We Are Here To Transform Each Other

What separates 'great 'teams from 'not so great 'teams? The working definition of Team can mean any group of people interconnecting in life, professionally or personally, together. Hold this thought* (read on to bottom)

The truth is, and the distillation I have gleaned, as an educator, has been teach children how to own their own choices, be a leader in their own life, to take responsibility for everything that comes and doesn't come their way. The point of a happy and whole life is to find meaning, to find purpose, to find values and to birth some virtues, perhaps noticed by others, but certainly by oneself, first.

All humans thrive on social connection. As social neuroscientists have found, we thrive and lean into positive social interactions. Some examples are when you're speaking either in conversation or on Zoom, or presenting a project or an opinion, a 'share' in any environment- where you receive a 'thumbs-up' or a nod of heads- all showing you are seen, you are of value, you have worth, and we love your presence. We get a hit of dopamine in that moment, that 'feel good' brain chemistry that helps our happiness factor, our memory and focus. So these are all good sensations. All is well.

Now, conversely, what happens when you are not out in the world, or not favorably received when you are. What happens when you work remotely, with less frequent interactions of being seen, whether with your local barista, the person who hands you your change or a receipt at the grocer, cleaners, barbershop or hair salon, or even the person who pumps your gas. If you miss these somewhat 'boring' to-dos, you also miss being seen, valued, smiled at, told to 'Have a good day' and to hear, 'See you next time.' It all matters. We miss those moments that have the potential to bolster that self worth. Remember, we matter. Together.

We are all wired for this 'social interaction' not to shy away from it. It is what feeds my soul, no matter where I go with whomever, wherever and whatever age group is in my midst. My 93 year old mom still asks me, "Do you have to speak to everyone you meet?' Yes, an emphatic yes! I love the human connection as do my socially connected counterparts in each interaction, even the groundskeeper who manages the cleanliness in the local gym. Thank you. You are seen. You are beautiful and I thank you for all you do to make this area shine, just like the smile we greet one another with.

Dr. Matthew Lieberman, professor at UCLA and neuroscientist, dedicated his work and examined the neural bases of social cognition, emotion regulation, persuasion, social rejection, self-knowledge, and fairness. All things present in any system of human beings whether in the boardroom, Zoom calls, the classroom, within a school's culture, parent-teacher conferences, faculty-team meetings and/or in-service professional or personal development moments and so much more.

Harvard Business Review researched and tracked as to what the most impactful attribute a potential C-suite employee would need to thrive. Twenty-plus years ago it was 'grunt, power, force, climb-to-the-top' no matter who you crawled over or stepped upon' - all on the way to the top. This--- vs. the soft skills of life- continue to take more of a center-stage in our present state of the world- the 'how we 'are' with one another' and what can we do to be more effective 'human' beings, not human 'doings'. The state of 'being-ness' and the work of my contemplative contemporaries and teachers, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Thich Nhat Hanh, Tara Brach, Yogiraj Alan Finger, Sally Kempton, Dr. Douglas Brooks -all these wisdom-based and heart centered practitioners of meditation and yoga have frothed and bubbled over the past years. Our culture is beginning to see the impact of what and how soft skills can impact our momentum as advocates for next generations. We all need more positive human connection, than not.

This brings us back to educators, educational systems, where we 'catch' our youth by kindergartners and release them into the world-at-large as a high school graduate. At best, we get to entrain them to be the latest, greatest version and their most optimal self. Truly a 360 degree whole view of Life. I have taken my 45+ years of yoga influencers and teachers of lifestyle, heart-centered wisdom-based holistic education and have brought it back to the mainstream. Not only for yogis who want to re-source themselves, or further their yoga education, but to executives, attorneys, physicians, CEOs, Students, those who suffer with grief, shame, depression, anxiety- all facets of the human experience.

Here is my pedagogical model: Build a culture of belonging. That's it. BELONGING.

When we do build this as an inherency to our culture, we thrive, we get a dopamine hit, we feel positive emotions. These are all prosocial behaviors creating momentum toward effective collaboration and positive experiences for being alive. In any organization- school system, corporation, family- if we do not build this kind of environment - we then must ask, 'What would be the cost of not?'

MAJOR TAKE-AWAY: Self worth is determined and defined by your social worth.

If you are not out and about, how can you feel positive self esteem. Self esteem is the sense of belonging to the greater whole, the human social web, to receive all the non-verbal clues (head nods aka "I hear you, I see you, you're amazing, you have worth) thus, the attributes a positive environment engenders.

Now, let's bring this back to our educational system and all those that interface with it. Over the past decade I have done research, collected data on all these soft skills- evident or not, and if so, how so- on this realm and landscape? I have counseled families who struggle with the lack of people/soft skills that made school life difficult for some students and their families. I have been a 'Bridger' so to seak, a yoga life coach, a natural lifestlye educator to bring wholeness back or create some, a tutor, counseled parents together as a couple- to create greater flow between home and school... and with each other intimately and personally. I have heard teachers confide, vent, whine about the state of their professional life and overheard things that hurt my heart. Here lies the value and nexus of all of the above.

Once such solution to much of the above is the progress of educators participating in a professional development program involves nurturing SEL, interpersonal skills, and aligning their approach with attitudinal, alignment, and action steps (IAP). This foundation is of paramount importance, as educators and their administration who earnestly adopt and optimize their personal development emerge as catalysts for influential leadership and impactful teaching. Remarkably, this dedicated commitment radiates throughout the school's culture, infusing it with a sense of positivity and nurturing essence.

The interconnection between all aspects of my life's experience has brought me back to my colleagues in the educational world. Leadership is all about change. Synonymous. Leaders are not 'status-quo' deliverers...they are about CHANGE. And as leaders, we must inspire our people and get to know them. To come out of 'status-quo' thinking, we need to encourage our people to do more than they think they can. Out of-the-box thinking, wherein there is no-box so 'change aka leadership' can occur.

The case has been made. As a leader, I have silently, (okay, maybe not so silently) witnessed the topography of my profession from the late 1970s to the present moment. There was no-time to teach breath awareness, too much curriculum to get through, no time in our day to add in a MindBody connection and if it was, it was rather received as a 'gym" class moment.

But then came COVID. Then came school shootings. Then came cutting and child suicides.Then came remote learning. Remote teaching. Then came more stress and nervous system burnouts. Ah, it is from then and now that it is being well received. These heart-centered themes complemented our human experience. 'Belonging' was at its peak during COVID. We all were faced with a pandemic. This common experience drove systems, whether educational or not, to a higher level into the fabric of our prosocial moments.

Using my 'wise-mind' and yoga teacher trainings- what I carried as my foundational backpack- to honor my clients/students mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing with the theme: Team Emotional Intelligence. This has really moved the needle for all involved, pandemic or not, -from parent, to teacher, to student, to administration to the actual physical community with which each school sits within.

Let's continue to build a culture of BELONGING

As my mom says, "You get more with honey, than you do with vinegar. "

She is always and forever, be my guru. I feel seen, heard and maybe not always agreed with, but loved as well.