Are We Forgiving The Right Situation?

Do you like reading traditional scriptures? If you have been following me for some time, you might have realized my fondness for them. I view them as a source to learn more about human behavior and life in general. I want to share the latest piece I read and what I learned about anger and forgiveness from it.

King Bali And King Prahlada

Once King Prahlada was approached by King Bali who asked him, “Which is actually best, forgiveness or the use of strength?” After a brief thought, King Prahlada replied that every situation is different and using anyone in all situations is not the best strategy.

Forgiving every time would let the dependents and strangers gain disrespect for the person. The mean-minded dependents, with time, will no more respond to commands and steal away all one’s wealth. Whereas, punishing every time will make the person devoid of servants and friends. Nobody loves a person who does not know how to forgive. Therefore, practicing both at the right times is always suggested.

Forgive or Not?

Let’s see what King Prahlada has to say about forgiving and not. Here are the scenarios in which the person has to be forgiven according to him:

1. Even if a person has committed a grave mistake but has a clear past record.
2. The offense was done because of ignorance or foolishness.
3. If the offender did so for the first time.
4. Some wrong has been done against the will of the person.
5. Sometimes just to create a good public image the forgiveness must be given.

Who should not be forgiven?

1. Someone who claims to be innocent even after having committed a slight offense knowingly.
2. Someone who has offended for the second time. Even if the misdemeanor was small.

What To Know About Forgiveness (My Opinion)

Here are some of the aspects of forgiveness that are important according to me.

Why does it matter?

Forgiving at the right instances can help us improve our self-esteem, empowering us with safety and inner strength. There are many psychological benefits of forgiving including weakening the symptoms of Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, unhealthy anger, and depression.

Develop Empathy

When we think about forgiving, we develop empathy. Being in the shoes of the person will help you understand what they are going through and why they need to be forgiven. Empathy is important to react right in a given situation.

Forgive yourself

Most of the time we struggle to love ourselves more than we love other people. Forgiving ourselves and the actions we have done can be the first step to attain a sense of inherent worth. Everybody is imperfect, but accepting ourselves in the way we are can be life-changing.

Psychology of Anger

Source: Tenor

Feeling threatened, feeling rejected, and experiencing loss, anger can occur to people at any point in time. Anger cannot happen when we are alone, rather it always is a “second-hand emotion”.

Anger might offer a powerful boost to self-esteem but it is always temporary. You can unconsciously develop a habit of avoiding your vulnerabilities using anger. But always remember, “Anger can only distract you and not make your pain disappear.”

The Choice is Ultimately Yours

This is all about what I believe in and what I follow. The emotions and reaction you display, whether to forgive or not, completely depends on your discretion. What is your mantra?