We Are What We Believe

We have all come across the phrase

Do you see the glass as half empty or half full?

its not the objective reality but about what we perceive.

Henry Ford's said

"If you think you can or if you think you can't, either way you're right"

Our beliefs define us, they define our identity (personal & social/public) values, worldview, mental models, are connected to our trust models (attachment styles).? We see the world through the filter of our beliefs, and they control our cognitive dissonance/self-justification and give meaning to our lives.

I cover this briefly in my previous article.

https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/you-what-your-believe-manoj-chawla-bek6e/?trackingId=%2B9cpNjG%2FQm%2BDTq88stPycQ%3D%3D

What are beliefs?

Beliefs are mental representations of how people perceive the world to be, based on their experiences, knowledge, and interpretations. They are convictions held to be true by an individual, often without the need for continuous proof or evidence. Beliefs can shape attitudes, drive behaviours, and influence how individuals interact with their environment and others around them. Here's a breakdown of different aspects of beliefs:

1.???? Cognitive Component: This is the informational part of a belief. For example, believing that exercise is good for health is based on specific information or understanding about physical activity and its benefits.

2.???? Emotional Component: Many beliefs carry an emotional investment that can be deeply personal and impactful. For example, a belief in a particular religion or value system can evoke strong feelings of peace, fear, or commitment.

3.???? Behavioural Influence: Beliefs often dictate actions and how individuals respond to different situations. For instance, if someone believes that hard work leads to success, they are likely to work diligently and persistently.

Types of Beliefs

·?????? Descriptive Beliefs: These are beliefs about how the world is, was, or will be. They describe one's perceptions of reality, such as "the earth orbits the sun."

·?????? Evaluative Beliefs: These involve judgments and include opinions about what is good or bad, right or wrong. For example, believing that honesty is important in relationships is an evaluative belief.

·?????? Prescriptive (or Normative) Beliefs: These are beliefs about what ought to be done or what is worth doing, often reflecting moral or ethical standards, such as "one should always tell the truth."

·?????? Existential Beliefs: These relate to beliefs about existence, including religious or philosophical beliefs about life, death, and the universe.

Formation of Beliefs

Beliefs are formed through various means:

·?????? Direct Experience: Personal experiences are a powerful influence on belief formation. What individuals see, hear, feel, and do can reinforce or change their beliefs.

·?????? Education and Information: Learning from educational resources, media, books, and other forms of communication can shape or change beliefs based on the information provided.

·?????? Social and Cultural Influence: Family, friends, culture, and society play significant roles in shaping beliefs. Social norms and cultural values can deeply influence what individuals come to believe as true.

·?????? Inference and Reasoning: People often form beliefs based on deductions or assumptions made from other known information, sometimes without direct evidence.

Understanding and examining one's beliefs can be crucial for personal growth and critical thinking, allowing individuals to adapt and respond to the world in more informed and effective ways.

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Unlike computer code, it is not always easy to read them, but we see its effect in our attitudes, behaviours and decisions/choices and even what we choose to do or not to do even if they are not rational on not good for us (in the short or long term).

To really understand ourselves we need to understand where these beliefs come from, be it our parents, upbringing, religion, social groups we belong to and identify with and even the films, books and culture.

One way we can “understand” our beliefs about ourselves, and the world is through the stories we tell ourselves.

Beliefs protect us and can enhance us.

Beliefs play a significant role in shaping our behaviour, decisions, and interactions with the world. While self-limiting beliefs can hinder us, other types of beliefs can protect us or enhance our potential. Here’s how they generally break down:

Beliefs That Protect Us

1.???? Belief in Personal Safety and Boundaries: These beliefs help individuals avoid harmful situations and maintain healthy relationships. For instance, the belief that one should not tolerate abuse or disrespect encourages setting strong personal boundaries.

2.???? Risk Awareness: Beliefs that cultivate a cautious approach to potentially dangerous situations, such as being wary of making financial investments without thorough research, can prevent costly mistakes and personal harm.

3.???? Ethical and Moral Beliefs: These are convictions about right and wrong that guide behaviour in a socially responsible way, helping maintain a sense of societal order and personal integrity.

4.???? Belief in a Support System: Trusting that one has a network of support in times of need can provide emotional comfort and practical help, reducing feelings of isolation and vulnerability.

Beliefs That Enhance Our Potential

1.???? Growth Mindset: Coined by Carol Dweck, this belief involves the understanding that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. It encourages resilience, a love of learning, and persistence in the face of setbacks.

2.???? Self-Efficacy: Belief in one’s ability to succeed in specific situations or accomplish a task. It enhances motivation and persistence, and it is critical for taking on and persisting in challenging tasks.

3.???? Optimism: A general belief that good things will happen. Optimism is linked to better health, a higher pain tolerance, and greater success because it motivates individuals to pursue their goals even in the face of difficulties.

4.???? Purpose and Meaning: Believing that one’s life has meaning, or purpose can drive a person to pursue goals, contribute to others’ well-being, and engage more fully in work and activities.

5.???? Flexibility in Beliefs: The willingness to adapt beliefs in the face of new information or understanding allows individuals to grow and change, enhancing personal development and facilitating innovation and creativity.

Each type of belief serves its role, either by shielding us from harm or by pushing us towards greater personal fulfilment and success. Cultivating a balanced set of protective and growth-oriented beliefs can lead to a more resilient and fulfilling life.

Some of our beliefs limit us and prevent us for realising our true potential.

Self-Limiting Beliefs.

Self-limiting beliefs are thoughts and convictions that one holds about ourselves, others, or the world that restrict our potential and hinder our progress. These beliefs often manifest as negative, restrictive thoughts about one's capabilities, possibilities, or worth, and they can significantly impact various aspects of one's life, including career, relationships, and personal growth. Here are some common types of self-limiting beliefs:

1.???? Fixed Mindset Beliefs: Believing that abilities, intelligence, and talents are fixed traits with no room for improvement. This can lead to avoiding challenges and fearing failure.

2.???? Perfectionism: Holding the belief that anything less than perfect is unacceptable, often leading to procrastination and a lack of completion of tasks due to fear of failure or judgment.

3.???? Fear of Rejection: Believing that being turned down or criticized is a direct reflection of one's self-worth, which can hinder personal relationships and opportunities to advance.

4.???? Imposter Syndrome: The belief that one is not worthy of success or that one's achievements are not genuinely deserved, often accompanied by a persistent fear of being exposed as a "fraud."

5.???? Scarcity Mindset: The belief that there is never enough, whether it's money, time, love, etc., which can lead to competitive, jealous, or overly conservative behaviours that prevent personal or financial growth.

6.???? Comparative Beliefs: Constantly comparing oneself unfavourably to others, leading to feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and dissatisfaction.

7.???? Belief in Predetermined Limits: Thinking that one has reached the limit of what is possible in terms of career advancement, personal growth, or educational achievement based on age, background, or past failures.

Addressing and overcoming these self-limiting beliefs involves recognizing them, questioning their validity, and actively working to form more empowering beliefs. Techniques such as cognitive-behavioural therapy, mindfulness practices, and goal setting can help individuals break through these self-imposed barriers.

Overcoming self-limiting beliefs or beliefs that no longer serve us is the hardest work we have to do.? We are often forced to address this when for example we might have a change in circumstances like losing our job, breakdown of a relationship etc.

If we cannot change them, we run the risk of being tied to them. One reason old people don't change this is that they see their life as ending/finite and so believe it is pointless to change and they can continue to function as is. (They see no need to change or it pointless or they feel since it has served them so far they can continue as is)

Origins of Self-Limiting Beliefs

Self-limiting beliefs often originate from a combination of sources throughout a person's life. These beliefs can be deeply ingrained, stemming from early experiences and reinforced over time through various interactions and social cues. Here are some common origins of self-limiting beliefs:

1.???? Family Influence: Parents and other family members are among the primary influencers of belief systems. Children adopt beliefs from their parents through direct communication, observation, and imitation. Criticism, comparisons between siblings, or expressions of doubt about a child’s abilities can plant seeds for self-limiting beliefs.

2.???? Cultural and Social Norms: Societal expectations and cultural norms can shape what individuals believe about themselves and their roles in society. For example, stereotypes about gender, race, or age can impose limits on what people feel they are capable of achieving.

3.???? Educational Experiences: Teachers and school environments play significant roles in shaping beliefs. Negative feedback, lack of encouragement, or being unfairly compared to peers can lead to limiting beliefs about one's intelligence or capabilities.

4.???? Past Failures or Traumas: Previous failures or traumatic experiences, especially if not properly addressed, can lead to a belief that such failures define one’s abilities or potential. This might lead to a fear of trying again or a belief in inherent incapacity.

5.???? Media Influence: Television, movies, and social media can set unrealistic standards for success, beauty, and lifestyle that individuals feel they must live up to. Constant exposure to such content can instil beliefs that one isn’t good enough or doesn't have what it takes to succeed.

6.???? Peer Influence: Friends and colleagues can also influence beliefs. Peer pressure and the human tendency to compare oneself to others can foster limiting beliefs, particularly if an individual is surrounded by negative or discouraging people.

Understanding the origin of self-limiting beliefs is the first step toward challenging and overcoming them. By identifying these sources, individuals can begin to question and reframe their thoughts to foster a more positive and empowering belief system.

Examples

Here are specific examples of how self-limiting beliefs such as a fixed mindset and a scarcity mindset can manifest, and where these beliefs might originate:

Fixed Mindset

A fixed mindset is the belief that abilities, intelligence, and talents are fixed traits that cannot change. Here are a few specific examples:

• Academic Achievement: A student who struggles in mathematics might develop the belief, "I'm not good at math and never will be." This belief could stem from early experiences in school where they received poor grades and were compared unfavorably to peers, leading to a belief that their abilities are static.
• Career Progression: An employee might believe, "I'm just not a natural leader," after receiving critical feedback in a leadership role or observing role models who seem innately skilled. This could discourage them from seeking leadership opportunities or further development in their career.
• Artistic Skills: An individual might think, "I don't have any artistic talent," because they compared their early attempts at drawing or music to peers who exhibited more skill. Such comparisons can reinforce the idea that they lack natural ability, which is unchangeable.

Scarcity Mindset

A scarcity mindset is the belief that there is never enough of something, whether it's money, resources, opportunities, or love. This belief can lead to competitive, jealous, or overly conservative behaviors. Examples include:

• Financial Conservatism: Growing up in a household where resources were always tight can lead someone to believe, "There’s never enough money." This might result in extreme frugality or anxiety around spending, even when it's not financially necessary.
• Relationship Insecurity: Someone who experienced neglect or inconsistent attention during childhood might develop the belief, "Love is limited, and I must hold onto it tightly." This can lead to clingy or possessive behavior in relationships.
• Professional Opportunities: Believing, "There are very few good jobs, and once they're gone, they're gone," might originate from observing high unemployment in one's community or family. This belief can lead to staying in an unsatisfactory job due to fear of not finding another, limiting career growth and personal satisfaction.

These specific examples show how self-limiting beliefs can pervade different aspects of life, often stemming from early experiences and reinforced by various influences over time. Recognising and addressing these beliefs can help in personal development and improve overall life satisfaction.