Are we really free?

“You seem like a smart guy, why do you keep all this? Can’t you see it's all dogma? Can’t you see that it's a facade. Why don't you free yourself of these limitations that you impose on yourself like Kosher and Shabbos and all these holidays.” He looks at me and continues “Look, I do not mean to be disrespectful of your beliefs and as a Jew myself, I know what it means to be discriminated against, my father's whole family was killed in auschwitz. I am simply trying to really understand why you do all this.”

Normally when someone judges me and talks to me in a condescending way, I feel like going on the defensive or maybe even attacking them. Being that I am really confident in my beliefs and in my faith, it allowed my love to shine and my fear of being judged to melt away.

I remembered what I recently heard that every communication comes from a place a love. Sometimes we see it as love other times we need to see it as a cry for help. This was a clear cry for help, this leader was searching and clearly was irritated by my state of happiness and dedication to the faith that I am lucky enough to have been given as a gift to give to my children.

Every communication comes from a place a love.

With compassion and love I told him that I appreciate that he sees me as a “smart guy” and that I still need to work on keeping it all. There are 613 commandments and I struggle to keep them all in the proper way. I explained that I do see how with little understanding of our faith he would consider it all dogma and a facade. Some people look at Entrepreneurs Organization as a cult because they do not share in their values or because they simply do not understand why the 11,000 CEO’s that are part of it are so pumped about what EO brings to the table.

Lack is knowledge is not a valid excuse for judging other people, organizations and faith. People do it as a natural reflex to feel better about their situation. It's something we can all work on. I know people who judge others for being wealthy. “They must of stolen something be driving such a nice car.” Yes, people actually say that.

I continued telling him that for me, it's not a limitation to keep Shabbos and Kosher it's a privilege. I actually feel special that CEO’s that I know, feel like they need to be available on Saturday, I can safely turn my cell off on Friday night and not think about business till Saturday night. That my world rests for 24 hours every week and all that matters is my family, friends and community.

I actually feel special when I am networking at the Harvard club with 80 executives and they bring me a kosher meal and people look and say, wow, why does he get special treatment like that. I feel honored that I get to do that. Not that I have to, because It's a free world and I have the choice not to keep those things, I keep them because they represent much more than feeling special.

It's a free world and I have the choice not to keep those things, I keep them because they represent much more than feeling special

Each holiday that we have has a special deep significance that is real today in our everyday life. It's not just about something that happened thousands of years ago, it's about our everyday life. I explained that when I sit around the table at the Seder on the night of Passover with my kids, I get to pass down the tradition that was passed down to me from my parents and to them from their parents all the way back to the first Jews. Each simple ritual that we do represents how we can better ourselves as a human today in our everyday interactions. Eating Matzah represents humility, an element that every leader needs to work on to be more vulnerable and connect to impact more people.

Eating Matzah represents humility, an element that every leader needs to work on to be more vulnerable and connect to impact more people.

In business the ultimate company makes a profit and grows each year. Most companies go out of business in a few years and the ones that make it, are usually not very profitable. 70% of companies on the INC 5000 actually lose money. Why? One might venture to say that they are not purpose driven? Values driven? They do not have an engaged workforce? Engaged leaders? Maybe, that is the case, maybe they are just growing and burning cash to make it up later. I do know that companies with engaged employees generate three times the profit and an indicator of major success is a high net promoter score.

Great systems, great processes, great product, great people, great stories is what makes a great company and its also what makes a great profitable life.

I am fortunate to have been given all the great things I believe in as a gift and the beliefs I want to change, I have the power to change those limiting beliefs. I feel free to accept my gift each year at the various holidays and responsible to pass the gift down to the next generation. That is my personal ultimate freedom. Knowing that there is a higher power and that we are driven by this purpose. To make the world a better place, a place of love and peace.

I have the power to change those limiting beliefs

I looked at him and asked, Why are you here? What is your purpose?

He said, I am still searching.

I told him, there is something inside you that wants more, keep searching and eventually you might be surprised that the answer will set you free. Freedom is about not worrying, not stressing, about trust and confidence, about happiness, love and peace.

I hugged him and said, “I love you the way you are, Happy Passover, next year in Jerusalem”

Are you free? Feel free to comment to this post and let me know what you think about my conversation.

Joe Apfelbaum - Ajax Union

BIO: Joe Apfelbaum is the CEO and co-founder of digital marketing agency Ajax Union. He is a public speaker, certified Google Trainer, and published business author. Joe enjoys speaking and writing about a broad range of business topics in his seminars, webinars and articles. Joe is the host of the popular podcast CEO Mojo and the producer of GrowTime.tv. Joe is a member of the Board of Directors of the Entrepreneurs Organization in Brooklyn, a group with over 11,000 CEO’s and a contributing member of the INC Business Owners Council, a community of the fastest growing companies in the United States. Joe is proud of all his accomplishments, but most of all he is proud of his successful foodie wife and beautiful amazing kids.