We Know Why This Happened
Pamela DeNeuve
Stuck in your legal career or personal life? Let's clarify your goals, overcome obstacles, and enhance your work-life balance.
Lawyers and doctors understand.
It is easier not to think or talk about it.
Here is where it all begins.
LAWYERS & DOCTORS
When a young person chooses the difficult course to become a lawyer or doctor, it becomes a mission.
Many hours, days, weeks, months, and years of a young man's or woman's life is consumed towards this goal.
In most cases, practicing law or medicine is not as glamorous as they had hoped.
In fact, it is very demanding and challenging.
A LOSS?
On April 2, 2022, we received this news:
'Force of Nature': Top Litigator Slade McLaughlin Dies by Suicide at 65?
(link to the article is in the comment section)
LAWYERS UNDERSTAND
When lawyers hear that a fellow attorney has committed suicide, they pause and become quiet.
Many attorneys hold their breath and look down.?
They understand the pressures that caused this loss to his family, wife, children, and parents.
Practicing law is a life of deadlines, heavy workload, and making sure to have the pretense that they have it all under control.
A sign of weakness is not acceptable.
THE AFTERMATH
After hearing the news about the suicide, surviving attorneys shake it off and try to focus on the work on their desks.
There are deadlines to adhere to, and it's business as usual. Until...
Research by the Task Force For Lawyer Well Being, published by the American Bar Association, states that:
? 1 out of every 11 lawyers has at least contemplated suicide.
? 1 out of every 4 lawyers is either depressed, anxious, or addicted.
? Lawyers are expected to keep up a front and have all the answers.
领英推荐
? The law comes first, before mental, emotional, or physical health.
? Clients have no compassion. They are eager for lawyers to solve their problems.
? Lawyers become accustomed to a life of backlog, overwhelm and pressure.
? The deadlines keep coming relentlessly.
? When an attorney makes a mistake, they beat themselves up for not being perfect.
? Billable hours and client needs are more important than family.
? Too many lawyers are lonely, in debt, and in financial trouble.?
? Some are addicted, and heavily sedated with prescription drugs.
? They maintain a facade of having it together pushes everyone away who might offer help.??
H.A.L.T.
There is a saying about halting in one's law practice.
H: Don't become too hungry
A: Don't become too angry
L: Don't become too lonely
T: Don't become too tired
This is why my clients have 24/7 access to me
P.S.
Keep your support on speed dial, a friend, coach, colleague spouse to help you get off the ledge on a bad day.
I can imagine Slade's final moments. He is alone, hopeless, feeling that there is nowhere to turn.?
He was overcome, overwhelmed, and either?afraid?or too?proud?to ask for help.
Don't struggle alone. Direct Message
me to talk.
Coach | Father | Entrepreneur
2 年Very valuable article, thanks for sharing!
Productivity & Time Management Consultant to Attorney Owners/Partners ?? | Go From Being ''Busy'' To PRODUCTIVE! ?? | Follow Me! ??
2 年Great post, thank you for sharing Pamela DeNeuve! So many people are doing what they don't like doing but they invested a lot of money and time. Also, other people expect them to behave in a certain way or achieve certain things in life. I have seen that a lot among doctor friends. It is not directly related but I used to study Ph.D. and halfway through my studies I understood I will not work in academia and I do not want to invest several more years just to get the diploma. It was a hard decision but I walked away. I felt like I let my family down, my partner down, and they openly said to me how disappointed they were. I myself knew I did the right decision. What was so interesting was that when I told what I did to a couple of my Ph.D. friends, they opened up and said that they hate it, they have no motivation to finish, they drag through their studies and cannot complete their work, they are depressed and lonely BUT they cannot quit and walk away because they INVESTED SO MANY YEARS, they afraid what people say, what parents say. That moment opened my eyes to how trapped we are in this system that has huge expectations of us behaving in a certain way.
Attorney | Success Coach | Podcaster| Author | Entrepreneur | Speaker | Wellness Advocate - helping you build a successful and fulfilling life
2 年Emotional wellness for lawyers is a real issue. I practice HALT on a daily basis.
Nonprofit Coach & Consultant | Empowering Nonprofit Leaders, Boards, and Organizations to Build Strong Foundations & Drive Mission-Driven Growth
2 年The sad fact of thinking you are alone is so overwhelming and so hard to understand. Many who feel so alone, we see as having so many resources to go to for help. We can't imagine that they could be feeling this way. It is a great reminded that we never truly know what is going on in someones head.
Branding & marketing expert| Business owners, nail your branding & marketing to sell yourself more successfully & grow your business in 90 days | Coach, Consultant | Free power positioning consult ??
2 年These are some statistics you shared, Pamela. This one really got to me: 1 out of every 4 lawyers is either depressed, anxious, or addicted. Funny, so many people in my family were lawyers but as a child I never realized how stressful it is. You are providing such a valuable service to help lawyers regain their lives.