Are We Having Fun All Wrong?

My Story on ….

Exec - Sara, can you walk down to the war room with me for a minute? 

Me – Sure. What and where is the war room?

Exec - Yeah, the exec team has been working on our long-term vision and strategy for a couple weeks in the back-conference room.”

I walked in and every bit of wall was covered with ideas and plans. Then I saw my section (curious why I never got to be in the room until now, but that’s another article??) “Resident Experience.” There was one word written… 

FUN. 

That’s it. Fun.

“What do you think, Sara?” For the past 10 years I had silently battled against this word in my head as I listened to many executives and senior leadership insist it should be resounding battle cry for activities. 

For the first time, I was confident, knowing I had earned his respect, and replied honestly, without restraint. “Fun is actually one of the last words I would use for the strategy around resident engagement. Not sure the last time you spent talking with residents in a community, but fun is rarely a term residents or families use to describe their experience in senior living. Maybe that is the goal, but it is not the reality.”

I continued; “engagement is about connection in a community: friendship, support, creating a neighborhood, leaning one another when things are not easy, sharing secrets and wisdom of life. It’s not a never-ending youth camp or vacation, it is real life.” 

Thankfully that team trusted me enough to let go of the word fun and community became the focus during my remaining tenure. I hope it stuck! 

Fun in Senior Living

I believe fun is an extremely elementary and juvenile explanation to this wildly complex and fascinating time in life. I have spoken at length with residents about the notion of having more free time as you age, yet time never slows down. The irony mesmerizes me. There are still stressors and hard days. The week still has a cadence and not every day is the same just because there is not a structured career or family commitment. Friday’s are still special and most often Sunday’s are for laying low. People are extremely deliberate in how they spend their moments, pulling from their experience and understanding that time is not infinite.

Because of that wisdom many shy away from the antics of auctions using fake money, checkmarks for wearing a name tag, raffle tickets for attendance, and so on. Incentives are not bad to motivate people, but when they resemble a preschool reward system it is extremely difficult to regain credibility and respect from an older adult. You can strike out quick. It happens a lot!

What’s Wrong with the Fun Approach?

·      Fun is the reason most activity budgets spend more money on helium, balloons, streamers, confetti, inflatables, costumes, impersonators and party supplies than what is spent on physical mobility, strength, continued learning, artistic pursuits and brain health.

·      Fun is the reason the role lacks respect from staff and executives, satisfied upon hiring any person that is willing and excited to step in and “play” with residents.

·      Fun is the reason training and onboarding for the role is an afterthought. How do you train someone to play and have fun all day? You do not, because that is not a real job, unless you are a clown.

·      Fun is the reason data and metrics rarely exist in engagement programming. Fun is extremely hard to quantify from a scientific lens.

·      This idea of fun may be the reason why people who would benefit the most from “community” are turned off by senior living.

·      Fun is the reason we have programs and offerings that seek to distract from the complex situations that accompany transitioning into senior living rather than training this same staff on how to have the difficult and uncomfortable conversations.

·      In the new COVID world, fun is the absolute last thing I would use to describe what someone will experience when, and if they move in.

This conversation to move beyond fun is much more complex, deeply rooted, pervasive and will not be well received by many. Why? Because it requires a ton of work, education, commitment, oversight, and development of people to amend. But it truly is the heart of the community we seek to sell. I believe the longer we sit by idly, watching staff members on the ground level rely on one another for tips, training, ideas, budget clarity, resources and tools for planning and organizing fun, the less attractive senior living becomes to the outside world.

The Professional & Corporate View of Engagement

Last week Angela Burton asked on LinkedIn “What words do you associate with an older person?” The responses – wisdom, history and mentor were cited most often. Others included

mentor, learning, teaching, helping, guiding, available, approachable, stalwart, entrepreneurial, experienced, knowledgeable, gracious, giving, guidance, hope, wealth of experience, wise, advice, flexibility, history keeper, funny, candid, forgiving, growth & resilient.

When I read such words the thought of these same people spending their last years attending a slew of fun activities reduces me to near embarrassment for the industry. I am saddened that this approach is the best we can do to offer opportunities for people to stay mentoring, helping, available, teaching and vibrant. Trust me, some organizations are crushing it and have uncovered the secrets to engagement. Well done! However, the majority still fall into the old approach, and the majority is what people see when they look at whole that is senior living.

The LinkedIn world around engagement in senior living is elevated and progressive. The problem is the rich education and thought sharing is not being received, or even welcomed where it matters the most – Those on the ground doing the real work.

The Reality - Facebook is the LMS for Activity Staff

There are 5 or so “Activity Professional” Facebook pages that garner a following of 6-11K followers each. That is where you go if you want to see the true “state of the industry” as it relates to activities and engagement. It is humbling and I would recommend every executive spend time reading through the comments and admitting there is room for improvement. There is a huge disconnect between what we have marketed on websites and collateral and what is really happening inside the walls. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/ActivitiesCalendarExchange

https://www.facebook.com/groups/enrichingelders

https://www.facebook.com/groups/395882734197594

https://www.facebook.com/groups/694940873931517/?multi_permalinks=3557224404369802

It is evident, as acuity increases, the more focus on “fun and entertainment.” Skilled nursing is where the “fun and play” mindset it most prevalent, but still incredibly popular in all levels. The problem with fun in high acuity is there are more physical and mental barriers that may restrict fun. Laughter, absolutely not!

Do not get me wrong, there is an incredulous need for fun, laughter, humor, joy, banter and joking in all stages of life. Especially into later life. However, the overarching theme to how one enjoys their last years of life cannot simply be depicted as just having fun.

For those of us grinding away the day to day managing families, careers, children, homes and the other 27 items on the list, being able to check out and have fun does not sound so bad.  But that is a different life stage, and we must live through each phase before we assume. Until then, we need to spend more time asking residents how they want to spend their time, not just inquiring “what do you like to do for fun.”

Call to Action

In 2021 put a plan in place to ensure your resident programming staff is educated, trained and does not rely on Facebook posts to find tips and secrets on how to do their job.