“..but we don't think you’re ready!”

Have you heard that statement in your professional career before? Maybe in the context of a promotion? Or just to discuss your progression???

Let me tell you I've heard this sentence a couple of times over my 11 years and it was mainly in times when I was eligible and/or absolutely ready BUT my employer just needed an excuse or just couldn't give me an honest reason. Of course when I asked for feedback on why or what Id have to change the examples were very thin and most often it was “I can't even explain it but you're just not ready!”

The first couple of times - young and inexperienced as I was - I took the feedback and accepted the response.?“We can look at it again in the future/a year” they would promise. I went back to my desk and worked even harder, took more initiative, opened more accounts, and beat more targets.?

I am someone who values and appreciates feedback and who actively puts together an action plan to implement the feedback to prove even more that I am shapeable, adaptable, and ready for a challenge.?

Even with my efforts most times my career progression was delayed more and more (compared to other colleagues if I may say so) with further excuses.?

Even as I got older and more experienced the conversation followed me, yet with one significant difference. Over the years that simple sentence started to get to me and I started doubting myself. Are they right? Am I not ready? Am I a bad leader??

As the words imprinted within me I lost my passion and also my drive. I started doubting myself even to the point that I rejected job offers for more senior roles because I believed I couldn't do the job. My employer doesn't think I'm ready so i’d be crazy to jump into such a challenge!! I believe I even made more rookie mistakes because I doubted myself. I become the person that wasn't ready!?

Looking back, of course, I've made mistakes and I wish I could do certain things differently but all those mistakes taught me valuable lessons and shaped me into the employee I am. Today I can reflect and proudly say that I was not bad!?That sentence does not define me and I should not stop myself from taking risks.?

As I spoke to colleagues and friends about my journey, I realized how many went through the same thing - both female and male. The reactions I receive when I say “I was told I am not ready” create an immediate bond and experiences are shared. The one common factor: frustration!?

To any managers that use this sentence: I urge you to think about the following:?

How do you expect your employee to come in tomorrow and be motivated to work and most importantly do something different that would make them more eligible if you can't even tell them what they are doing wrong??

How will the employee and you know when they are ready? They don't have a goal to work towards!?

Do you realize that by not giving examples and legit reasons your response is simply un-motivating and killing drive? I hope you realize you will lose that employee!?

Ask yourself the following: who told you you’re ready? Aren't you where you are today because someone took a chance on you? What does not ready mean??

In times like the Great Resignation and the War for Talent, I urge anyone to consider soft skills at a higher importance. We can teach people a program or how to do a certain thing but you cannot train drive, creativity, and most importantly passion. If you take a chance on someone they will repay you with dedication, hard work, and loyalty.?

Last food for thought - as a manager, aren't you actually proving you’re not ready by telling your staff “you are just not ready”.?

Please share your stories below!