We Are More Connected Than Ever Before - Why Are We So Lonely?

"The business of business is relationships; the business of life is human connection." ~ Robin Sharma

In 2020, Cigna produced a detailed report to explore the impact of loneliness .

The result? Loneliness was at epidemic levels.

I hate to know what happened during the height of the Covid shut down.

61% of Americans reported feeling lonely in 2019.

Loneliness was driven by a number of factors, including:

• A lack of social support
• Negative feelings about personal relationships
• Poor physical or mental health
• A lack of "balance" in daily activities - too much or too little of any given thing (like work)

Why does this matter for you and what can you do about it?

Read on…

The Cost of Loneliness at Work

In the workplace, the cost of loneliness can be huge. For example:

• Workers who report being lonely are twice as likely to miss a day of work due to illness, and 5X as likely to miss a day of work due to stress
• Loneliness decreases perceived productivity
• Lonely workers report that they think about quitting their job more than twice as often
• Loneliness results in lower quality of work

These are just a few examples, but can cost businesses Thousands of dollars in productivity, time, and quality issues if not figured out.

What People Need

In a now well-known study on team effectiveness conducted at Google known as Project Aristotle , the top factors for high-performing teams were identified.

What rose to the top??

Psychological Safety.

The best teams felt safe and able to be vulnerable with each other.

That doesn't happen in teams that are full of lonely people.

Teams feel psychologically safe when:

• Team members feel connected to each other.
• People feel heard, seen, respected, and listened to.?
• If they try something and it doesn't go well, they know they will be supported because they feel like people care about them.
• They feel like they are able to ask for help from others.
• They feel like their unique talents and skills are utilized and valued.
• They know they can take risks.
• People feel like they can bring up tough issues.

Does this sound like a team you'd like to be on? Yeah, me too…

The Call for Connection - What You Can Do

"Loneliness is not a longing for company, it is a longing for kind. And kind means people who can see who you are, and that means they have enough intelligence and sensitivity and patience to do that." ~ Marilyn French

Up to this point, I've talked a lot about loneliness and its negative effects.

But it's important to actually focus not on what we are trying to avoid, but rather what we are trying to increase.

Connection!

If leaders can help teams to foster this deeper sense of connection, they will succeed more!

Retention, productivity, quality, innovation, and work satisfaction will all be higher.

How do you do this you say?

Here are a few ideas:

• Make meetings more connective experiences. Build in ways of getting to know each other in more meaningful ways rather than focusing on the workplace transactions of the moment.
• State that you will support people, and back it up with your actions. Actions speak louder than words here.
• Recognize that everyone is different, so ask colleagues about work preferences that they appreciate. Learn how you affect them both positively and negatively. Then, adjust your work efforts appropriately.
• Get past the small talk. Seriously, the weather really isn't that interesting. Talk about things that truly matter to you. If you can to increase vulnerability and openness in your team, model it and set the example.

But truly, what you need to do is make this part of your culture, who you are as a team and organization.

Doing so will actually unlock the potential of the good people you have now, and attract more of the right people to join in your vision.

Take Intentional Action

If interested in getting serious about this topic, I am creating some new program offerings to increase innovation by increasing connection in the workplace.

Please reach out to me here on LinkedIn or email me at [email protected] to learn more.

Accelerate Your Progress

If you're ready to accelerate your leadership further and want some help doing it, here are a few ways I can help when you're ready:

1. Grab my Free 90 Day Guide for New Engineering Leaders - complete with an explanatory document and workbook to create a personal plan
2. Schedule a free call with me to talk about getting personalized 1:1 and group support on your goals.

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