We Need To Talk

It seems like we’re interacting with computers a lot more than we’re interacting with other human beings. We're listening to dozens of voice mails every day. We’re watching thousands of video clips on our phones. We’re talking to Siri more than we are our children, spouses, families, friends and colleagues.

So, let’s talk. Really.

 Talking is one half of the communication equation and it’s an important one. It’s one of the most robust ways to send our message because the listener receives our message in a much more direct way than if we texted, emailed or tweeted it. Talking is direct, and with that direct communication comes less confusion. That’s really good, particularly when we’re “talking” about technical and business communication. We’ve all sent that email or tweet that was completely misinterpreted. It can be rough. Sometimes (and more times that we probably want to admit), talking is better. 

 Of course, this is only true if you’re a good talker. To be successful, you need to talk so that your audience will listen to you. If you talk, and no one is listening, you’re just making noise. When you talk so that others listen, then your message is being delivered and true communication begins. When people hear you and understand, only then can you expect meaningful results.

 So, let’s talk about three ways you can talk so others will listen.

1. Always think about who you're talking with. In other words, know your audience. 

This can be tough for those of us who live our lives immersed in the worlds of engineering and technology. We have our own terms, our own approaches, and our own methods of delivering information that really work well in those worlds. But we must adjust the way we talk to people outside the field, if we want to be heard. We do this naturally with our children and our spouses, and we can do it with other audiences too. Just think about who you’re talking with and adjust. 

1. Know the main intent of the situation.

In the world of business and technology, minimize the chit-chat and be sure to get to your point directly. This doesn’t mean you can’t have a bit of casual conversation to start, but don’t stay there too long. Get to the point! Conversely, recalling what we just said about our knowing our audience, don’t turn a date into a business meeting.  Or if your client wants to chit-chat, go with it.

1. Remember to pause and to check in with your listener.

Delivering the message is the first part of the communication. Ensuring your message is being heard in the way you intended is the very core of successful communication. You won’t know that if all you do is talk. Remember to pause and check in with your listeners. Ask them if they understand you and confirm that they are still with you. Then of course, you’ll need to stop talking and start listening.

I’ll “talk” about listening in my next article.