We Get to Get to

"Get to" ?? instead of "Have to." ??

Think to yourself "I have to mow the lawn." How do you feel?

I feel heavy, annoyed, it's going to be hot, a time suck, I'll probably have to do some weeding too, and then just do it all over again. Big unhappy SIGH.

Instead, think to yourself, "I GET to mow the lawn!" (Work with me here.)

Now I feel like I'm about to do something productive, having the yard spruced up will be nice, feels good to get some exercise outdoors doing something productive, maybe I'll plant a few sunflower seeds while I'm out there, and I'll be set until next time. Big liberating EXHALE!

That one subtle word change can make all the difference.

My point? ??

One thing that has come thru in near all my discussions over the last 3 years with so many lawyers is that we sorta kinda like our jobs okay enough (and we feel silly griping about usually pretty well paying jobs and privileged lives), but still just sheepishly have this nagging feeling that maybe there is something else out there that would give us that extra BOOST.

And maybe that's true. Or, just maybe, sometimes, the extra boost is actually already in YOU.

"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?" - Captain Jack Sparrow ??

Imagine all those work tasks that cause internal negative thoughts, and make you fantasize about that idyllic mood enhancing job. You "have to" answer discovery (tedious), or "have to" redline a contract (ugh, again), or "have to" bill some more hours ("never ends"). It all FEELS so obligatory and value-less.

But...if you "GET to" answer discovery (opportunity to help the client and move the case forward), "GET to" redline a contract (maybe I will find a new angle), or "GET to" bill some hours (grateful for the work that helps me earn and support my family), the brain just hijacks the negativity biased mind and redirects it on a whole different positive...PATH!

Science!??

This is, in part, likely because of what social psychologist Ayelet Fishbach identifies as the meaningful difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivations -- "If you can find a way to make the path to your goal enjoyable or exciting, you'll be intrinsically motivated...When we find ways to make exercise or work or even organizing a messy closet more enjoyable, we make it easier for ourselves to follow through...."

Using this one subtle reframe in your language may do wonders for your moment to moment mindset, and the positive energy that can FLOW from that can lead to a tsunami of endless JOY! (Too much? Alright, would you settle for a slightly better mood and day to day contentment, on occasion? I'm sure you would.)

Thanks for reading, something else you don't HAVE to do, but GET to do!

Woot! ??

??: Beautiful Day by U2 ("What you don't have you don't need it now; What you don't know you can feel it somehow; What you don't have you don't need it now; Don't need it now; It was a beautiful day.")

??: Get it Done: Surprising Lessons from the Science of Motivation by Ayelet Fishbach

???: “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”- Winston Churchill