Are We Doomed to Be?Selfish?

Do humans have an innate tendency towards selfishness, as argued by many philosophers and thinkers throughout history? Or are we more inclined towards altruism, and will do good for others without any personal gain, as believed by many other philosophers?

For a long time, I've been wavering between the two thoughts. On one hand, there is the famous verse from the Three Character Classic, written in the 13th century and passed down for generations as part of early education for every Chinese child: "People at birth are inherently good." On the other hand, in the modern world we were born into, even in the very society that praises the belief in the kind nature of human beings, "the law of the jungle" has become increasingly mainstream.

This long-standing puzzle in my mind was finally solved by a book I recently read. In fact, it answered more questions than the selfishness/altruism one.

What I appreciate about this book is that its conclusions are based on research and evidence, and have overturned some long-standing social research theories that were poorly or incorrectly tested. I'm excited to share some of my learnings with you and hope you will share the excitement I experienced.

1.The hypothesis of the "rational man" barely holds ground in the real world

Results from experiments that compared real-world people to the "rational man" showed that, every time, average people behaved kinder and more nobly.

Interestingly, one experiment carried out by economics professor Robert Frank showed that the longer students studied economics, the more selfish they became. No offence to my super-smart economics expert friends; economics was one of my favourite subjects in my MBA journey, and I continue to look up to you talented bunch. However, it is helpful to be aware of the unintended consequence of being "too rational."

2. Watch out for what we watch

Research on children shows that the frequency of watching violent TV programs in childhood is positively linked to aggressive behaviours in adulthood. The relevance is even higher than that between the exposure to asbestos and developing cancer.

Similarly, girls who frequently watch reality shows tend to believe that being mean and lying to others are necessary conditions for success. Oops, from now on Married at First Sight is banned from our TV screen before my daughter’s bedtime. Essentially, the kind of cultural stories we tell and are exposed to determines our behaviours.

3. We have evolved to be more childlike.

Over the past 200,000 years, the shape of humans' faces and bodies has become softer, more youthful, and more feminine looking. The shape of our teeth and jawbones has also become more "childish looking". In other words, we have been evolving to become more childlike.

4. Intelligence is a side-effect of friendliness

Consider the various types of dogs that have been domesticated over the course of human history, such as Border Collies, Poodles, and Golden Retrievers as the top three most intelligent dog breeds. Don't they look more friendly compared to their ancestors - wolves? Biologists have discovered that higher IQ and social intelligence are byproducts of the friendly behaviour, which was proved through the domestication of wild foxes. (You can read more about the wild fox breeding experiment here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mind-brain-and-value/202009/what-friendly-foxes-reveal-about-social-psychology )

5. Social intelligence a key to our survival as a species

Anthropologists and economists have extrapolated that Homo Sapiens outlived Neanderthals not because our ancestors were smarter (Neanderthals were thought to be potentially brainier), but because of their extensive social relationships, which made constant exchanges of new ideas and learnings possible.

Collaboration led Homo Sapiens to thrive by allowing them to access more resources and share skills and knowledge. This gave them an evolutionary advantage over the Neanderthals, who were less capable to form the same collaborative bonds. As a result, this contributed to the extinction of Neanderthals.

6. It is in our nature to desire peace and unity

According to interviews with frontline soldiers in the Pacific and Europe battle fields early last century, only 15-25% of soldiers actually used their weapons. When it came to using it, most resisted, finding excuses to avoid shooting another human being. Violence is something we naturally detest. The majority of the deaths and injuries were caused by long distance attacks, which do not require the attacker to stare into another person's eyes.

7. The ‘Them and Us’ is also in our nature, and empathy made it worse

It’s no news that oxytocin as a love hormone enhances relationships and makes us feel more bonded. There is a downside to this, as it strengthens the group identity felt by the in-group members, and we become more protective towards ‘our own kind’ while more hostile to the relatively out-group members.

Not good news for breaking down barriers between different groups of people.

When compounded with our ability to be empathetic, which is a feeling towards people who are like us, you can imagine what that means for the people we perceive to belong to the ‘out-group’. Empathy can actually make us less tolerant of ‘the others’ that are not like us.

Don’t be disheartened by that finding yet. Because we can do better. It is suggested that instead of being empathetic, be sympathetic, and that can lead to more positive results. Sympathy makes us aware of the pain someone else experiences, so we can take actions to help them.

8. Diversity and inclusion must go hand-in-hand

Research has shown that diversity makes us more friendly. However, diversity alone doesn’t do the trick. Diverse groups could actually aggravate existing prejudices if they don't interact with one other. Therefore, there needs to be intentional interactions for different groups to be together and mingle.

Through interactions we will learn and see that although we are all different from each other, we are also all alike. We all care about our family members and friends (and pets), we share the same things at all the deeper levels of humanity. Another rather effective way to combat biases is travelling, which is especially beneficial when doing it at a young age.

“Phew, human’s selfish nature is just a myth after all”. In reading those points, I hope you are feeling the same way I do. And these were just a few highlights I gathered from the book. You probably want to hurry me to spell out the name of the book already. Here you go: Humankind: A Hopeful History by Dutch historian Rutger Bregman. Go for it, it’s probably the most uplifting book we need to read in this era.

If you don’t have the time as the busy human you are, just remember the gist of it: Be kind and treat others with trust. This strategy brings us the most beneficial outcomes. The false allegation of our selfish nature has ruled our beliefs for too long. It's time for us to cultivate a positive outlook and narrative about ourselves and the relationships we form with each other. After all, as humankind, we are supposed to be kind.

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