We serve with empathy: Holy Rosary Hospice nurse cares for patients at end of life and after death

Kelly Tarr, a home health aide at Holy Rosary in Miles City, MT, cares for her patients with compassion and empathy.

Beyond the conventional duties of a certified nursing assistant, Kelly possesses a unique gift – the art of dressing up departed patients according to their wishes and lifestyle with grace and dignity.

Kelly joined Holy Rosary in 1989. She transferred to Home Health in 1996 and then to Hospice, which was created in 1997. She is the last remaining member of the original Hospice team. She has a passion for caring for patients that began when she was a child after her mother shared the memory of her grandfather tragically passing when her mother was only nine years old.

“The only thing my mom remembers is being ushered into a room shortly after her dad died and he was lying on a black gurney,” said Kelly. “It’s sad knowing that was her last memory of him, and I always think of that when I’m caring for my patients, and that care extends to after their deaths. My goal is to help give the families a little bit of closure by presenting their loved as close to what they looked like when they were alive as possible.”

Kelly grew up in Miles City and knows many of the patients she cares for. This personal connection and caring spirit compel her to do the work she does. She’ll bathe patients, curl and brush their hair, put makeup and perfume or cologne on them, and dress them in their favorite clothes and jewelry. She wants to make them look beautiful and peaceful when their families arrive after they’ve passed.

Kelly says the reason she does this is to give her patients dignity and to provide support for their loved ones since it is the last image they’ll have of them. She speaks with the families and patients about it ahead of time to ensure that she has their blessing to do it.

“The families are always grateful to see their loved ones how they looked when they were still living,” Kelly said. “They thank me for taking the time to care for them during their lives and after their deaths.”

She explained that it can be very difficult to see so many patients pass but believes it’s her mission from God.

“It is hard to lose the people I’ve cared for and I often cry on my drive home, but I believe this is my purpose,” she said. “When I feel like I can’t do it anymore, God tells me this is where I'm supposed to be, and it keeps me going.”