“We have a job to do” - 2020 in review.

By Akshay Ruparelia ( https://www.akshayruparelia.com/)

PS - this is taking some leaves out of the article I wrote earlier this year.

PPS - I write for fun, only — this is also largely for my staff - to remind them of the importance of tenacity ad navigating difficult times. Published on LinkedIn for everyone else - because, why not?

So this year was a unique one? How do we remember such a well-anticipated year, that we now want to forget - after the 61 year old man in China died from a respiratory virus - on 11th January? By January - Wuhan build a 1,000 bed hospital in 8 days. There’s something they know, that we don’t.

By 23rd February - Italy rocket from 155 cases to 888 within 5 days. But at least in Britain, where we’re less worried, tweeting praise for Professor Chris Whitty.

Then, things get serious - by 23rd March - panic buying loo-roll hits the supermarkets, Premier League games are suspended and we’re locked down.

“Contagion”

The time that the indifferent became hypochondriacs. The time where the wealthy fled their countries. The time where our Prime Minister was incapacitated by the very thing he dedicated his soul and government to fighting. The time where you could only meet loved ones from across the street. The time where disposable gloves became the fastest growing e-commerce product and supermarket shelves became a stimulus for violent outbreaks of survival instincts. The time where every business, including my own, panicked, edged on the brink of survival and fear and exhaustively changed strategy 15 times a day to survive the crisis. The time where, by April, the horrible, horrible toll in a day in New York, has matched the heart-breaking toll of 9/11. Contagion.  It was by this point as a society - we realised, we have a job to do.

Summer

Summer comes around. By 7th June, our avid protestors flee to the streets again; pulling down statues - with space to express themselves over the international solidarity of Black Lives Matter; seeking justice, healing and freedom to Black people across the globe.

By 17th June, Premier League games, return to….empty stadiums and by 4th July - the country re-opens. Deaths are falling, pubs re-open and “Dishy Rishi” - gives us money off our eating-out bills and I get to celebrate my birthday (July) in my garden. The Government - such legends…right?

Not so much. A-level students suffer 39% of grades being lowered over Summer, and by 6th September - almost 3,000 test positive for Covid19. “Fresher’s week” for uni students comprises virtual zoom sessions; nothing like that of the traditional kind. Long awaited freedoms start to tumble, with an antiquated curfew and by the end of October, we hear the dreaded words all over again by the 5th November - lockdown…. whilst the Tier system is almost guaranteed to be around til March and unemployment rockets to 1.62 million. And yes, Christmas has been pretty terrible - despite a somewhat contrived breakthrough on Christmas Eve on Brexit - in a marginally Trump-esque manner - we’ve had to be separated on Christmas Day.

And for me, personally, it’s been tough. I’ve lost my Uncle (whom I used to also call “Dad”) - and my Granddad in the space of three weeks. Meanwhile, I’ve tested positive for Covid19 myself - alongside both parents (and most of my extended family) - of which my father has been hospitalised on oxygen (now thankful recovered after a few weeks). Bearing in mind - I have had to fight my way into the Covid ward to be a carer/interpreter to my dad whilst obsessively checking my mum’s oxygen saturation levels, temperature and throwing every home remedy to the wall in my own Covid Recovery Programme - whilst running the business (with the help of an INCREDIBLE team I must add), for example - hiring 6+ staff solely over zoom - whilst in self isolation. Why? Because I had a job to do…

But why have I painted such a vivid and horrendous picture of 2020? Because it’s time to wake up and remember the reality and positives:

• If it bleeds, it reads.

The above was pretty interesting, right? Because it was a pretty sombre summary of the contagion and mania we have experienced over the last year, but it’s negative. Mental health stems from brain health. The mind is the software to the hardware, which is your brain. Constant barrages of negative news sells well - but does YOU no justice.(e.g Poverty rate has halved in the last 50 years but in a survey, only c. 1% of people thought that was the case. Most thought it had increased).

Remember to take a step back, gain some perspective and wallow in some blank mindspace. It helps.

Re-calibrating your centre for happiness:

Fact, we’re smiling 32% less than this time last year. There are a lot of horrific tragedies and as of right now, there are more than 79 million cases of Covid-19 in the world. The fear and anger is understandable for both antediluvian social conservatives and the free-roaming liberals – partisanship doesn’t matter. But can we be the best versions of ourselves in a time of crisis – dominating the irrational fear of death and the infectious imbalance between judgement and balance. There is a beautiful fragility between the love of life and the loss of life – the interplay has been clear in the last few weeks. The global calling now supersedes superficial thoughts and trivial issues between those around you – now is about emotional resilience, wisdom, courage and solidarity. As coined by Susan David (Harvard emotional psychologist) – this time can teach us to reconstruct our anchor points for happiness. Not going clubbing this week, so you’re not happy? Wrong. And now is the time to deconstruct this false sign-post and narrative to look at what your new way of living is and learn what you value. This is also not to brush away anxiety or grief – but face into it – normalise it and learn how to develop this emotional agility; not judging our emotions or anxiety but learn to be with them. This level of development is something that’ll fortify our ability to grow and our core values, for the rest of our lives.

The turning point:

It seems like it’s nowhere to be seen, but the incredible efforts of the NHS - of which I have experienced now with my own eyes - are ones to be respected and revered. Alongside this, the end may be nigh with the quickest turnaround of a vaccination we have ever seen. Not just is the Oxford effort an incredible one - it’s a more cost effective route to the end of this chapter. That is collective solidarity and effort - at it’s finest.

So time for the atavistic blame game to be stopped too. “The greater the threat – the greater the lust for a scapegoat”. Legitimate calls for accountability are being lost in the noise of social media hysteria – over vitriolic rubbish about Professor Whitty’s appearance or calls to kick Mr Hancock off the job? Inflammatory language and synthetic outrage is crowding out the voice for rational debate and expertise, especially as we are threatening progress - as retrospective judging of our government figures may push them into defence-mode, where they are afraid to chart our territory as a country in our biggest peacetime challenge. So, cut some slack, encourage conviction and expert opinion - because the finishing line is near.

Pain shared is pain divided. And we’re coming out the other end. Here’s how we can deal with it:

I’ve laid down my stream of consciousness above, almost journaled, because we have all experienced it. All in our own different ways, we have experienced this year. Looks like a movie, but it’s not. And I’ve learnt a hell of a lot about myself and generally, including Stoic teachings on how we can respond moving forward. For example:

--> Champions. Champions are defined by the ability to move forward. Champions get hit, they just get back up and move forward, rather than not getting hit. Are you being hit, but not getting back up? Remember, the struggle is part of the story. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it - block out negatives, reinforce positives and build your story. Each difficulty and knock makes the story better - you just need to be there to tell the story.

--> Embracing change. Change has 6 phases. Change (Disruption, Denial and Resistance) - and Order (Acceptance, Order and Implementation). Are you embracing change by paying attention to the latter, or stuck in the former?

--> This is not the first time, we have a job to do. This is not our first crisis. Every single person in a crisis has a job to do. So whether it’s leaders or do-ers, we all have a vital contribution to get through this - so make sure you play your part - as we have been through worse as a species. My job in serving my parents, family and business - was something I embraced and understood. And frankly, grateful I have been able to do so.

--> Keep to your rhythm. You may not have asked for a pandemic - but it’s here. No one promised life would always be fair - and if you keep to philosophy of returning to your centre and your philosophical rhythm - you can overcome it. Personally, having navigated supporting a family with Covid, being hospitalised briefly twice myself this year, and several bereavements - I have taken on stance - to not lose my rhythm where possible. Show up and get back on the beat, even if you missed a few; it avoids disconnect and discontent.

--> Pay attention to what we can control. We cannot control what happens, but only how we respond - keep this in mind. Your emotions, desires, responses and reactions are all in your control - and that’s what will determine how you feel and manage this crisis.

Gratitude is the way forward:

We have been through worse before. We have been through pandemics. What do you think happened without record breaking research or technology to support interconnectedness? How many people do you think died in prehistoric times when we had no means to record it? It certainly wasn’t as advanced as we have now. So we need to embrace what we DO have. Remember what we CAN control. Remember the job WE must play. And remember, that One day this will all be a distant memory. The distant memory where the world came together in overwhelming solidarity to support each other. The time where social distancing and long supermarket queues gave us a newfound respect for all workers and the health and hygiene of those around us. The time where we realise the world we take for granted; date nights happening on Facetime and Houseparties without houses. The time where we got to stop, think and drive ourselves and businesses forwards. The time where boredom became a commanding stimulus for creativity and future livelihoods. The time where pollution levels plummeted and I could see the stars at night. The time where postmen dressed up in fancy dress because they were the only humans we’d come into contact with for days on-end. The time where we applauded our honourable NHS and front-line staff, with indefinite gratitude. And the time where we learnt to live in this new world with gratitude and out the other side….remembered that we all had a job to do.