We need to get our ?? back - the pandemic makes it hard to do so...

Sometimes the Korean phrase just makes a lot of sense

?? (pronounced noon-chi) in Korean is something that is instantly understandable for anyone who has grown up in a Korean household. In Chinese the closest phrase would be 眼色 ("eye colour"). The easiest way to define this phrase is "emotional intelligence:". If you have noonnchi - you can tell immediately if someone is subtly asking for something ("that cake sure looks delicious") and you'll do something about it, or how someone is feeling. As a neurobiologist and as a professor (now Dean), I would argue that it is one of our most important human traits that we need to have in our society, at work and at school - even more so than our cognitive intelligence.

By the way, Koreans also have a phrase - ?? ?? (noon-chi up-da) - a person doesn't have noon-chi and therefore lacks the ability to pick up on emotional/human cues. Why does this happen? And why is having noon-chi so important, and why do we have less of it now during the pandemic? And is there a way to get this back?

It goes without saying that the pandemic has been stressful for everyone. Whether studying or working from home, we've all had to endure challenging circumstances related to technology, things not working, having to adapt to new situations and feeling isolated from others. We've all also experienced a profound sense of loss - loss of lives, our freedoms, our agency, our ability to connect with others and this non-verbalized loss also provides even more stress, frustration and anger. We've all experienced this at some point during the pandemic. Since we've all shared this common perspective, shouldn't it be easier to have noon-chi or that emotional intelligence to understand when we ask for more time (or our students do) or if we just need time off? How do we get to a place of lacking emotional intelligence or ?? ?? mentality when it's so clear that we're all stressed and need some help/kindness?

So many of us who would normally have noon-chi are lacking it because we also are overwhelmed ourselves (i.e. who doesn't seem to feel like they have too much on their plates and can't handle one extra thing). During this pandemic, the sense of loss as well as the feeling of constantly being overwhelmed makes it less likely for us to show as much grace as we normally might. Our own sense of loss, our sense of feeling our own stress, clouds our ability to see clearly and we lack noon-chi. Has this caught up to any of us? Not being as lenient and understanding when someone asks for an extension? Telling others that we're all in the same stressful situation so they should just accept it rather than showing them compassion and care - the same compassion and care we hope to get from others?

There are neurobiological reasons for why we pull down the blinds on our emotional intelligence during times of stress. Part of it is our stress response of fight or flight - and literally your responses will be to argue or to avoid (how often has this occurred during the pandemic). Another reason is that the parts of the brain that deal with this emotional context get overwhelmed by signals from the amygdala and striatum (more on this in a future article). Aside from that - we're all physically isolated from each other - it is so challenging to pick up on cues, especially emotional ones from others right now. All of these factors and others make it a challenge to be emotionally responsive and available.

So is it an impossible scenario? Can we all get our collective ?? back and try to be more understanding of each other, our students, our co-workers and our friends and family or is it a lost cause? I would argue that turning down the stress responses is indeed possible - make sure you are rested if you can, reflect and be mindful of what your stress levels are, reach out to your networks and your support systems (I know I've done so) and also make sure that you are situated in a culture of compassion and care. More than anything else - it's the system you find yourself in - does it value care? Do you value compassion and care? If you're not in a workplace culture that values this - it makes it harder to have that ?? and compassion - and maybe it's time to start growing that culture now, during the pandemic. Be well and take care everyone - and don't forget - ?? is important - maybe the most important talent you can develop.