If we don't see our value as introverts, how can we expect others to?

One of the things my introverted clients say to me is that they feel overlooked and undervalued.

And that’s more often than not what I help them to build strategies hone their skills around. And, whilst still honouring their introversion.

So imagine my surprise when I stumble upon what I think is a very valid and positive question in an introverted group asking “What do you all think is the advantage of being Introvert?”

I prepared to add my thoughts which included

·???????? The ability to be okay with silence, so to listen with my ears and eyes, which means I can build on ideas and notice what's not being said.

·???????? To be calm under pressure and able to calm high-emotion situations.

·???????? That I am resourceful so not high maintenance or demanding of people’s time and energy.

·???????? That I love my own company and don't ever get bored. I can mix when I'm charged and motivated enough and retreat when I'm done without drama.

·???????? That I lead by serving people, not by dominating them or filling them with hogwash.

·???????? The pleasure of engaging in deep and meaningful conversations that expand my thinking.

·???????? The ability to put my head down and focus so I get into flow and produce great work when the environment is quiet and conducive.

I could have gone on but decided instead to read some of the other responses.

And, I was saddened and a little shocked.

The other responses I read included

??????? There's no true upside to being an introvert

??♀?????? It's a complete burden

??♂??????? No form of disappointment looks new... We get used to it …With no emotions

??????? People actually leave you alone

???????? We stay out of drama, gossip and mess because we don’t talk to people

Imagine if you’d just figured out that what made you different was your introversion and then you were swamped with these kinds of answers – you’d probably think that introversion was an affliction that you needed to rid yourself of.

Now, to be fair, there were a few other positive responses which enabled me to recover some semblance of balance. But it showed that the years or decades of being led to believe that we are somehow 'less than' more outgoing people has on many of us.

We represent about half of any population, so there is nothing wrong with identifying as an introvert.

One of the things that I believe we need to do as introverts is to own our strengths and learn how to articulate them positively.

“Thank you for noticing that I’m quiet. As an introvert, I’m a really good empathic listener and can really only do that when I’m quieter. So, thank you for noticing that about me.”

How will we ever help people to understand that our wiring, our neurodiversity, is nothing that needs fixing, if we can’t even see the positives in our own temperament?

So, my big plea to all of the introverts reading this is to get acquainted with your strengths and natural qualities, own them with a sense of pride and learn how to talk about them positively.

And if you manage introverts, or are a parent or in any way a leader or role model to people, please encourage them to do the same.

Then, next time someone asks, ‘what’s the advantage of being an introvert?’ there will be a flood of positive responses.

And how much better will introverts feel when they are surrounded by affirmations? ?