We have to start talking about Post-Graduation Depression among Young Professionals

Life as a recent college grad can feel really overwhelming. You have all these ambitious goals for yourself but sometimes it is hard to live up to your own (and society’s) expectations and to find the motivation to turn these dreams into reality because you don’t even know where to begin.

The post-graduation life is definitely less glamorous than it was made out to be. You went to school for 16+ years of your life and yet you felt like your academic career did not prepare you for many of the things that adulthood would eventually throw at you. How do I manage my money? How do I find community in a new city? How do I maintain long-distance friendships? How do I build my professional brand? How do I navigate my gender identity in the workplace? How do I practice mindfulness and take care of my mental health? How do I find my purpose in life? 

So many questions. Very few answers. As a result, you enter a state of paralysis and keep procrastinating on starting to lead a more fulfilling, purpose-driven life. But then you become even more depressed and start feeling guilty for not figuring out your next steps and that compounds the problem. You continue to push your own happiness into the future because you keep telling yourself that things will get better. Six months have passed, twelve months have passed, 18 months have passed and you feel just as miserable and anxious as you did one and a half years ago. You want to stop feeling overwhelmed, anxious and lost. You wish there was an actionable plan and a set of positive habits you can implement that guarantees success. You are dreaming of a fulfilling career where you can have a positive impact on people, gain financial independence and overall happiness. Sound familiar? 

I have been there

I have been there. At the peak of my state of paralysis and post-graduation depression, I was crying at least three times a week, which oftentimes turned into anxiety attacks. I became less and less social, which compounded my feelings of loneliness. I dreaded living in the reality that I had created for myself. Although at the time it felt more like as if life was happening to me rather than me being in control of my own fate. I wasn’t in the driver’s seat anymore. 

On paper everything looked great. I had graduated with various distinctions from one of the most prestigious universities in the world. I was working for one of the most prestigious and fast-growing tech companies globally. I had just moved to a new city in a new country and was surrounded by some incredibly smart, talented, fun and kind people. And yet I was feeling more miserable than I had ever felt before. 

As someone who had absolutely loved her college experience, I thought it was only me who was having trouble adjusting and establishing a new sense of identity that wasn’t tied to being a student.

At first, I thought I was the only one who was struggling. As someone who had absolutely loved her college experience, I thought it was only me who was having trouble adjusting and establishing a new sense of identity that wasn’t tied to being a student. However, once I started having more and more vulnerable conversations with my friends, I realized that I was in fact not the only one who was struggling. No matter where we were living, how prestigious our employer was or how much money we were making, we were all going through a similar experience. We were all missing being part of a tight-knit, purposeful community through the plethora of shared spaces that college provided us with. We all felt anxious and lost.

Shame and guilt

When post-graduation depression is so real, why are we not openly talking about it? The truth is, most young professionals - including myself - experience some form of guilt for feeling this way. We were so lucky to have received a college education in the first place and having been financially supported by our parents throughout our academic careers that we think complaining is simply inappropriate due to our inherent privilege. A good friend of mine whom I recently interviewed phrased it very eloquently: "We have such high expectations of ourselves, especially after this joyous situation of graduating from a great school and having this diploma that we worked so hard on, that it really feels shameful to not to have as great of a story for a sequel."

Additionally, according to therapists, post-graduation depression is understudied because "[y]oung adulthood isn’t a population that is well studied at all. From a research perspective, it’s hard to categorize them,” said psychologist and professional counselor Sheryl Ziegler in an interview with The Washington Post. San Francisco based psychologist and former University of Berkeley Fellow Juli Fraga compares graduating from college to motherhood: "Post-grad depression is under-reported because graduation is like motherhood: culturally seen as a seemingly joyful time, which makes it even more shameful for someone to admit that it’s not." According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 75% of all lifetime mental illnesses develop by age 24, so it is not surprising that young professionals are particularly vulnerable.

"Post-grad depression is under-reported because graduation is like motherhood: culturally seen as a seemingly joyful time, which makes it even more shameful for someone to admit that it’s not."

Being confident about successfully navigating the first few years after college as a young professional is challenging when you don’t feel like you’re set up for success and you're lonely. And what’s even worse is that nobody is preparing you for this rollercoaster of emotions that is awaiting you. I wish my alma mater had offered an "Adulting 101" course that would have prepared me for that transition.

Introducing Femme Hive

That’s why I recently started the “Femme Hive - Adulting 101 for Badass Women” podcast where I engage in genuine and vulnerable conversations with a diverse group of women from around the world on important topics young female professionals can relate to. By providing a space where young, ambitious women can gain collective compassion, inspiration and strength, I’m hoping to empower women to become more confident about successfully navigating adulthood to lead a fulfilling, purpose-driven life. If you are someone who has been going through a similar existential quarter-life crisis, I am inviting you to join me and hundreds of other young women on this journey. You are not alone.

Today - three and a half years after receiving my college degree - I am starting to feel better. But it’s a process. I have to make a conscious decision every day to allow each day that passes to take me closer to finding my purpose in life and who I want to be. 

Post-graduation depression is real. And we have to start talking about it.