We Are Ethically Bankrupt - Why Fundraising Leadership is Failing

On the East Coast of Canada, we are cleaning up from Hurricane Fiona – one of the largest storms in Canadian history.?Swaths of coastline were decimated, towns devastated, and power infrastructure rendered useless.?I was extremely fortunate not to suffer any damage from the storm and my thoughts continue to be with the families and communities who have lost so much.

I see the helpers. I see the nonprofit staff who are out in community, trying to support those in need, and filling in the gaps.?I see the people who care deeply and who will, inevitably, continue to give in times of crisis.?I know that our sector, will once again, do what is needed to help repair the damage done by Fiona, and for that I am grateful.??

But this article is not about Fiona. This piece is not a love letter to the front-line staff in nonprofits and charities – though many of them deserve it. This piece is about a different type of destructive force than a hurricane – a more insidious and quieter one – that is embedded in the leadership of our sector.?

This piece is about the ethical incompetence of our sector leadership.??

"Ethics is about knowing what you have the right to do, and what is right to do."

- Potter Stewart

Fundraising is a strange profession.?We are effectively a conduit between a cause and a donor.?We are facilitators and negotiators. We go where we are needed, and we do it with the best interests of our cause in mind.

Major gift fundraising is particularly odd.?In this role, we ask fundraisers to meet with high net-worth individuals in positions of power.?The power dynamic between a major gift fundraiser and a major gift donor is skewed.?These donors are often powerful and influential community members used to being placated by those around them. They are used to having their demands met, and that dynamic plays itself out in their relationship with charities as well. ?

To succeed in this role, a major gift fundraiser must learn to bend and mold themselves, or fail miserably in their role.?They must learn what that high net-worth donor wants to ensure that they secure that?secure a “transformational gift .”?They are told time and time again, that their organization can reframe, reshape, or refresh a concept to fit that donor’s preferences.?The message becomes quite clear over time – learn to adapt to what those with wealth want.

This dynamic is ripe for abuse. I have written about it extensively about my own experience and you can find links to some of those articles here , here , here , and here .?As the co-chair of the AFP Fundraiser Bill of Rights Task Force , I hear stories of racism, sexism, bigotry, and discrimination on a regular basis.?Most are front-line staff who are aware that our sectors’ leaders are not doing enough to combat this issue.?They are tired of being exploited to meet their organizational objectives and metrics.

I’ve spent hours of my life working on webinars, training sessions, and facilitating workshops around this issue.?I have written extensively about my experience in the hopes it would remove the stigma for others. I hear from fundraisers who have endured similar abuse who see their story in my own. They are bravely navigating these conversations inside their organizations, and I admire them for their dedication and determination.

What continues to disappoint me is the lack of leadership from boards, CEOs, and executives in our sector around these issues.?They are not at the conference sessions, they are not participating in the discussions, and they are not showing up to do the difficult work. These leaders are not speaking up or speaking out against the transgressions of wealthy donors.?They are not declining gifts or telling these donors no.?Instead, they are taking their money and they are putting their names on walls, on buildings, and on endowments, to be immortalized for their “generosity."

There are exceptions to the rules, but they are few and far between. Most purport to be ethical leaders, but do very little when it comes to protecting their own people from abuse.?In doing this, our sector leaders are demonstrating they are ethically bankrupt.

There is a saying that the "fish rots from the head down." This means that if an organization or a system fails, it is a failure of leadership. The #fundraising sector is a rotting fish.

The most recent example of this happened last week when I was notified that a former employer accepted a multi-million-dollar donation from a man who sexually harassed and sexually exploited me.?The man who told me that “I had fantastic breasts” at a meeting.?The man who told me I wore clothes to entice him.?The man, who on a trip to visit another donor, sexually propositioned me.?The man who talked about his genitals in an email to me.?The man who told me he condoned his brother-in-law's affair with a younger woman because business was more important than family.

The leadership of that organization decided to accept a gift from someone known to be a sexual predator and abuser in our community. Since I wrote the op-ed in 2019, other fundraisers have reached out to tell me their experiences with this man.?One woman said at an event he “asked me what colour my underwear was. Later at that event, when she was cleaning up the stage, he came over and asked her if "she had bruises on her knees as she was always on them all the time." Another came forward to tell me that at an event he asked her if she joined a breast cancer charity because she had a "fantastic set of breasts."

This is the so-called "family man" they just celebrated.

Over the next two days, I was subjected to seeing and hearing announcements about this donation all over the news.?This man’s name – albeit his father’s name as well – will now be adorned on a new health care facility in our city.?Every time I see that name, I will have to remember what happen to me, and that I was betrayed by those I trusted.?They accepted this gift with full knowledge of his conduct. They chose money over ethics.

This is not the only example.?Time and time again, I have witnessed senior leaders I reported to, justify accepting gifts from people, companies, and organizations not aligned with their values to ensure they met financial targets.?This is a result of the ever-present push from private sector board members and volunteers to mold the non-profit sector into an extension of the for-profit model.??

The fundraising sector is failing.?We are failing to meet our missions and visions because we lack leadership that are willing to be political.?We are failing to meet the needs of communities because we listen to the wrong people.?We are failing to be bold and speak truth to power.?We are failing because we have allowed “transformational gifts” to become the pinnacle of success in our sector.?We are failing because we have a lack of ethical and moral leadership to just say no.

How will our sector reform itself if the people in leadership lack the fortitude to make difficult choices??How can we meet our commitments to justice, equity, diversity, access, and inclusion, if we are not willing to do what is right??How can we claim to be a sector “for good” if we don’t even know how to be good people?

Sometimes the strength within you is not a big fiery flame for all to see, but a tiny spark that whispers to you "You got this... keep going."

So what does one do in the face of this challenge??

Do you give up all together and leave??

Do you just accept this is how it is??

I don’t believe that is the case.

In walking away, I believe we walk away from what could be.?A better way of doing the work.?A better, and braver, and more political sector.?A sector that pushes the government and private sector to step up.?As sector that acknowledges its complicity in harm and works to find ways to make reparations.?A sector that can change the trajectory of the world we live in, if we are brave enough to do it.

I refuse to leave the sector in the hands of those without the moral fortitude to make hard choices.

I refuse to leave the sector in the hands of those who want to glorify and celebrate abusers.

I refuse to leave the sector in the hands of those who deny bigotry, racism, and sexism are embedded in our work.

I refuse to let this be our legacy.

I will stay and I will continue to speak and write.?I will continue to tell my truth.?I will continue to call out the inequity and injustice our sector perpetuates at every turn.?And I will not be bullied, threatened, or silenced by those who lack the backbone to make brave choices.?