Weaning Off the Pacifier: Self-care as a DEI Strategy
Deanna Singh
Inclusion Leader Expert Speaker & Consultant, Chief Change Agent of Four Purpose Driven Enterprises, Author of Actions Speak Louder ??
Uplifting Conversations provides impactful tools for all to thrive through a diversity, equity, and inclusion lens! Have ideas about what we should discuss next week? Let me know in the comments using #UpliftThisConversation or email me at [email protected]
Weaning Off the Pacifier: Self-care as a DEI Strategy
?
?
Biases are like pacifiers. When we’re anxious, stressed, or scared, they seem to magically appear in our mouths to help us soothe ourselves. Feel like your worldview is threatened? A binky of status quo bias will convince you that the current state is the best and all challenges to it are inferior. Do new methods emerge that have you feeling out of control? Try a wookie of confirmation bias until you’re convinced you never have to change. A different social group shows up on the fringes of your universe in ways that might cause you to question your perspective, future, and security? Most alleviate with affinity bias until they’re asleep, resting in the confidence that they and people like them are the best, brightest, fastest, and strongest. In each instance of self-doubt, bias becomes a pacifier that helps grown-ups calm themselves in a frightening professional world.?
I’ve seen plenty of DEI true believers fall into generalizations, dismissiveness, and biases. In these situations, they behaved in ways less than their highest selves. In fact, in almost all of these instances, they weren’t even acting like themselves at all. What’s interesting is they were unable to be their best because they were in situations that pushed them to their worst.?
When we talk about bias in moral terms, we often think about it in a vacuum. In this void, there exists only the individual and their choices. We suggest good individuals make good choices, and bad individuals make bad ones. But the situation’s more complicated. Beyond a person’s thoughts, perspectives, and worldviews there are numerous little prompts that provoke us to think, perceive, and view the world in certain ways.?
Be honest with yourself and think about the moments where you’ve indulged thoughts, statements, and behavior that were less than inclusive. If you take a moment and really think, chances are that less-than-ideal state probably came in response to some external trigger, a stressor, something that made you doubt yourself and your place in the world so deeply that you unthinkingly grabbed for bias to help pacify you.??
?
The Need for Self-Care
But there’s hope. As is the case with most stimuli that provoke undesirable behavior, we can reverse-hack our brains. Managing our external environment can actually rewire our internal thought patterns. To avoid less than desirable behaviors, pros tell us to avoid situations that provoke those behaviors. I can modify my thinking patterns by modifying my environment.
For that reason, it’s important to manage our biases through self-care. In my DEI work, I meet lots of people who are passionate about being compassionate. Focusing on others, they ignore their own physical limitations. This work is already a marathon, but they frequently try to run it without shoes, water, or breathing.?
If you want to help others, help yourself. If you want to be more inclusive, practice managing your biases by creating environments where you can be your most inclusive.?
1??Practice physical self-care
Replenish your body by sleeping, eating, exercising, and resting. Take in nourishment that allows you to function your best. In moments of panic, remember to breathe full breaths that combat the fight, flight, or freeze instincts that actually worsen your panic. Keep new events and people in perspective by avoiding the biased judgments that spring up against them in moments of worry. To avoid those anxieties as much as possible, do as much as you can to set yourself up for success physically.?
2??Take care of yourself psychologically?
Rejuvenate your mind by reevaluating the messages you frequent. Identify those designed to produce fear, anger, and agitation. Undergo periodic digital detoxes. Swap out hyperbolic media with more responsible forms. Refamiliarize yourself with the stillness and the quietness where the best version of yourself resides. Be cautious of outlets encouraging you to rehearse the anxiety, fear, and anger that allow biases to thrive. Seek those that invite you to practice the hope, optimism, and joy that allow inclusivity to flourish as much as it can.?
3??Reconsider your environment
Growth is inevitable, but status quo, affinity, and confirmation bias all insist you should stay the way you are.
Engaging with people, places, and things that promote fear can foster the biases that lead to even more negative outcomes.
Even worse, habitually being tired, hungry, winded, and stressed makes it harder to change even when you want to. So rethink the places you frequent, the social circles you keep, and the environments you inhabit. Find people, places, and things that promote growth and provide the support that makes managing biases more effective.
领英推荐
4??Name your fears
When children throw tantrums, it’s because they don’t have words to express their emotions. Adults are the same way. When we don’t name our emotions, we succumb to our tempers, reaching for biases to pacify. Avoid these negative thought patterns by using your words. Practice mindfulness, self-awareness, and self-affirmations to address the core of these problems. Say, “I feel afraid,” “I feel concerned about my job,” “I feel insecure about my competence,” or “I feel confused in this changing world.” Doing so, you will take the first step to help slow down panicking behaviors that allow bias to thrive.?
5?? Declare affirmations
After confessing these emotions, reaffirm facts that can help inclusivity to take their place. Say, “I look forward to learning,” “I am good at my job and can improve,” “I’m excited about gaining new competencies,” and “I can change along with the changing world.” Usually, biases have less to do with the groups we’re biased against and more about our own insecurities. True humility that doesn’t esteem itself higher than others but also doesn’t esteem itself lower than it ought. To manage biased and distorted thinking about others, replace your insecurities with factual accuracies about yourself and your place in the world.
Weaning Off the Pacifier
The binkie of bias pops in our mouths
during times of threat.
Many of those times can seem overwhelming, and the wookie can be an object that provides a sense of security. But times of hope can provide a more permanent and healthy self-soothing strategy. Taking fear and turning it into hope requires great time, energy, and focus. So create conditions that make it easier for you to shore up those great resources. Practicing physical self-care, taking care of yourself psychologically, reconsidering your environments, naming your fears, and declaring affirmations can be powerful ways to wean ourselves off the pacifier of bias.?
?What we are reading this week...
Catch up with Deanna!
Talking to our children about the subjects that afflict us every day can be an uphill battle!
Check out my feature on the Smart Family Podcast where I speak about ways to help your kids embrace racial diversity and stand against racial injustice.
Some immediate ways Uplifting Impact is overhauling workplace culture:
Bachelor of Commerce - BCom from Nizam College at Hyderabad Public School
2 年????