We Don't Always Know What We Want

There’s an art to helping people realize what they want especially when they think they know but are missing something. This art turns into a skill when helping those you work for see what they are missing while giving them exactly what they need and truly want.

A few years ago I was looking for a new commercial lease. Jay Shaffer and I had worked together on a number of deals in the past and he knew my style, how to work with me, and exactly the things I’d ask. Don’t drag me all over town, I don’t care about big fancy space, find what will be functional and comfortable for the team, and find me a deal. He also knew my weaknesses and how to handle those.

He found it. Exactly what I wanted. Exactly what everyone said wouldn’t be possible in the current market. Commercial leases were in the high 50’s per square foot rapidly moving into the 60s in some neighborhoods. I wanted 20s, maybe 30s. I wanted out of the area we were in where rates had skyrocketed.

We go to a space and it’s great. Everything I asked for but had something I didn’t ask for. A long walk. I had underestimated how far “far” is when walking to the office. Jay and I made the hike over to the space which was outside his recommended area but I insisted. He was giving me everything I wanted while ensuring I knew what I’d really be signing myself, the company, and most importantly the team up for. He had told me but I didn’t hear him. It was on the walk that it clicked. I didn’t want what I wanted. 

Fast forward a week later and Jay landed us an amazing, off-market sub-lease. Location appropriate, price was still well below the fast rising market median, and gave us what we needed. There was a day that a bucket of water fell out of the ceiling but that’s an entirely different story and not his fault (but I’ll use that against him in the future).

Jay knew me. He knew I had underestimated the walk because I was focused on other aspects and I had a blindspot. Jay knew he had to really show me the walk because that's what it would take in my case. He wouldn’t need to do that with everyone but he did with me. It was his ability to show me that I really wanted a blend of my requirements in the a way that I understood it that made him successful in that moment.

Far too often we fight with people about what's "right" or we walk away. The most skilled, and successful, are those who can teach in the moment to get us all to the "right" place.