We are one

"We are one".

This has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. I can only imagine how much more difficult the pain must be for the Muslim community and those directly affected by Friday's events. 

I have been a mixture of emotions - stunned, sad, angry, confused, tired, overwhelmed.

It's still so hard to fathom such a callous act of hatred happening on our doorstep. The mosque is in a suburb that I once lived in. I used to walk past it every Friday on the way home from work. It is opposite fields where I have played cricket, football, run and had so many enjoyable memories. A place where I felt safe, and it should have been safe for these Kiwis too.

I've been quiet on the situation so far, trying to process my thoughts and figure out how I can best help. I've decided that writing will help me to get my thoughts in order, and my hope is that it will help others too. To help to provide a little perspective on what is happening here. To help with a few practical suggestions. To help to begin the healing process.

Here are my thoughts below:

1. Don't let him win.

Jacinda Adern, New Zealand's Prime Minister has been phenomenal. She leads well because she genuinely cares. She has instigated changes to NZ's gun laws in the wake of the attack and refuses to name the perpetrator, which I wholeheartedly agree with. We must not watch or share such terrorist's videos, listen to, or read their messages. We can't place all the blame on social media platforms. We as a society must not give their communications any oxygen and they will not spread. If it spreads then they win. If we do come across this material we must be vigilant and report suspicious or hateful messages.

At work I am part of a Green Team, we have been planning an event for a few weeks now. After the attacks, we didn't know whether to cancel the event or not. One of my colleagues who was affected by the ordeal, said "No, we must carry on, otherwise he wins". The event will allow the company to get together, to socialise, to connect. 

2. Fit your mask first

Due to several colleagues being directly affected by the tragedy, my team at work went and met a councillor who had been brought in. It was good to get some guidance and bounce ideas off a paid professional. I recommend it to anyone feeling stressed by these events or struggling with daily life. Some of his best advice was to "fit your airplane mask first before sorting other people's", i.e. the urge is to help others in times like these, just make sure that you yourself are ok too. Talking with and listening to others and being with friends and family is important in times like these. I will try and support my affected colleagues as much as possible, for now they are wanting space. 

A fellow cricketer, Junaid Mortara, who I may have crossed paths with in my number of years playing, was killed. Mortara was the breadwinner of the family, supporting his mother, wife and their three children, ages 1 to 5. The family store is on the corner of Springs Rd and Aymes Rd. I will ensure that I buy goods from there when I can, and I urge locals to do so too.

3. This is not Christchurch's fault

There are always comments floating around that "Christchurch is such a white city" and that we were somehow to blame for this event as we are a breeding ground for racism. I call bullshit on that. Don't forget the murderer was an Australian citizen who had been living in Dunedin. That's not to blame either of those places, just to say that this could have happened anywhere. In my local circles I play football with guys from Malaysia, Scotland, Japan and Kurdistan among others. I work with people from all around the globe from Irish to Pacific Islanders, Emiratis to Egyptians. My soon-to-be three year old son is great friends with children from many cultures including a Muslim boy. The picture below is of them embracing and was taken just days before the attack. We aren't born racist and nor is racism a localised thing, it happens everywhere. There are good and bad people everywhere. Our job is to be one of the good ones, and to call out racism. Simply don't stand for it. 

4. Appreciate what you have today

If this event has taught me anything it is that be grateful for what you have today, because it could be gone tomorrow. Hug your kids tight, smell the roses, be thankful for all the little things that make life great. On that note, I would like to thank the emergency services and hospital staff that have had to deal with such a traumatic situation. Thank you also to all of the people both near and far that have supported both the Muslim community and the people of Christchurch. There has been an outpouring of love and we are grateful. Please continue to show love to Muslims around the world, and to support us in New Zealand and Christchurch. Please don't be afraid to travel here, otherwise he wins. Don't let one man's actions tarnish a nation's reputation. We are a loving, caring people and as much as we enjoy travelling, we take great pride in sharing our amazing country with others. 

5. Don't put things off

Similar to the point above, we don't know when our time is up so it's imperative that we take action today. Do the important things that matter; the things that if you were on your deathbed and hadn't done, that you would regret. I've been meaning to write a will for about two years now. I'm going to make sure I get it done asap.

5. Give blood

On Thursday, the day before the attacks I donated blood to the NZ Blood Service (https://www.nzblood.co.nz/) which I try to do as much as I can each year and recommend you do too. I have heard that there is a demand for it currently, so please donate if you are able to. 

I sincerely hope that my donated blood is currently helping a Muslim brother or sister. That my blood is your blood. So that when I say the sentence below, I can literally mean it. 

"We are one".