Are we taking life too seriously?
Are we taking life too seriously? What would happen if, for once, we ignored these silly power structures we have created within our society??
As a German-Polish global citizen, I take life pretty seriously. If I am being honest, it hasn’t served me much. Not only have I spent 15 years accumulating degrees, trying to understand the pain of this world. I have also made myself believe at some point that I am better than others because of all these “achievements”. Unfortunately, I also share this belief that life is hard and it takes perseverance and grit to reach the top. Again, this can subconsciously feed the belief that some of us are better than others. Let’s call this - Problem No.1.?
Today, I'd like to challenge this notion directly. We create pain. Some of us are more involved in recreating the structures that make life difficult for others. Nevertheless, all of us are part of it, even if it is only on a macro level and in our direct surroundings – Problem No. 2.
Why? Simply because we are taking ourselves too seriously. Do you believe that everything you do matters? And if so, how does it matter? For centuries, religion, philosophy, and laws have tried different methods to instill a sense of ethical behavior. And honestly, it has yet to truly work. It is ironic and almost hideous if you consider how much time and effort has been spent on creating these structures and guides. Just to find masses of people feeling lost, depressed, and demotivated to continue living this lie of the so-called successful life – Problem No. 3.?
Oh, and yes, having been raised between the Polish and German cultures, with a minor in philosophy, makes me excel at finding problems :-), to my own detriment.?
Why are we continuously failing at creating a joyful life?
Here is my theory on why this isn’t working: Because it is a serious matter in a world where we could simply all enjoy the time we have on this planet. But wait, All humans? Yes, all of us if we would learn to go back to what it means to be a community. Not only a community structured around your race, culture, ethnicity, religion, and perhaps, if you are further evolved, shared interest. A global community that understands how we are inter-connected. Most ideas are personal beliefs and not written rules or laws. There are different perspectives to different ideas. The collectiveness of these perspectives is what can bring us closer to universal truth.
This brings me to Solution No. 1—The “I” exists only in interaction with the “We”. We exist only through and with the people around us. Imagine yourself alone without other people around you. It’s through interactions that you understand who you are. The need to be meaningful keeps each of us going. We want to be useful. The “I” isn’t better than the “We”. It can be different. The more diverse an ecosystem is, the healthier it is.?
This leads me to Solution No. 2 - breaking systematic structures by understanding my life will be better if your life is better. Solution No. 2 is built on solution No. 1. I am not better than you therefore, I have no right to exclude you. Instead, understand that your life becomes more meaningful the more you support others and use your skills for problem-solving.?
Solution No. 3 is more tricky, perhaps because it is so straightforward: Do not harm another human being in any form (I would even go as far as to say: Do not harm another being). It really comes down to this simple rule. It doesn’t take religion, laws, or Kantiansim to sum up the core of our dilemma. People hurt people because they believe that they have the right or because they believe that they are right. And yet, they are not.?
No one has the right to harm anyone else, not for economic gain, personal gain, land gain, or any sort of gain.?
And one more thing: no one has ever invited anything by themselves. All inventions have been a result of interactions and exchange. Stop pretending like you are a genius and start giving credit where credit belongs.?
Now what?!
Let’s go back to where we started. Are we taking life too seriously? What would happen if, for once, we ignored these stilly power structures we have created within our society???
What is left when we stop taking ourselves seriously and stop seeing ourselves as the “bellybutton of the world” is the ability to live in the moment joyfully. Isn’t this a refreshing thought? Imagine you no longer have to prove yourself. Imagine if you are no longer competing in an endless race designed to bring you back to where you started—non-existent in this world.?
What is left is the joy of living this life. Yes, it would take some redistribution of wealth and sharing of resources. Remember—if your neighbor's life is better, your life is better, so why not share??
I am not speaking about socialism. Not all of us have the same desires and aspirations in life. If you want to build several businesses, go ahead. If you want to work a simple job and enjoy what you have, that's fine as well. What I am speaking about is the need to stop believing that we matter more than others and stop hoarding possessions because we believe that we deserve them.?
All of this is meaningless without the people around you and the ability to share it with someone. Remember, you alone on your yacht on the ocean has no meaning, and it is like you never existed in the first place.?
“I” doesn’t exist without “we”.
Want to read more and learn more?
Disconnect to Reconnect – 1-2-3 Social Psychology for Leaders Newsletter is a bi-weekly newsletter delivered to your mailbox. Receive to your email every second Thursday 1 Exploration of a social dynamic affecting leadership & your life, 2 Examples of how to overcome it, and 3 Resources to support your self-development & leadership journey.
You can sign up in the comment section.
?? Follow Dr. Kinga Mnich for Leadership, Mindset, Emotional Intelligence, and how to build a self-determined life and career.
Helping SMBs achieve extraordinary results via data-driven leadership development | MPO Expert – leveraging the power of data to plot the path to success.
3 个月Dr. Kinga Mnich nice to learn a bit about your background and gain insight into your thinking. I go with a simple theme – more joy, less friction or perhaps you would say more joy, less (or no) harm.
Fractional Chief Brand Officer | Helping Founder-Led Brands Navigate The Transition To Team-Driven Growth And Scale With Integrity
5 个月Ha! I just used that exact same picture if the women leaping across the beach in a client's media for his social! I'm saving this to read later.
Mentor trainer, Educational consultant, teacher/ lecturer
5 个月Good insight. Well said. Great thinking.
You can sign up here for a bi-weekly newsletter delivered to your mailbox https://kingamnich.myflodesk.com/socialpsychologyforleaders