We expect others to respond but are we responding to others?

Imagine you are desperately in need of a job referral or some critical information and you reach someone with regard to that context.

But there is no response from him/her.

What do you feel?

Low or frustrated, isn't it?

I am sure each one of us might have come across a similar situation at least once in our lifetime (but in reality, that count will be higher).

When we need something from others, we expect them to respond and close the loop whether they will be able to help or not. All we expect is some response from them.

In most cases, people may not be responding the same way as we expect and it disappoints us.

It happened to me on numerous occasions where I reach out to someone regarding some information/help but they are nonchalant.

It sounds familiar, isn't it?

After starting my podcast in May 2020, I've reached out to hundreds of people to join as a guest speaker or help to connect with someone they know.

6 out of 10 times, I get a positive response but when it comes to negative response, people are reluctant to say NO - which makes them BUSY, literally super busy that they don't even have 5 to 10 seconds to respond or close the loop.

However, that kind of nonresponsiveness didn't deter me from reaching strangers even now after TGV has become a strong brand.

I used to feel bad initially but my skin has thickened now and I don't care about nonresponsiveness. However, that didn't impact my attitude negatively. In fact, having gone through nonresponsiveness from people, I started being more responsive to others. Even to those irritating marketing calls and unsolicited messages on LinkedIn/FB messenger etc. I make sure that I am closing the loop with them by saying no confidently without feeling bad.

Because we have the right to say NO and we have to say NO if required.

Saying NO is not a bad thing at all. It creates credibility and a positive image of someone due to the fact that you are letting them know that you are not interested in something or you are not the right person to contact/connect with regarding that topic/lead.

I've done some study around why people are hesitant to close the loop and here are my observations(I may be wrong too).

1) People feel bad to convey a negative message - because conveying NO is much more difficult than conveying YES. We are all programmed to be Yes people.

2) People don't have time even 5 to 10 seconds to close the loop as they want to care about your stuff and they give priority to their stuff

3) They might have lost the context or might have missed your message or didn't understand your ask

4) They don't want to help you

5) They think that they don't need your help in the future or they think they don't need you/anyone else's help

6) And may be any other reason which they don't want to express.

Nonresponsive people have matured me as an individual and helped me act more responsibly.

But I always wonder how would they react in case if they don't get any response from the intended person when really need it.

When it comes to CSAT scores, companies train call center employees to check with the customers and confirm whether their query is resolved as per the expectations or not. Many companies monitor closed-loop conversations with customers and measure the performance of employees around that metric.

I think leaders and companies should also employees to coach their employees to close the loop on any sort of conversations that they have.

We should train our employees not to be hesitant to say no. We need to strongly remember that saying NO is also an option and it is absolutely okay to SAY NO. There is no need to let things hang around in the air.

Because saying NO with confidence and conveying a negative message boosts your credibility and will see you as an approachable person.

People see you as a responsible individual and try to close the loop with you.

I am curious to understand how you say NO with confidence and also how are you dealing with nonresponsive people.

Eager to learn some tips that make me a better leader and most importantly a human!

Thanks for reading