#94: We miss you Papa!

To my loving Grandpapa,

It’s been 34 years to the day when my grandad passed away.

He was an endearing figure in my developing years and someone who’s shadow I loved to be in and someone who is really missed.

Papa was a troubled soul. He was fighting some sort of demons inside and while it was easy for one to criticise and pass judgements, no one really walked in his shoes to understand his depression, his pain and why he was the way he was.

Alcohol was probably a way out of it and in hindsight while people looked down on him for being an alcoholic, it was perhaps a part of the solution - for him at least!

I was too young then to understand, but had he still been around today, I would make sure he had the finest single malt to drink that money could buy.

We underestimate how mental issues first of all affect the person and then the family.

In a middle class household where my grandmother was trying her best to make ends meet, to the average outsider it may have appeared that my grandfather was a good for nothing.

My grandfather when sober, was the nicest person to be around, extremely charming and blessed with the gift of the gab.

We spent a lot of time together as he used to take me out wherever he used to go (incl. the local liquor bars).

It was normal for me to take the school bus home but what was unusual was that and on Mon, 9 Feb 1987, I saw surprisingly my mom who had come to pick me up from the bus stop.

As we walked home, she told me, “Papa has gone!”

I was puzzled and I asked innocently, “Where has Papa gone?”

She replied, “Gone to heaven!”

Words could not express my disbelief and shock at the sudden passing of my grandfather.

Today at 45, I still think about him, love him and miss him. I wish I had the maturity then as I have now, and perhaps I would haven been able to help Papa through his illness.

We poke fun at people without knowing what they are going through. One can only imagine the ‘80’s and how topics like this would have been considered taboo!

Papa loved to drink, and always said to me, “Baba, when you grow up, you will buy me liquor won’t you?”

Well today Papa, I have a bar with the finest alcohol gathering dust and I would happily give it all to you, if only I could see you again, even if only for a minute!

Love you, miss you and will see you again when it’s my time to be united with the creator. Till then, watch over me and my family and know that we miss your guiding light, your presence and your love.

If only we had more time....

Your loving grandson,

Elton