We don't see things as THEY are; we see them as WE are

Are you convinced that a certain person is an arrogant low-life with no concern for others?

That the woman you met last night thinks she is the hottest thing since sliced bread?

That you are a "morning person"?

That your mum’s cooking is the best?

That you’re afraid of talking in public?

That you hate the smell of fish?

That you have a bad memory?

That you hate flying (on a plane, hopefully)?

That the economy is going to hell?

That your life sucks!?

Throughout our day, we see, hear, read and feel many things.

What can you remember of yesterday or last week? Think about memories which have a strong emotional connection and see how vivid your recollection of that memory is as opposed to a memory without any emotional attachment.

Our human experience is entirely subjective. This subjectivity is based on memories of past experiences.

Let’s see how memories are associated with emotions:

Memories provide us with all kinds of information about a past experience. A positive experience can produce feelings of happiness or contentment while a negative one can cause anger or despair.

Remember the saying:

“people will forget what you said but they wont forget how you made them feel”?

This saying has profound implications on our subjective experiences since our memories shape our future response based on an emotional experience.

If I had to sit across you on a table and draw the number “9”, what number would you see?

If you are like most, you would see the number “6”.

To digress a little, the human eye sees things upside down. It is the brain that turns it around and presents it to us the right way up (was the other view more accurate in the first place?).

If something as factual as a number clearly written on the table is subjective to the observer, imagine how we distort our perception of experiences and people?

The memory of this event is stored as You saw it, not as how It was.

When you remember a past experience, you are only remembering the image of the experience, not the actual experience.

Remember a time when you felt like your boss was taking you for granted and shouting at you for delivering that document to them late? What did you think about them at the time? You may have said things like “My boss is an arrogant and inconsiderate monster!” In fact, what you mean to say is their actions were inconsiderate.  A few days later, the boss apologises to you and explains their anxiety caused by pressure they were facing from the client.

They then reward you with a few days off for your hard work and thank you for your patience. Does your perception of your boss change? You might say "My boss is so kind and generous". This statement still does not describe who your boss really is. Their actions or behaviour may seem to be kind and generous but is that who they really are? Or is it, again, your subjective experience and perception of who they are?

I remember always “believing” I was a morning person. My brain would be the clearest early in the morning so I would do most of my technical research and writing then. Last year, I committed to delivering a speech the next day, but I didn’t get around to writing the speech until the evening.

I sat up through the night and finished it. It was my best speech I had ever written (according to my subjective perception). From this day forward, I became a “night person” and joined a large group of "night owls". Did I become a night person or was I always a night person? Was I a “morning person” in the first place?

I remember a client of mine saying “my daughter really knows how to push my buttons. She makes me so angry!” I said “did she create those buttons or did you? How did she know where the buttons were and how to push them? If someone else said or did the same thing to you, would you have felt the same anger you felt towards your daughter?”.

We create these emotional buttons and then tell people where to find them so that we can feel anger.

Our actions and behaviours don’t define who we truly are.

How we use language can have a detrimental effect on a child's development when we say things like “you’re a bad girl/boy”. What we should say instead is “that their action was bad”.

Our definition of “bad” is also subjective. If you ever visited many parts of Asia, it is not considered impolite to chew with your mouth open. In many Arab cultures, having a big ‘ol loud burp after a meal is a way of showing gratitude for how delicious the meal was. Just because they don’t conform to your perception of good manners, it doesn’t mean their actions are “bad”.

Emotions are our thoughts and feelings. Emotions are energy in motion. All energy is frequency and all frequency carries information.

Change your thoughts,

Change your emotions,

Change your frequency,

Change your reality!

More about frequencies and emotions in a later article

Your brain is a prediction machine. It is trying to create the future for you by predicting what will happen next. It is using your past experiences for reference.

If your past is subjective based on your perception, surely your prediction of the future is subjective too!

Therefore, you don’t see things as THEY are, you see things as WE are!

Questions to Ponder:

Can we create a new reality by conscious programming?

Is happiness a realistic goal?

Can we create the emotions we seek in our minds instead of seeking them outside of us?

Are we sabotaging our goals and dreams by our subjective past experiences?

Can we use negative experiences to create new positive emotions?

What impact are our emotions having on our health and well-being?

Rishad Ahmed

Zen Coach

Mentor and Business Coach

https://www.zencoach.co.za

[email protected]