RUBBERCHILD-As We Enter Tim Burton's Brain CH 2

To this day, I don’t know how that damn bird survived, but he did. All the way to Vermont. This time we lived in a condo called Blake Hill and it was rather nice. My dad was moving up in the world and we were proud of him! I went to a public school for the first time in my life. This was a huge change for me. No theology class. No priests or nuns for teachers. It was pretty cool. A bus would pick us up at six o’ clock in the morning. We would take about a 45-minute ride to school every day because our driver would have to go through the whole pick up rounds. Lucky for us, we were the first ones on the route. The bus drivers name was Bumpy and he didn’t like us at all. I didn’t know what a red neck was. I hadn’t even heard the expression yet but when I finally did get the definition of a redneck I knew they weretalking about Bumpy. I don’t know how he got his name and I didn’t ask. I suppose he thought we were upper class kids, which was hilarious because we were far from it especially in the town of Woodstock, Vermont. Not Woodstock, New York. Don’t get yourself confused. This was no hippie fun loving community. These were wasps. White, Anglo Saxon, rich fuckers. Rockefeller lived here as well as many other elite, and the town was pristine. There was no fast food. That wasn’t allowed because the town is a historic site. There was a green in the village, covered bridges, and beautiful architecture. You couldn’t even paint your house any color other than white! I was in the second grade, Miss Hawthorn’s class. She was a wonderful lady, my favorite teacher to this day. Anyway, this is when I got my first crush. Her name was Mandy

Shultz and she was beautiful. Blonde hair and blue eyes. I was in love. I was captain of the kindness club and adjusting. I had lots of friends but we certainly didn’t connect the way Ryan and I did. There were many exciting things that happened when I lived in those little town homes. I heard a little bit of music, Cyndi Lauper and a girl named Jill Almond laid on top of me once. She was a little more grown up then me and looked like a she/man but we were just bored. Another wild thing that I did was I had this hamster named Elizabeth that I was very attached to. I may have even taken her all the way from Florida. Anyway she died from a heart attack. At least that’s what my parents told me and I was mortified. The next day I took a shovel from the garage and started digging a grave. For some reason I didn’t cover the top kinda like a convertible death box so I could watch her decompose. I must have thought it was fascinating to watch a rotting rodent (I told you I was normal!). Anyway soon after a nun or sister (whatever the hell they were called now, I prefer diesels with hoods) was at my house visiting my parents. We went to a church called Our Lady of the Snow and

sometimes people would come around. I thought that it would be a good idea to take Nunny out back to look at the nice grave that I had made with a Popsicle stick cross for my hammy. I also wanted to show her the cool convertible casket that revealed the remains of my dead hamster. When I showed the old bat my invention she screamed bloody murder and took off. My parents were not pleased they grounded me and I was off to Bible study on weekdays as well as the weekends. I always liked Sunday school. I was very interested in the bible and the stories. I loved the New Testament and The Parables That Jesus taught I thought it was fascinating because to me Jesus was a real rebel.

I usually asked a lot of questions like were where Adam and Eve’s bones things of that nature. “They” (Priests and nuns) weren’t quite happy with me but they tolerated me.

Soon we moved out of the condo in Blake Hill and bought a house in West Woodstock, past Rockefeller‘s house in a giant raised ranch built in the 1800’s. It was heated by wood stoves and the doors didn’t even have doorknobs. They were these metal barn latches. Just to give you an idea, they were built when Abe Lincoln was president. It was old, cold, and pretty cool. We had a huge backyard that led to a creek and I spent my days digging up old medicine bottles and all sorts of cool treasures that would make me feel like Huck Finn or some other fictional character. Anyway, the land was beautiful. Rolling purple mountains, clean air, dirt roads, it was amazing. Just to ride your bike down the road was an adventure. I really had some time to grow and find out who I was. It became enjoyable to be alone next to the creek, just watching the flow, throwing leaves in and watching them sail down the water. I started becoming a ferocious reader, getting into Edgar Allen Poe, A Separate Peace, My Side of the Mountain. Books were my escape and still are. 

 I think that around this time may be in 3 rd grade I got my first taste of alcohol. It was Jim Beam and I thought it was disgusting. My brother’s friend Tait (R.I.P) found my dads liquor cabinet and we started taking little shots here and there. Everyone knows we were trying to emulate the commercials and our parents. We saw them sophisticated at the table in the sun, laughing with intelligent conversation. At this same time my brother’s best friend Ben Godden got a hold of some cigarettes. We would all puff on them not even knowing how to inhale, drinking a little whisky, playing cards, etc. pretty much what I do now. After a few weeks I realized that Mandy Shultz lived right around the corner and I use to walk up her long winding driveway and stare at her giant house on the hill. Aaaah can you say stalker. Let me see if I can rephrase that…okay, I can’t. It took me another year before I had the guts to go up there so I would just turn around and walk myself home. Soon us kids got into a nice pattern. We would walk to the bus stop literally around five o’ clock. My brother and I would run way up the hill waiting for the bus to come around the bend (yes, we were that fuckin’ bored). We would scream and try to out run it to the bus stop. And oh yeah, it was about 10 below so this was a good way to prevent hypothermia. When we got to school we would hang outside for about an hour before being let in and would pass the time playing wall ball and kickball. Now the next event in this story is very important. It changed the course of my life forever as well as being a part of American history. I remember being very envious of this kid named Haven Marceau and he was better than me at everything. He could do more pushups then me; he was faster than me and a better student than me. One day we were all outside on the playground playing football. As Haven yet again intercepted my pass, when this woman started walking over to watch us play. Some of the kids including Haven stopped playing and ran over to her. They were laughing and joking. I remember being amazed because most adults at least up until this time in my life were not very fond of kids. In fact, they were bastards. Soon there were more kids were around her and they were all hanging out and talking. I thought she was very cool! I found out that she was the 1st grade teacher at our school and that these were some of her past students. A couple of days later I found out her name, Penny Lowe. My friend Evan’s mother was friends with Penny and that’s how I got the info.

Soon after My mother started hanging out with Evan’s mom as well as Penny and we would hang out over at his house while they talked and laughed. It was good to see my mom making friends. She didn’t like the move to Florida and now she seemed relaxed. About a week later my sister, who was sixteen at the time, started acting erratic. She said we had to have a kids meeting in the kitchen. Mom was gone and I noticed that lately she had been gone often. So we

all went into the kitchen to find out what all the commotion was about. I’ll never forget the speech. My sister said mom was like a white piece of chalk and that she had been hanging out with pink chalk and that soon she would be pink too. I had no clue what the hell she was talking about. This didn’t seem out of the ordinary because sixteen year old sisters are crazy anyway. A few more days went by and things really started to get out of control! My brother was getting beat up. My sister was in danger at high school, and Penny the nice lady at school was fired. I remember my dad and mom fighting like crazy. One day soon after, my mom took me out somewhere. I think it was

a restaurant but I can’t remember. All I remember is the song That’s what Friends are For playing in the background. She sat me down and told me flat out what all the commotion was about. “Sweetheart,” she said. “I’m gay”. Obviously I had no idea what this meant but she said she had found out that she liked a human being on earth and that the human happened to be female instead of male. She said that it was what made her happy. It seemed reasonable enough to me and of course I wanted my mom to be happy, so I hugged her and told her I loved her. She cried on me for the first time and told me that I was very understanding. Now, I may have understanding but my sister and brother were not. All hell had broken loose in the small town of WASPS. Penny was getting death threats. My sister was attacked by a mob of angry students and my dad was demoralized. He was the VP of the bank in town and everybody knew. To be left for

another woman in a man’s eyes is utter failure. You turned them to the other side. There’s something wrong with you. That’s what all these people were thinking about my old man. The divorce was unbearable and it was the very first time in New England that a child custody law was being decided based on sexuality. People were debating like crazy over the effect of being raised by gays and 98% thought it was wrong. And they were willing to physically show their point of view. I was scared shitless but my brother and sister were just plain mad. Soon it got worse. Somehow my mother was living in the big country house and my dad and us kids lived in a one-bedroom apartment next to a gas station in town. We all slept in one room and my dad tried to hold it together. School got worse. People thought we had this contagious disease and our church said nothing. As the threats became worse my mom decided to get the hell out of dodge. Penny was in serious danger and I personally didn’t see the big deal. I really didn’t understand what people were getting so worked up about. I asked my brother again

what the definition of gay was so I was sure I had it right and he beat the shit out of me. So either way I realized this lifestyle was not tolerated. Love has rules and honesty has boundaries. My mom literally escaped to the northeast kingdom of Vermont in a town called Thetford. But soon people found out they were there and started putting up signs to “Take Back Vermont”. It was very scary. It didn’t take long before my brother, my sister, and my dad and I were back at the country house. Mom was gone and we were all really messed up. I remember sleeping in my dad’s bed for a long time. I also remember sitting with his shotgun in the closet wondering if I should just do it. Soon, because of my anxiety, I started picking up a whole slew of habits. Twitches, obsessive behavior, as well as depression. It was all too much for my brain and it was finding ways to protect itself. Of course I didn’t know this at the time; I just thought I was going

crazy! Mom was never around, dad was distant, my brother was angry, and my sister was 16 and in hell. Her boyfriend dumped her and led a nasty group of teens to find her.

Once they did they cornered her and began throwing rocks and spitting in her face. This fantastic endeavor left her homebound indefinitely and we were all scared. Our lives were in danger, and it was time to move. There was this town about an hour and a half away from Woodstock called Rutland. It was actually a city, and the second biggest in Vermont woohoo! My dad was already commuting there so the escape plan was coming together quite nicely. I remember my sister being upset because she didn’t want to deal with another school. It kind of made sense considering what she was dealing with now but my dad said “no way”. Next thing I know (and I’ll always remember this because I

actually laughed for the first time in 6 months) my sister started running towards the creek like she was going to dive in. I quickly realized that she was going to try and drown herself in the river and I stood next to my brother in pure enjoyment. She had been reading way too many romance novels and I knew it was finally going to pay off. I bet she thought it looked like she was diving into a torrential sea of blackness to drown her

sorrows. In reality it couldn’t have been further from the truth. So there she goes down the hill across the backyard through the woodland (I told you the backyard was big) and into the creek. What she didn’t know was the creek, at this time of the year, was about ankle deep and she belly flopped like a dumb ass into about an inch of water, mud and lily pads. It was awesome and ridiculous until she hid in the wood for twelve hours, which just sucked. Around this same time, my brother and I decided to go the community-swimming hole one last time. We still had a few understanding friends and we wanted to say goodbye. When we got to the hole we hopped in and started playing near a mini dam just below the underpass. A gay basher must have seen me swimming from the bridge and thought I was a homo zombie sent to destroy the human race. He threw a rock and it hit me in the side of my head and knocked me out. I floated down the river

essentially drowning until Michelle Dewey; the only friend that stood by my sister while she was basically being stoned grabbed me. She brought me to the hospital and I got fourteen stitches in my head. Michelle Dewey saved my life. As you can tell, it was time for the DeClue’s to leave town again. We were all damaged goods on another adventure with so much left behind.