We are Opponents not enemies

During the last fortnight we have witnessed turmoil in the USA with the incumbent President Trump refusing to accept that his Democratic challenger, Joe Biden, has won the election. There has been much commenting and reflecting and posturing and in amongst all that there was one statement from Joe Biden that stuck in my mind

We are opponents not enemies

It made me pause for thought. In this social media driven world where everyone has an opinion on everything and a wrong word on Twitter can find you being subjected to the worst abuse, do we always see each other as enemies? There certainly appears to be a growing population with a binary mindset that if you are not with me then you are against me.

Whilst we try to promote the virtues of dialogue and freedom of expression, the reality is that we often don’t live these values. Our friends are mostly those who see the world the same way as us. Nobody wants to challenge or argue because of fear of causing offense or being ostracized. So, instead of challenging and debating in order build a better understanding of each other, we go with the flow because it is easier and does not require us to engage. The result is that our relationships are more superficial and more transient much like words etched in sand on the seashore, washed away by the waves.

In business it is no different. We see our competitors as the enemy who have to be destroyed for us to win. With our suppliers we play a zero-sum game thinking that the only path to our success is by squeezing every last shilling out of them. And within our organization we build a culture of “yes men” who risk being fired if they challenge the status quo even when what is being done is so obviously wrong. 

This just feels wrong. For us to get better we have to challenge, we have to debate, we have to learn new tricks from each other. Perhaps we can take football as an example, teams play aggressively to win but at the end of the match everyone shakes hands. Opponents on club teams become partners on National teams. Players and managers move freely from club to club. There is a recognition that they are opponents, but they are never the enemies.

Just because we see things differently. Just because we disagree with each other’s perspective. Just because we have opposing views. Just because we challenge each other. This does not make us enemies. All these things improve our understanding of each other and help to make us better. 

An opponent is not our enemy. A binary mindset is our enemy, as it stops us learning, developing and maturing into a better person.