to require personal notes when requesting a new connection. While LinkedIn has added a few features to encourage this activity, I still get way more LinkedIn connections without a personal note than I do with a personal note. (And when there is a personal note, it is often the LinkedIn version of a cold call.)

So, let me ask you this: what do you consider a true connection??

For me, I want to ensure that the recipient of my invitation to connect has an understanding of why I’d like them in my network. That’s why rule #1 in most of my networking seminars is to always include a personal message when inviting someone to connect on LinkedIn. If you are reading this saying “of course, I always do this”, then please join the movement by encouraging others to do the same. If you are feeling bold, you can do what I do and respond to non-personalized LinkedIn invites with a “why are you interested in being in my network.” (It’s either that or LinkedIn purgatory, which is where invites without messages or those with a clear cold call messages, pile up for me.)?

If it hasn’t occurred to you to include a personal note, here are some reasons why it can help you make more meaningful connections:?

1. Stand out from the crowd
2. Make the recipient understand why you are including them
3. Increases the chance that the new connection might follow-up personally
4. Opportunity to turn an online/asynchronous connection into an in-person/live connection

If you DO include a note, but they feel generic or like a cold-call, here are tips to make it feel more personal:?

1. If you recently met this person, lead with that information. “We met at the ABC Project / Committee meeting.”?
2. If someone else recommended you connect with this person, mention their name. “NAME suggested we connect based on our shared interests in XYZ.”?
3. Identify the key quality or experience that stands out about that person that you want to learn from by being connected.
4. Point out shared connections, employers, or interests.?
5. Don’t go for the ask of a coffee or meeting (virtual or otherwise) in your initial invitation - you don’t have enough characters left for that!?

To cement the idea of including a personal note, I invite you to take the LinkedIn oath I created over 10 years ago. Here goes.?

Raise your right hand and recite the following:

“I promise – to always – including a personal note – when inviting others to connect on LinkedIn.”?

(Check out this brave audience who took the oath live.)?

This small step could be a big step in making our big world feel like a smaller place.

What words are you going to include to make your next meaningful connection??

I authored the original 52 Weeks of Meaningful Connections in 2018. Despite the variety of ways we are able to connect, we are lonelier now than ever. This motivated me to re-visit the entire series. In some cases, the 2018 version will stand. In others, it will be updated to reflect the reality of our new world. Don’t miss what’s coming next week and subscribe now.