We found Wally ... and his mates

You remember last week's newsletter? The one where I proclaimed that I was just getting going in my fifties, ready for anything, so much to give etc etc. Well, turns out I spoke too soon.

The Start and End of My Political Career

I'm not now and never have been affiliated to any political party but as regular readers will know, I do follow politics and I have plenty of political opinions. I also believe (see below) that I could do a better job of many of the wallies we currently have in post.

I acknowledge, however, that it's easy to criticise from the sidelines and much braver to step forward and do something about it. So I was delighted, a few weeks ago, to read about Civic Future, an organisation founded by Munira Mirza (who resigned from Boris Johnson's number ten team in disgust at his smearing Kier Starmer over Jimmy Savile). Their main aim is to encourage more people from diverse backgrounds to consider a career in politics, equipping them for the challenge through a one year fellowship programme of training & education.

The course is free, designed to be completed alongside your day job and not aligned with any particular party. I signed up for the "find out more" webinar.

All was going swimmingly, until the team were about to wrap up. One final question (not from me):

Is there an age limit?

I guffawed. As if any initiative to encourage more diversity of thought and improve the quality of political debate would exclude people on the basis of age. I waited for the simple answer. "No". Except that wasn't the answer.

We're aiming at people in early to mid-career but we could conceivably consider someone in their forties .... though we think that's probably unlikely.

Reader, I was speechless. I mean, what on earth do they mean by "early to mid-career." At this point I've had at least four careers. I had a career, now ended, as a management consultant. I had a brief foray into a career as a blogger but the less said about that the better. I had a fulfilling and extremely un-lucrative career as a writer, which could not be sustained due it not generating the income necessary to really be termed a "career"; and finally, here I am 4 years into my role as an entrepreneur. Early career, then.

Obviously, when they say "Early to mid-career" they mean "People in their thirties".

Well, apologies to people in their thirties but you only have to look at the current candidates on The Apprentice to get a sense of how useful they'd be running the country.

So it's back to criticising from the sidelines.

(By the way, just received the Civic Future newsletter which asked me to promote their work their network. As I have just done that and since the rest of the content was dull, I am now unsubscribing).

Where's Wally

Most weeks, I make little notes of ideas for items to feature in this newsletter. This week, I had planned to ask if anyone had seen Jeremy Hunt lately. He appeared to have disappeared. Or is that an oxymoron?

Then up he popped, to announce a plan for how the country will achieve its growth objectives.

Except he didn't. As anyone born before 1990 will know, it's important that when setting objectives, you make sure they are "SMART" (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound).

What you don't do is come up with a vague list of words inspired by the latest Oscar nominated film (did anyone else suspect he'd just been to see "Everything, Everywhere all at Once?).

Not only did Jeremy have his 4 Es, he also made reference to Sunak's 1 - 5 priorities, which are equally vague on detail. (The first, by the way - halving inflation - has nothing to do with him anyway, since controlling inflation is the Bank of England's job. Also, we're constantly being told that high inflation is being caused in large part by the war in Ukraine and soaring energy prices. If the Government claims not be part of the cause, they can't come along and claim to be the solution).

And what takes priority? An E or a number? Duh!

Another not very clever suggestion

As well as his 5 Es. Or was it 4 Es and a 1-5? I've lost the plot already ... the right honourable member also shared his vision for the UK to be the next Silicon Valley.

Let's hold it right there. Silicon Valley was the birthplace of several tech behemoths, tremendously successful and world domineering ... who have just recently announced thousands of layoffs.

Silicon Valley also suffers with a terrible homeless situation (over 10,000 at the last count), due to the massive gap between the rich and poor and inflated house prices caused by all those tech geeks with tonnes of cash to splash (pre-lay offs).

A lack of investment in public transport and infrastructure means that road congestion is a big problem. So I guess in some respects he's right and we're there already.

Note to Jeremy: Energy is the New Tech

Can someone please pass this message on to the Chancellor.

Don't talk to me until ...

I don't want to hear from any politician until they can say something sensible about what I personally believe to be real priorities (sorry people, but "stopping the boats" doesn't feature).

1. Admit that Brexit has so far been ruinous to our economic prosperity and come up with a plan to fix it. This could mean rejoining the Common Market, I don't know, but get it sorted. The Brexit vote was won on a pack of lies and many people (I know a few in the North) who voted for it can now see that.
2. Develop a properly funded energy strategy that sets out how we're going to invest in green energy - solar, wind, hydrogen, nuclear - over the long long long long term. This will create jobs.
3. Sort out the Transpennine Express. And all those other rail lines that link cities north of Birmingham to each other.

I'd add something about post 16 education and skills but I'm less clear on that and unlike many politicians I prefer not to dabble in something about which I know very little.

Tax

It's not complicated, right? The top rate of tax in the UK is 45%. So, if you're a higher rate tax payer and you earn money outside of the PAYE system, you need to set aside around 45% of what you earn ready to pay your tax bill.

Top tip: If, when it comes in, your tax bill is a lot less than 45% of the cash you've pulled in, you're probably involved in some sort of Tax avoidance activity. This is a grey area; usually legal but open to question and possibly illegal. If you hold any sort of public office or any position where you're expected to hold high ethical standards, think again.

Scratch that last bit, just think again.

I'm sad

I'm on a train heading back to London from Yorkshire (this particular line does work well by the way). I came up yesterday to spend a couple of days with my mum. (That's not why I'm sad, by the way, she's doing really well. 83, goes to the gym 3 times a week, has loads of friends, active in the church and community and not afraid to rock an outfit with multiple different animal prints).

No, it's not my mum. It's Sheffield and specifically Sheffield City centre. Except you'd be hard pushed to point to where Sheffield City centre actually is. I lived near the city in the 70s, 80s, and 90s and saw the industrial decline brought about by closure of the steel mills and the mines. And yet the city still had heart. The Wig & Pen was a gastropub before anyone knew what a gastropub was; Chapel Walk had lots of interesting independent shops, Fargate was a pleasure to walk down.

Today? Shops are boarded up, John Lewis has pulled out, there is no department store in the city centre, the streets are shabby and drab. Yes, there are nice pockets away from the city centre, but that's not the point. How can the relevant authorities allowed this decline to take place in the 21st century?

The next time a member of the Government wants to pontificate about "levelling up" please can they pick a spot somewhere near Fargate today.

I'm Happy

I have found a new love. Nordic skiing. There are no lifts, no queues and no hurtling down pistes surrounded by idiots going too fast, terrified that you are about to break a leg/arm/vital piece of anatomy. It's not without its terrors, though. The skis have no edges so "stopping" and "slowing down" are interesting concepts. I only did it for an hour and the only photos I have are of me on the floor unable to get up, so you don't need to be seeing them, but it was one of the most exhilarating hours of the year so far. I'll be back for more.

I'm reading: The Marriage Portrait by Maggie O'Farrell. Beautiful writing but I'm not hooked yet. However if you missed last week, I just finished Shrines of Gaiety by Kate Atkinson and I can thoroughly recommend it. Tremendous romp through London in the 20s, great characters, engaging story, very well told. Writer on top of her game.

I'm watching: Happy Valley - obviously. Who do we think is going to die? Do you think the Health and Safety Board will get the Knezevics? What's the PE teacher going to do next? What is Alison putting in the Land Rover? What's Joyce going to do for Catherine's leaving do?

I'm also watching: The First Lady. About Eleanor Roosevelt (Gillian Anderson), Betty Ford (Michelle Pfeiffer) and Michelle Obama (Viola Davis). I'm finding the first two story lines really interesting - knew little about them. The problem with the Michelle and Barack section is that you sort of know the story and the actors just aren't as glamorous or compelling as the real life players. The total opposite of what usually happens with this sort of series. (By the way, did anyone continue with the latest series of The Crown? I abandoned it at episode 3.)

I'm listening to: A PD James novel - The Private Patient. I do like a bit of Adam Dalgleish to entertain me.

Right, that's it folks. I'm off. Please do send me any bright ideas you have for the future of our economy. Those wallies in government need all the help they can get.

No, wait. I remember now, my offer of help was rejected.