Wednesday with Avrom – One Strike and You are Out!

You can never be certain about the ultimate consequences of an event. However, you can be certain about how you decide to react to them. Viktor Frankl, a survivor of Auschwitz, wisely taught, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Avrom’s mother, Sarah, did not learn to drive a car until she was in her late 40s. Although she was well educated and had many talents, driving was clearly not one of them. And as she never felt she had mastered driving, Sarah was always leery and nervous behind the wheel.?She never felt secure enough in her ability to drive her children and always asked her husband to drive when he was in the car with her.

One day, Sarah took the family car from the garage and began her descent down the alley towards main street. A middle-aged woman, Miriam, was walking towards her holding her little baby and the hand of her 2-year-old. Although a young women, she had suffered much as an immigrant who had survived the Holocaust. Her husband, also a survivor, was a sickly man with a serious heart condition, and therefore was only able to find work at a low paying wage. The couple, who had 3 older children, barely got by on her husband’s salary even with the support of the Jewish community.?

Sarah seeing Miriam approach quickly planned to slow down by stepping on the brake; however, she mistakenly stepped on the gas pedal! Much to her dismay, she struck Miriam and the children. Although the children escaped the event with only mild scratches, Miriam suffered severe injuries and needed to be hospitalized for several weeks. Ironically, that period in the hospital turned out to be the first restful interlude she had enjoyed since the war.

As Sarah was clearly at fault, the insurance company quickly settled the claim and paid Miriam a handsome sum of money. With the proceeds, she purchased a laundromat which the family could operate with little training. Fortuitously, the business flourished and, though her husband died shortly after the incident, Miriam was able to provide funds to send her children to school, college, and one on to law school. All of Miriam’s children married, had children of their own, and today live happy and productive lives. This all came about because of one false step (on the pedal).

Miriam’s story embodied Frankl’s message – we are not defined by what happens to us but how we respond to the situation. The key to adopting this mindset is to accept responsibility for your life. Although Miriam had suffered the horrors of the concentration camps, a dying husband in a new land, and a terrible car accident she was never bitter or resentful. Neither, it is said of her, did she accept victimhood nor instill blame on others. Rather, Miriam chose to move on after each tragedy and strive to make the best of her situation.

Sarah was heartsick that her negligent behavior resulted in such pain to Miriam. She accepted responsibility for the accident, became a caretaker to Miriam’s children, and, realizing it was irresponsible for her to drive again, gave up her car keys.

This story highlights the importance of one’s attitude to a tragic event; and that, a horrendous situation may actually be a blessing in disguise.

This is part 43 in the Wednesday with Avrom series, please check out more?here.