“We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make"

This is a quote from Marian Wright Edelman, someone I had the pleasure of working for many years ago at the Children’s Defense Fund, a US charity she founded to help lift those who cannot always lift themselves. Even today, in her 80s, I’m sure she still lives by this quote.

The impact she has had through her dedication to the civil rights movement and public service is extraordinary and also a bit intimidating to mere mortals like me. The way she conducted herself and ran the charity; and the hope and confidence she instilled in me and other employees was hugely inspiring.

This subject of inspirational figures came up during an interview I did with the Black Women In Leadership (BWIL) Network, a not-for-profit group with whom I work as an Advisory Council member. 

Seeing people who look like you in all walks of life, in different roles, opens up a world of possibilities and potential. It’s one of the reasons why I was so delighted when the BWIL Network first approached me about supporting their work.

I am lucky in that my role models also include those much closer to home: my parents. From the derision I get from some people I appreciate it’s not the most exciting answer! But the quiet dignity they displayed, especially at a time when the sight of a mixed-race couple would literally make people stop in the street, and cross it, instilled in me the values I live with today. Their calm, caring and optimistic nature shone through in their work as medical professionals, something I grew up with first-hand as my dad, who was doctor, had his surgery in our front garden.

I now have grown up children of my own and I hope I’ve instilled in them the belief and encouragement my parents gave me. 

My advice to them, and anyone, would be to really think about what makes you happy and brings you joy and say yes to opportunities to broaden your horizons. I’ve been fortunate to have a diversity of experience at Bupa and through my career and that’s been partly as a result of a curiosity to learn, to meet new people and try new things.

With this comes the occasional set back but we all have them. The important thing is to learn from our failures and also be kind to ourselves. The knock backs have taught me more about myself than any wins ever could.

Confidence is a key part of this. The internal narrative that runs through our heads can be one of the biggest obstacles to overcome because it can be brutally negative and discouraging.  Amongst minority groups this can be made worse still when those critical voices are also coming from external sources, which of course may be a result of conscious or unconscious biases.

The important thing is to remind yourself that you’re in your role, in that meeting, at the table because you deserve to be there. Confidence is something I would have given more of to my younger self. I still have moments when I need to remind myself that I have the knowledge, I’ve done the work and I’ve shown I can contribute. I also have my father's voice in my head telling me that if something has been done before it can be done again and so I draw on my experiences and approach every  situation with the attitude that I can probably deal with it.

Reminding yourself of what you’re good at, what you have done in the past, and all the things that are good about you is one of the most valuable things you can do to face the future with confidence and resilience. You don’t have to speak it or write it down; it just needs to resonate with you. Seeking that inspiration within is as important as looking for it in other people.