We Need Communities, and They Need Us

"We rely on communities to support and sustain us, and if those communities are to survive and prosper, we must engage with them and nurture them. That's the beautiful symmetry of human society: we need communities, and they need us". 

These are poignant words shared by Hugh Mackay in his book, The Art of Belonging. 

I’ve experienced the privilege of hearing Hugh talk a number of times, the latest in a webinar hosted by Nieves Murray and the team at Suicide Prevention Australia. Hugh presented the annual Diego de Leo Address which marks the enormous contribution made by Professor Diego de Leo to suicide prevention in both Australia and, internationally.

Hugh’s presentation was as usual, a cause for much critical thinking and reflection. 

While I’ve read many of his books and closely followed his work for many years, today’s discussion, framed around suicide and how we may work in community with the aim of preventing it, was particularly insightful. 

Hugh began by articulating Suicide as a “painful subject”. 

We know that Suicide touches many people; both those who make attempts at taking their own life and, those who may be bereaved, support and/or care for people after an attempt. For many whose work is dedicated to supporting people with these experiences, Hugh offered some insights that may be helpful in our own reflections. 

Hugh is a social researcher with an interest and focus on the impact that living in community, with and for others, has on our health and wellbeing. Upfront in today’s presentation, Hugh identified two key concerns in Australia today:

1. A mental health crisis with three specific epidemics; anxiety, depression and loneliness, along with;
2. Increased social fragmentation

It is social fragmentation that I’d like to focus on in this piece. 

It might be hard to imagine social fragmentation in our modern world; one where in many ways, we are more connected with each than ever before – in this context, how could we be more socially fragmented? 

This is a particularly good question to consider as we reflect on the nine or so months since the COVID-19 pandemic forced us to adapt and become more digitally connected to each other because of the barriers imposed through restrictions such as border closures. Surely, we are now more social connected, rather than fragmented?

Perhaps what Hugh was alluding to is a paradox associated with our increased digital social connection? As he said, while on the one hand we may be more connected than ever before, we are at the same time, more apart and conceivably even more lonely, than ever before. 

If we accept this paradox, it might be worth sitting with it for just a moment?

In our modern world, we may find ourselves easily moving to digital connection as our predominant way to stay connected. Afterall, it is quicker, easier, often cheaper and is certainly a more efficient way to stay in touch; it many ways, it serves us well. 

We know that during the pandemic, that many of us found new ways to stay connected, through various technologies that only seemed like a fantasy as I grew up watching The Jetsons. Indeed, the webinar with Hugh made it possible for even more people to hear him speak, than the alternative of all having to be in the same room.

We also know that if not for the significantly increased availability of ‘Telehealth’, then many people would not have been able to seek treatment or be connected with care through the pandemic.  This is particularly true with suicide prevention services where we know for example at Lifeline, that calls to our service have never been higher. 

Another example was shared in the webinar by Georgie Harman, CEO of Beyond Blue in relation to the incredibly effective online forums hosted on the Beyond Blue website. We know that many people find this form of connection much easier, especially when experiencing social anxieties, where leaving a room, let alone a house, could be a significant barrier to connecting with others. Such services are vital and necessary.

However, if we were to pause for a moment and allow ourselves to reflect on the key points that Hugh was making in his presentation, it may cause us to think about how we responded as a society before the advances of our modern-day digital connection techniques. 

What is it that we have moved away from? What impact is this having on society and on our wellbeing? What impact is digitally connecting having on our approach to community? 

Reflecting on these questions may lead us be more alert to the temptation of moving toward a world where the majority of our connection is via digital means. This is a world where street parties and barbeques with neighbours are replaced with ‘WhatsApp’ groups. It is a world too, that instead of stopping and saying Hi in the street, we look the other way as someone we know is approaching, because we dread the amount of time it might take to stop and ask, “how are you?”; it’s much more efficient to do this through a text message. 

Maybe the real challenge is how we balance our social and physical connection along with digital connection? 

I didn’t hear Hugh in anyway suggest, and nor am I, that digital connections and our many modern technological advances don’t have their place in connecting humans. To the contrary, for many people digitally may often be their preferred, and sometimes only, way to connect with others. We need to continue to explore ways of providing this connection, because in many ways, for some people, these may well be the 'communities' that Hugh refers to in the above quote; that are needed, and they need us.

With this in mind, it might be worth contemplating the question of ‘what is community?’

Peter Westoby’s definition, in his book Creating Us: Community Work With Soul, could be helpful:

"Community, then, is not understood as synonymous with neighborhood, or place. Community is instead something that emerges, as a felt experience, or a social phenomenon, when people create it together: when they are in relationship within one another, drawn together by a shared concern (reading, refugee issues, reconciliation, wanting to garden and so forth). It might occur in neighborhoods, villages, towns, places; but community is not synonymous with those words.”

Hugh’s final challenge for us was for us to consider how we may become more compassionate as a society, where we see each other less as ‘consumers’ and instead more as ‘citizens’. He described compassion as “a very remarkable variety of human love”; not the kind that you may associate with romance, but instead, a love that permits us to care more for each other. 

As he concluded, Hugh left us with these final thoughts; “We live in a shimmering, vibrating web of connectedness” and that “We share a common sense of humanity and belonging”.

That is, “we need communities, and they need us”,

Perhaps our greatest challenge in our modern world is to consider the types of communities, both digitally and in person, that work for us? What role might these communities play in the prevention of the most painful subject that is suicide? 

Maybe these are important questions for all whose work is dedicated to this cause, to ponder and reflect on?